HOCD? OCD? Paranoia? Someone please help me.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always had some kind of compulsive fear. First it was trees blowing over, the pool in my backyard overflowing, and worst of all, throwing up. Some of these fears ended up putting me in hospital because the fear took control of me and I couldn't eat or drink anything for days. After I faced my last fear of vominting, I began to become afraid that I am a lesbian.

Ever since i was a tiny girl I've always loved boys, had major crushes on them, and not because i felt pressured to it was just my nature, and still is. As I was going through puberty, as im sure many people have experienced this also, but same-sex curiousity happened and fantasies and all that. But I never have and do not have any desire to be emotionally or sexually attached to a woman. It is very off-putting to me. I got over those fantasies and I am very sexually attracted to men, and have many fantasies about them and relationships with them, all of which are very fulfilling to me. Ive never had a crush on a girl, and I have all the tell-tale signs of a heterosexual woman; feminine nature, right handed, and have a femineine ratio of index-and-ring finger length on my right hand.

I am absolutely terrified that because i had those curiosities growing up, I will end up turning into a lesbian.
Is this possible if I have always ALWAYS felt more attracted and drawn to boys from the time I was little?

These thoughts are taking over my life; they never stop. I keep questioning, I keep testing myself, all the tell-tale signs of HOCD.

Am I a lesbian or just a hypocondriac?!

[Omusicgame]

Youre not a lesbian.  Youre just overobsessing, plus youre young.  Everybody has these thoughts.  And in your situation, its a choice.  Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.  Ive been where you have, and just because im a male, doesnt mean i dont understand.  I had hocd for about 2 3 4 years .  Trust me, itll wear off.  You'll look back and laugh at it.  

[fixieguybri]

Hey i am a 21 year old male, i have grown up loving women i can remember my first crush on leah jacobs in 5th grade. I have been through many relationships which were amazing with women. When i was 5 i didnt know was sex was or what gay was, and me and a friend use to sit in a bed naked saying we were having sex. We didnt know it was wrong. I say this because i suffer from HOCD, and the thought of this comes to mind every time i spike. I know i am not gay i have no desire to be in any type of relationship with a male. Its hard but what is worse is when i am with my girlfriend the thoughts come to mind and freak me out. we will be hooking up and then out of no where ill get the thought "oh i am gay" but if i even think about gay stuff ill get scared and sick feeling. I hate it, it is torture but you can get through this i feel i am slowly recovering!

[Princessdaniella]

You're are not a lesbian sweetheart. You do not need to fear this, it is only a "thought" and it is not going to come true. A lot of people have posted in this community forum about similar experiences it May help You to read stories from other people.
You will be fine