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Avatar universal

Compulsive with catching STD's

Hello to all.

I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.

Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.

I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.

My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.

Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.

Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.

I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?

Thank you very much.
Best Answer
1699033 tn?1514113133
The first step is knowing that what you have is OCD and also that OCD is full of irrational thoughts.  What you are thinking falls into this category; a bunch of irrational thoughts that are just wearing you down.  

First of all, you won't get an STD from the doctor not wearing gloves after he touches a doorknob.  Now if the flu were going around, then maybe.  But you did the right thing and asked the doctor to wear the gloves.  I promise you that he will in no way do something that would intentionally harm you.  This is just another irrational thought.  So you don't need to switch doctors.  Actually, everytime you do switch doctors, you are giving into the thought and that just makes it worse.  It is kind of like adding gasoline to a fire.  So just keep on communicating with your doctors about what you need for them to do.  

When you were in therapy, what did it do for you?  Was it just talk therapy?  Did they teach you techniques to combat these irrational thoughts?  Were you ever on medication?    Why did you stop going to therapy?  

It is very, very hard to get a handle on OCD without outside help.  There are self-coaching skills you can learn, and you have to try not to avoid the situations that bother you but professional help is really the only way.  

Here is a little story about me.  I developed a phobia about HIV.  I worried about it all the time.  What I ended up doing was going and sitting in an AIDS clinic.  I sat in the same chairs that the patients sat in.  I picked up the same magazines that they picked up,  I stayed there for an hour every other day.  After this exposure therapy, I was over it.  Case solved.  Of course it was replaced with some other stupid irrational thought but I just dealt with that one too.  For me though, I have to be on medication or I would not be able to function.  
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1699033 tn?1514113133
You need to go back to the prescribing doctor and talk to him/her about what you are feeling.  The meds should be working better for you by now.  And the last thing you want to do is start "avoiding" situations.  I know you were tired and were worried about the dentist but remember how well the last time went?  You have to take those positive experiences and use them.  Once you start giving in and avoiding certain things it is harder to come back from it.  You have to be your own motivator Andreas.  You have to MAKE yourself get up and do the things you are worried about.  Otherwise you will be left just sitting there with your worries.  I would hate for you to be in that situation.  You know it stinks to be there so you now need to really be vigilent and proactive in your treatment.  Let me know if you need anymore help.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for posting here CL4321. It is always good to hear people who understands us.

By the way I'm feeling bad lately, both mentally and physically. On Tuesday I was supposed to go to the dentist. However, during that night, I started having nightmares and became so stressed that I just couldn't sleep and thus couldn't go there.

Fear was all over me, and I couldn't control. I'm lost again. I don't know what to do. I feel imprisoned.

If I take off the braces, my teeth will start to become sensitive and I will start OCDing because of that. If I keep my ortho treatment, I will keep fearing the dentist. If I switch dentists (how pain is that , because I need to explain everyone why I'm switching...) I'll probably find flaws on the third dentist as well.

The only hope I see is to find a dentist that also have OCD. Then he would be as obsessed as I am and I would not fear that.

Or I can just took everything out. I think that the benefits for not fearing the dentist  outweigh the problems my teeth will have...

I'm still on meds, but I'm feeling bad, dizzy, sick....

Bad days lately....

Helpful - 0
1770029 tn?1325802355
You remind me so much of myself. Catching an STD is my BIGGEST fear. Trust me when I say, you are NOT alone.

God Bless.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
I was wondering how you were doing.  It sounds like you are having a lot more good days than bad and I really think you can expect that to keep continuing until you really don't have any bad days.  Even though the dentist thought came to mind, you were still able to do your normal things.  That is so great!  We are never going to be OCD free, it is part of us but those little moments that come, you are handling them so much better now.  Have you gone back and looked at your first post?  It will show you how far you have truly come!  

Glad you had a wonderful weekend and I know there are a lot more ahead for you!  Take care.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey there, just coming here because I'm not feeling that great today. I have good news though.

This weekend I was able to have fun and enjoy with friends. Well, you might know that obsessive thoughts prevent us from really enjoying things, even if you look happy and you smile, you feel said inside. However I did nice things and my OCD was not bothering me at all.

