HIV scare / anxiety

[anxiouscanadian]

I am in the midst of a HIV scare. Over 7 weeks ago I stepped on a needle that broke the skin and caused bleeding. Long story short I have had many symptoms but fortunately at 5 weeks 3 days I got some bloodwork done (both rapid and blood drawn) they were both non reactive. These results are not yet conclusive but for sure gave me much comfort. Obviously my anxiety since the event has been threw the roof. As I was leaving the public health building with my results there was a woman coming in threw the doors towards me. I kinda had to wait a second because she was blocking the door. She was going threw her bags looking for something.  I couldnt see what she had, as I passed her all I could think was that she was there for the needle exhange program and instantly thought as I walked by her she poked / stabbed me with a needle. I dont remember feeling anything and tried checking my back when I got home. I tried letting it go figuring it couldnt of happened, but within a few days I got diarrhea and sore neck and back pain. After a week I was quite nausaus and I am not eating. I was wondering why my neck was so sore and realize I have a lump above my collor bone (lymph node) and i beleive some at back of my neck. I am really struggling with whether this is irrational thinking or it could of happened (especially in loo of my symptoms)

[JGF25]

You are right, we feel silly about the thoughts we have (and boy have I had some weird thoughts) but the reality is these thoughts make our lives miserable and no matter how silly we think they are, they are real, they cause us anxiety, and we need to learn to deal with them.  Trust me when I tell you that no psychologist is going to laugh at you when you walk in the door and tell them your scenario.  In fact, I will bet that they have already heard it before.  So find a good psychologist that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy and make an appointment.  You will not be sorry you did.  

[anxiouscanadian]

I truly appreciate your comments! I think after stepping on that needle initially I was somewhat traumatized by it on some level. I do actually have confidence in my 5 weeks results. I feel like I shouldnt be scared, but for some reason got the notion kn my mind that the lady leaving the lab could have / did stab me. Even as a read what I'm writing I know it sounds crazy and "impossible". All I can think is that the odds of me stepping on a needle in the first place were about the same, but that happened.....soooo.....I wanna get help for this but I feel so silly as to how even seeking help if all of this is just plain irrational thinking

[JGF25]

Hi there.  I'm just late in getting back to people's posts.  The reality is there is a fine line between HIV anxiety and OCD.  Also, excess worry can cause us to start to show "symptoms" of the disorder we are afraid we have.  Basically even the slightest sniffle is going to be attributed to HIV in your case.  Can you see a psychologist to help you learn coping strategies for this type of thinking?  Also just as an aside, if you actually stick yourself with an HIV tainted needle, the chance of becoming HIV positive are less than 1 percent.  It is not a very easy virus to get.  If it were like the flu virus, we would all have it.  As for stepping on the needle, you have to remember that two things need to happen.  First the needle has to have HIV blood in it and second it needs to get deep into the tissue and cause infection which as I pointed out only happens less than 1 percent of the time.  Just because there was a needle (i assume you mean't syringe??) doesn't mean you have anything.  The not eating, etc. is all coming from your rampant anxiety that is uncontrolled.  You need to get control of it by seeing a professional.  

[anxiouscanadian]

Sorry to post here if I wasnt suppose to. I have definetally suffered from ocd and after was initially took place 7 weeks ago have hiv anxiety