Can childhood abuse lead to OCD

Hello, Well i was sexually abuse from age 4-8, and suffered silently until now. (Im 24) I have pushed this to the back of my mind for as long as i can remember, but now suddenly feel the desire to tell someone, anyone. Ive wondered if this abuse could have triggered what my life is like today. I have two kids (age 2 and 4) and I obsess constantly over them (which may sound normal) For one I have to clean with bleach daily, scrub the floors and countertops. But that isnt what bothers me. I am less obsessvie about my self, and moreso about the girls. First, washing their hands, I can stand for them to tough Anything. And I can see this coming out in my four year old. She keeps her hands in her pockets most the time. Other things that I obsess about is cleaning my ears (i know weird one) I used approximatly 15 q-tips a day. I have to, if i get low on q-tips, i will go out and buy some, no matter what time it is. Another thing is pulling my hair out, not on my head but on my legs, arms, and other areas. Another thing is school. Im in nursing school and am obssessed with getting A's. This may sound normal, but if I am tring to study, and something is stopping me (like the kids) i feel like I cant breath, I can physically breath in and out but my chest gets tight and i get really scared. Could all this be simply anxiety, and would this have anything to do with what happened when i was little? I want to stop, I want my kids to be free and happy and not worry about what the stuff i do.

[Joris113]

Hi Faith,

I am very sorry to hear you were abused, that is a horrible thing to have happen to you. I can understand you feel the need to tell people. These sorts of secrets can weigh terribly. My personal experience is that it helped to talk about it, in particular with people close to me.

From what I understand of OCD, it can start after times of high stress or during major hormonal changes (adolescence, childbirth). Not 100% if it's something you "can get" or you simply have from birth though.

I would really recommend treatment, a psychiatrist that can give you advice and help you unlearn or keep in check some of these behaviours. There are some drugs that seem to be at least moderately effective in dampening the strength of the anxiety caused by not giving into the compulsions. I always say find treatment (probably because my wife doesn't want to, my mind is rather stuck on this) but I think the fact that you are incorporating your children into your behaviour (as you said you can't stand them to touch anything) means you have an additional responsibility to them.
I hope that doesn't sound too  harsh, it's not meant to.

Definitely start talking to some mental health professionals, as hard as this may be in the beginning. I really wish you all the best, combining children and studies is harrowing at the best of times I imagine :)