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Can't Make Decisions
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Can't Make Decisions

I never seem to want to make a decision.  Every time I make a decision I treat it like I will die if I make the wrong one.  Can someone offer suggestions as to how to be more at ease with tough decision making?

Thanks.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have the same problem, though the obsession not only pertains to my own death, but also to friends and family.  For instance, I could be shopping for a new pair of sneakers, find a pair that I really like, and then suddenly be smacked with the irrational thought that if I purchase the sneakers, my life will suddenly slide into quick and downward spiral, eventually leading to my inevitable death.  Likewise, the same can be attributed to thoughts towards friends and family.

Beyond the fear of harm towards myself and others, the aforementioned obsession can pertain to virtually anything in my life that I vaguely consider "negative."  For instance, purchasing those sneakers could create the inexplicable dread that I'll never see my grandmother again, or write another song on the violin (I play the violin).  The simple act of purchasing a comforting necessity -- anything, really -- can become an exhausting effort, one that I sometimes avoid altogether.

While I'm consciously aware that these thoughts are ridiculous and irrational, I'm unable to ease the overwhelming sense of anxiety that I'm feeling at the moment.    
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299889_tn?1257342977
Life is all about choices.  I have the same disorder but it is no longer in the fore front of my mind.  Some of the struggle with choices may be caused by lack of self-esteem.  I posted little sticky notes on mirrors telling myself whatever choice I made would be the right one for me. No longer would I allow myself to choose what I thought everyone wanted me to say.  No more people pleasing.  The libraries are full of self help books with topics on choices and self esteem.
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437036_tn?1225288404
i am exactly the same hun.
if i dont carry out my rituals i think something bad is going to happen to my loved ones.
I would suggest medication and therapy.. are you talking to someone or taking meds? diazapam helps with anxiety, but unfortunetly it hasnt worked for me- but that doesnt mean it wont work for you!! It is a very good drug if used properly.
Its hard for me to give you this advice, because we are in the same boat.
However i am always here if you need to talk about it ok :-)
Goodluck,
Pleasehelpme88
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400867_tn?1371756694
I have EXACTLY the same issues.  I wear white underwear every day because if I don't, something will happen to one of my family members.  I change what I'm going to wear five times in the morning because if I wear one thing, I will die, another thing, my mother will die, and so on and so on.  It's so horrible, time consuming and stressful. And this on top of my debilitating anxiety.
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Avatar_n_tn
hi i dont know if anyone is still using this forum, but im doing some research for a solo performance into decision making as i too have problems deciding on things but not to the same extent as you guys, i was wondering if anyone wold be interested in heping me?
it would really be appreciated, thank you, Jodie :)
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Avatar_m_tn
i cant make decisisions but i dont think people will die, i just make big mistakes.. like i am out of work and had an interview to go to and was nervous about going, i got dressed and undressed 3 times before running to late to go and so missed an opportunity to get myself a job and then another time it took me 20mins to decide which cup to use for a drink, i get really messed up and it gets me so upset. nobody seems to understand and just laugh at me when i try to explain
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Avatar_f_tn
i get that but have never told anyone. i used to pick at my face before meeting someone i really liked and then i'd look so bad i'd stand them up. it was a horrible cycle of destructive indecisive kind of anxiety! getting a supportive partner who makes me feel good has totally changed loads of these behaviours apart from my nail biting when things get stressful! still can't deny that! i don't know what makes people do the things we've discussed - it doesn't seem like OCD but more anxiety or procrastination to a severe degree???
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Avatar_f_tn
I doupt anyone still uses this forum but I have was just reading it. I have the same issues but a little less severe. I don't think people are going to die, I just can't make a decision and get really upset. My parents went to lowes and it took me 15 minutes of flip flopping before I finally decided to go. It drives me insane yet I have no control over stopping. I also have a bad habit of picking my finger nails and surrounding skin back when I get nervousness or aggravated, and sometimes when I am just bored! I'm not so sure that it is OCD (although I do keep my bedroom very organized and even my locker at school, so...) Akso, noone understands just how serious my problem is. They just ask me why I couldn't decide and when I tell them I don't know they just look at me like I am insane (although I kind of am). Just need a way of stopping this nonsense...
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Avatar_m_tn
I just came across this forum and read your message.  I was doing research  for my teenage daughter, she is going thru the same stuff along with depression.  You mentioned that you need a way to stop.  You need to try to explain to your parents how your feeling and let them know that you need to get professional help, this is seroius stuff.  My daughter has been seeing a psychiatrist for months now along with anxiety teen classes.  It has been working (its a slow process) but we are now looking at medication too.  Please go tell your parents that you need help before it gets too late.  

~A Concerned Parent
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Avatar_m_tn
i mean no harm when i say this "pleasehelpme88", but this isnt a drug issue. this is an issue of low self esteem as said by the previous comment. i say avoid the drugs and it would be easier if one would just go up to a any girl/guy that attracts them and talk to them. that is the first thing to raise anyones' self esteem. and to overcome fear of rejection.

Overcoming fear of rejection means, overcoming the fact of the want to please everyone. Overcoming that means over coming being obsessed with what decision one needs to make. when your self esteem is improved your choices are easier to make because you exclude the subconscious fear of disappointing others around you and focus on your own happiness. I hope that helps
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Avatar_m_tn
I found people who are intolerant to starches in food have this problem, may also be related to an overall sugar intolerance, starches and sugars actually affects the higher reasoning functions of the brain. Malto dextrin and dextrin are added to foods this is a potato starch added to many processed foods like potato chips that are flavored if I eat these it totally screws up my thought process.
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