One thing that I note when I'm not under OCD effects is that I start planning my life. I start thinking in things I want to do in the future and how I can achieve those goals. It is so happy when these feeling arrive, because I feel... alive.

Today OCD is a bit bothering me. Allways fear of the dentist. Not much intense today though, I'm beeing able to work and do stuff.

Just coming here because I really feel better talking to you.

Best wishes.
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1699033 tn?1514113133
You are doing all the right things.  Just hang in.  You are right, sometimes it doesn't take much to set the OCD off however now that have been on medication since May, nothing really bothers me anymore.  So something for you to look forward to!  :)  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think I know what happened. I stoped the Equilid for two days because my doctor's agenda was full and I couldn't contact him to get my meds.
Moreover, on friday, I went to a pub after work to drink and became drunk. That was enough to put my OCD to the edge on the weekend.

I think this Equilid is good for OCD, because it calms down the bad thoughts. By the way, I did some research on Equilid, which hash Sulpirida (or Sulpiride, in US) as active principle:

"Sulpiride (sold as Meresa, Bosnyl, Dogmatil, Dolmatil, Eglonyl, Modal; as Espiride in South Africa) is a first generation, or typical antipsychotic drug of the benzamide class used mainly in the treatment of psychosis associated with schizophrenia and major depressive disorder. Sulpiride is more commonly used in Europe and Japan. Levosulpiride is its purified levo- isomer and is sold in India for similar purpose. So far it has not been approved in the United States and Canada. The drug has strong chemical and clinical similarities to the related antipsychotic amisulpride."

So it looks like it is not used in US yet.

About the Procimax (Celexa) I've never stopeed. I've increased the dosage from 10mg to 20mg already. Maybe we'll increase again later. I'll also ask about the benzodiazepine next meeting.

My OCD is under control again. Uff... it is hard... We are not much allowed of making mistakes, or OCD can go to the edge.

Thank you, I'll take care.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hello there.  Sorry you are having a bad time of it.  You know these are irrational thoughts.  The dentist was very kind to you and would never do anything to hurt you.  But the disorder doesn't let the truth in sometimes.  And yes, it can go on and on until we feel like we are in despair.  I have been there for sure.

Are you still taking medication?  If so, how long has it been?  I am wondering if the dosage is enough for you.  I would call the prescribing doctor and discuss this to see if you need to go higher in dosage.  

Also you might want to ask your doctor about some sort of benzodiazepine to help you when you are in a crisis situation like this weekend.  The widely prescribed ones are Xanax and Klonopin here in the states.  

Take care....and keep thinking positive.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My thoughts about the dentist comeback. Why do I keep thinking that he may, somehow, try to infect me? I think that he might threat me bad because I asked him not to do so. I also keep thinking that he might hates me because I talked to him about my condition, and try to revenge on me. I still think about the posts....

On Wednesday, I was able to feel better but today I've found myself thinking bad things again...

The worst part of this compulsive thoughts is that they prevent me from becoming a better person, from "evolving". Every time I have a new idea for my life, or start some new studies, the thoughts come to my mind in such way that I stuck always with the same thinking: "Why would you try to become a better person if you are infected or to be infected, anyway?"

Today I'm kind of stucked. My wife and me were going to go out to enjoy the weekend, but I just can't get out of home. Most of times she understands my condition, but today she is a little sad with me, telling that I never do things with her because I'm allways at home on weekends.

Those cyclic thoughts are way too bad. They suck all my happiness, my energy, and make me feel tired and dizzy. Have you ever felt like that?  It is like you are not in real life, but dreaming or something... it is awful.

The good part is that I know I can come here and talk everything.

regards




Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
If you could see me, I'm jumping for joy!  I'm so happy that you went and that you felt comfortable.  

The OCD, yes, that is a tough one.  I hate it personally.   You have learned some techniques to help yourself and hopefully the medicine will kick in full scale soon and your irrational thoughts will not scare you any more.  Sometimes a thought pops into my head, but I don't sit there and dwell on it...I move on.  

Post again if you every need to talk.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Today I went to the dentist. I have to say that everything was flawless. He was very nice to me and everything was very clean. Even my OCD couldn't find anyhing to complain about.

Thank you for supporting me JGF25. I was about to give up my ortho treatment and that would certainly mess my teeth up. I think now that he is a nice guy that just tries his best to make his patients feel better.

