Am i gay or do i have HOCD?

[sebble]

Hi all

I consider myself to be a straight man who has been in a loving relationship for around 5 years. I play rugby regulary and enjoy spending time with my mates. Recently on a rugby tour to canada we were in a steam room, like we always did after games, and i accidently saw my mates penis. He saw and called me gay. We both laughed it off an continued with the conversation. However in the car on the way back to the hotel i questioned why i looked at his penis and began to think i am gay. Im pretty sure i am not gay as i have never been turned on by a naked man before and have been in this relationship for five years and loved every second of it (including the sex).

I now keep playing scenarios in my mind to see whether i am gay. I also looked at straight and gay porn to see if any arouses me and this doesnt work. I also still get turned on when i kiss and see my girlfriend naked and then question why i find this attractive to which i cannot find an answer. I still have sex with her on a regular basis and this reinforces my belief that i am not gay for only a little while. I have never had a dream about sex with a guy and am disgusted with my self for questioning why i dont find men attractive. My head makes me believe that i fancy all men even though i know this is not true. It seems like the episode in the steam room flipped something in my head making me believe i was gay. I cannot tell me girlfriend about this as although we are both open-minded she will definately leave me.

Now when i look at any man i panic and question do i find them attractive and why not. I have never been diagnosed or test for OCD however i have always been asked whether i have had it by teachers and friends alike as i am extremely hyperactive and always want to be the centre of attention.

Am i just suppressing gay thoughts or am i just panicing over nothing?

Any help would be greatly appreciated

[mjbrown]

It sounds like you are obsessing over this. If you were gay, you would probably know it by now. However, homophobia is often seen as a defense mechanism that protects against latent homosexuality. You don't say that you hate gay people, so this obsession you now have is probably just a manifestation of anxiety or OCD. Most researchers and psychologists don't measure sexuality as black or white - but rather on a continuum. Most people are on the heterosexual end... but it is a scale (few people are 100% exclusively heterosexual or homosexual). If you read about some of Kinsey's research, you'll see that most heterosexual people have had some kind of same-sex encounter at some point in their lives. This doesn't make them gay. Seeing your mates penis definitely doesn't make you gay. It might be helpful to talk to a therapist about why you are obsessing about this. It is likely due to an underlying anxiety disorder - rather than hidden homosexual attraction.

All the best..

[snoop16]

Hiya mate, I can completely relate to what ur sayin. I myself think that I have HOCD. Just like you mate im big on sport, I play basketball 3 times a week, train at the gym alot ect. I also have a GF who i love and am attracted to. My HOCD started when I over heard my college teacher say to another member of the class that she thought i was gay. My first reaction to this was anger, at the thort of why she would make a comment like that. and then came the rest....why would she think im gay?......do i come across gay?.......and then the one that we all fear....am i gay. And just like u mate, ive looked at gay porn to see if i am aroused by it....and never am. but my head tells me that i am. Ive become so depressed by it, im scared to go to my basketball practices from the fear that I mite be attracted to another player. I dont like walkin down the street and looking at another male, incase i get attracted to him.....Its effecting my home life, my relationship with my GF. (I also fear that if i talk to my GF about it, she'll leave me) and effecting my job. Your not alone mate.
I wish you all the best, I hope it subsides for you.

[Mike165]

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[flob]

why does everyone think it's so impossible to be attracted to both sexes? i'll never understand the big deal.

even if you were completely attracted to your friends penis...that still doesn't make you gay...it just means you like having sex with the opposite sex, but that you also find your friends penis attractive. as mjbrown said, sexuality is a continuum...it's not black and white. there are so many variants of sexual attraction that one shouldn't worry about what gender they're attracted to...only that they have a healthy physical attraction to the person they are with.