Hello
I know it can be annoying replying to many posts to someone who goes on but i have a question to ask:
Does this sound like OCD or Anxiety or something else
Since around the age of 10 i suffered from thoughts of cars flying in to me, or cars on string (Odd i know) i was hit by a car a few years before and saw a plane crash at an airshow. The thoughts went eventually and popped up every now and then, this was okay to handle.
I heard a song which was an upbeat quick tempo song whilst on a car journey, since then i never liked the song and didn't like fast songs.
It went again, and the Cars and Planes never bothered me. When i was around 14 i suffered from them again for around 3 months.
I then a year later suffered from them again and found it hard at school, the thoughts were now different they were of things going fast say imagine - The sea going fast, cars going fast, people speaking fast ECT - and i had them constantly they caused me many hours of hardly anysleep and a few days of school, it caused me so much anxiety i got, hot and bothered i also shaked and was always scared for my future.
My mum, dad, auntie and Nan found out and eventually after a long period saw a counsiler for six 1 hour sessions.
She talked to me about it and i found it didnt help to much, we only practiced a few breathing techniques and talked even though she was nice.
I didnt really have a connection with her.
I had the thoughts on and off in long or short periods - Now they are mostly of traveling fast such as where i am spinning or being on like a fast ride - It's still very distressing. I told my girlfriend and i cried about it sadly which made her cry.
We are still together after over two years.
I find i still get them and have for around a few weeks, only my girlfriend knows i have them.
I find the thoughts can be constant and when there not I am either anxoius or depressed about them, i find myself isolation myself in my room, turning on my laptop and TV and sitting there. I search up about mental issues and OCD to calm me down and sometimes i cant sleep, like lately.
I have been back to the GP about a year ago one person said i will refer you if you dont feel better a month later, i went back then another doctor had to see me and said it's just a teenage thing.
I worry about my future and my carrer of being a Filmmaker, i think that i may be mad or depressed my whole life.
I find i will one minuet be Happy thinkign maybe i will be okay today then i get sad and depressed.
I could go to a lady in my local College who can help and has good contacts but I'm too sacred to go to her becuase when i feel okay i dont want to see her and when im bad i do want to.
I feel like if i bother my girlfriend too much i will upset her which did happen a few times with my Mum and Dad.
I have many friends and dont let them know about it.
It's worse on nights for me.
I no longer really worry about the cars or plane crash.
If you have read this THANK YOU, what do you think?
Callum