OCD made me think so many bad things about him. I've imagined so many obscure ways that he could somehow infect me when, however, he is just trying to do his best to achieve his patients needs. All that guessing about how he could read my posts and revenge  me by somehow infecting me is pure OCD and does not reflect reality.

And, like you've said, I'm feeling better after going there. We really have to confront our fears. Of course I still have some fears, but it is becoming easier to control it.

Thank you a lot. You are an angel.

Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there.  The best thing for you to do is face your fears.  Remember my story about the AIDS clinic where I had to go and sit there at lunch time because I had an HIV phobia?  Because I didn't avoid it, I was able to get past it. It was scary in the beginning but I was really proud of myself for having done it.  .  

The doctor seems to understand what you are talking about and I really feel confident he will not do anything like that again.  Just reiterate your anxiety when you first get there.  It will go very well and when you leave you will feel so much better for having gone.  Remember, you can't get any bad diseases from a doorknob or anything like that..  That will not happen this time.  If you need to, practice your breathing just to keep yourself calm.  When I feel the anxiety start to come on, I immediately start breathing and it doesn't go any further.  

Post on Wednesday after your appointment.  I know you can do this.  You just have to remind yourself that these are irrational fears and confront them.  

Talk to you Wednesday!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello. I really need your advice now.

On wednsday I need to go to see my dentist (ortho). I still have fears. I've been feeling better, like I told before, but I don't know why I keep fearing the dentist.

Like I've said, I've already talked to him (about 5 weeks ago) and explained my OCD problem. By that time, he said that I could ask anything that I think it was wrong about his behavior while taking care of my teeth, and also said that everything he uses is sterilized and that he is concerned about biosecurity.

However, I think that he made some mistakes while taking care of me, like touching the doorknob and then comebacking to my mouth, and that made me unable to trust him again.

He is a very good ortho (technically speaking) and my teeth are becoming really nice. On the other hand I keep fearing contracting something there.

What should I do?
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
I'm so happy for you!  I'm glad the medications are making you feel better.  

You are so right about the coffee.  It is an OCD person's worst enemy.  I too gave up caffeinated drinks after my last major OCD breakdown in May.  I won't even drink diet coke or pepsi unless it is caffeine free.  I do drink decaff coffee because like you, I need that mega cup in the am and then a few at work not to keep me up but just out of habit and I really missed the taste when I gave it up all together.  

Looking forward to more positive posts in the future!  

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey JGF25, congratulations that now you are a Community Leader, you deserve it.

Comebacking to me, I would like to say that I'm feeling ok lately. I'm not worrying that much with catching HIV, HCV, etc, and believing more on realistic/statistic facts other than just letting OCD drive me crazy.

I'm taking 20mg of Procimax per day now, and I keep with 50mg of Equilid. I'm not on therapy yet, just taking medication (I might start therapy soon).

One thing that I didn't mention here is that, since my problems with OCD started, my sleeping became awfull. I really had (and still have) a hard time when trying to sleep.

However, I've found something that helped me: stop drinking coffee. I think that coffee is bad for people who suffers from OCD. Well, at least in my case, stop drinking coffee helped sleeping better and maybe not worrying that much with OCD stuff.

It is very hard to stop drinking coffee. I work in front of a computer and I'm very used to allways have a big cup of coffee by my side. It is just like a friend  that is allways there. And when you have OCD you just keep drinking and drinking, because you are compulsive.

Well, it was helpful for me. I think everyone should try.

Regards, I'll keep posting,
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
You are doing wonderful on all accounts.  Unfortuantely, as you have found out, with OCD there is always some new irrational thought coming along to drive us crazy.  So keep up with your medication.  About 4-6 weeks later, you will be over this and back to your normal self.  

Take care.
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Avatar universal
And, by the way, what do you think about my english? I've never went to a country where people speak english (I've learned from classes and internet =p).
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Avatar universal
I've been feeling better lately, really. I've been feeling so better that I've postponed my dentist because I'm afraid that everything suddenly comeback (I know I should've gone there but I just did not want everything to comeback). I will try again going there next week.

