Cheating confession

[johnmccormick90]

I am not sure if this is part of my OCD or if I should actually confess because it's the right thing to do. Basically, I cheated on my girlfriend about 6 months ago. Scared to tell her, I hid it for a couple weeks before telling her. When I told her, I left out details to make it more intense, saying it was only a kiss and I immediately pushed the girl off. A week later, I couldn't help it, and told her it was a make out. I felt complete relief and moved on from the situation. Now, randomly six months later, I feel extreme guilt from the situation. What really happened was, I came onto the girl and we made out before I stopped it. This guilt from left out details killed me, and I decided to once again confess to her that I did not push the girl off right away, and I made out with her and went along with it. It broke her heart, and for the third time of hearing me come clean, she still forgave me. However, ONCE AGAIN, I feel intense guilt for lying and saying she came onto me. After last time, my girlfriend did ask for every little detail, but I couldn't say that. If I told her I came onto the girl, along with all the other gross details that she does not need to know, it would break her heart and she would leave me. I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to destroy her. But these details are literally driving me insane in fear and anxiety. She already knows that I made out with her, went along with it. She just thinks the girl came onto me and I accepted, when in reality we both came onto each other equally, maybe more on my side. She asked for these details, and I hid them. Should I tell her? Or will this go away and seem minor in the future? Is it my OCD, or the right thing to do?

[pamelausa]

By the way,  this happened to me before.   I know it is not easy.   6 months is such a long time.   Maybe ask yourself,   does she want to know.   If this was my boyfriend,  I wouldn't want anymore information.   Just don't do it again.

[pamelausa]

That sounds like real guilt made worse by ocd.   I've had the same thing. Only u can decide what to do.   At least she kinda knows.