But OCD can be very tricky. Today I woke up with one of my tooth paining and more sensible. Actually, it has been this way since I did a cavity filling in the begining of the year (sometimes better, sometimes worse). I went again to the dentist by that time and he said that I was removing the filling because I have bruxism and that was causing my tooth to pain. I've filled it again and decided to wait until my treatment with the braces finish, so that it could be corrected because my jaw would be in the correct position.

OCD is a crazy thing. I've started fantasizing that my exposed dentin could be a channel to my blood circulation and that I could be infected by eating something infected.  The little pain I feel never bothers me (the pain itself only happens sometimes and it is very small) but OCD can make it so huge.

I warn everyone reading this, that also suffer from OCD, that OCD is totally irrational, but for whoever is under its effect it looks so, so real.

I'll keep my treatment. I think it is the only way to go. I've already feeling so much better and I've suggested everyone who also suffer from OCD that seek professional help as soon as possible.

Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Still, try not to worry about it.  It would be a very, very long shot that your particular dentist on monitoring that site.  So take a deep breath and just tell him what you need and you know what, if he is not receptive to you then you can find someone else to take over your care.  But I really don't think you are going to be met with hostility.  It will all work out.  
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Avatar universal
I'm not worried about these posts, here in MedHelp. Actually I'm worried about other posts I did in a Brazilian blog, about dentists (on a biosecurity subject). I told there that my dentist was breaking those biosecurity rules (by touching things, like the doorknob, and not switching glooves after that). I've also told my history, my mail and my city, because at that time I was looking for another dentist, so that they could contact me. That's why I'm worried =p.

Nice your power came back =), I can't stand one single day without showering, hehe.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hang in there, I promise the posts will not be read by your doctor.  He probably does not even know about MedHelp.  I think it is a great place and I tell people about it, but in this case, just don't even mention it :)  I hope your days get better and better.  

My power just came on...I'm very, very happy...finally got a shower!  Take care.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
That is crazy. Where I live, in south of Brazil, we never have hurricanes or earthquakes, or snow =p. Actually, we do have winter here, and there are places around that snow sometimes (because of altitude) but not where I live. I hope everything comeback to normal as soon as possible =).

And yes, I'm feeling better today. I'm beeing able to work better also. Only the posts I did are still haunting me. I've never offended anyone, I've just said that I've considered what he have done a mistake. And I wrote in portuguese in a Brazilian blog. Not sure how many ppl see that blog because my post was the first on that subject...
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1699033 tn?1514113133
Sorry about your father-in-law...hopefully he will be healthy again soon.  

About the dentist, I promise you they are not on these forums.  I think you are doing the best thing.  Sit down with the dentist and discuss your fears.  Just come right out and say I have OCD and I worry about things that other people don't so can we please do things this way so that my anxiety stays in check.  I am sure they will be sympathetic to your needs.  And yes, your fears about what you posted on the dental forum are another irrational thought.  Part of OCD is second guessing everything we do and this is what you are doing.  It does seem that the meds are helping you some since you said "Today I'm feeling a little better."  

As far as the meds go, just get some clarification about what they were prescribed to do.  This is also not something to worry about but rather just a way to educate yourself as to what you are taking and why.  

I am in Maryland.  We had I think officially 7 inches of rain.  I still have no power since Saturday and I am running on a generator that we keep constantly going.  I have no running water but the generator gives me internet, tv and the fridge!  So better than nothing.   My boys were supposed to start the first day of school today...it was cancelled.  They are happy!  :)    After the earthquake and now the hurricane, I'm pretty much done with the environment wreaking havoc.  
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Avatar universal
I had to travel this weekend because my wife's father is hospitalized =(, so I couldn't post earlier. Fortunately he is getting better already and we believe he will be soon at home.

About my therapy, I'll try to meet the therapist this week, and among our talk ask those questions about the medications.

On wednesday I need to see the dentist. I realize now that, since I've already talked to him about my OCD, and he said he understands, I'll just ask him about everything that could make me anxious. I think this is a better approach than giving up of my treatment, since, like I've already said, I really need to correct my teeth and jaw.

Today I'm feeling a little better. There is only one thing that is still in my head. I'm afraid that my dentist could read some of posts I did in a dentist blog about those things I've talked already and relate that to me. I didn't say any name or told any lie, I was just asking questions. Is this just another irrational tought ?

By the way, where are you from? Is everything ok after the hurricane ? I saw on the news that NY is ok.

Best wishes.
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