HOCD OR DENIAL???

[Redskinsfan4life]

For over 2 years, I have been experiencing intrusive gay thoughts. I am 18 years old and a senior in high school.  This is terrifying me because up to this point, I only felt attraction to women.  These thoughts are freaking me out.  Its like I will see a good looking guy and my mind will tell me "you want to kiss him" and I Know I dont.  From the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to sleep, these thoughts are in my head.  I am afraid to hang out with friends because I am afraid I will think something gay about them.  This is ruining my life.  I am seeking professional help.  My parents keep asking me whats wrong but I am afraid to tell them because I am afraid they will think I am gay.  I know deep down inside I am straight, but these thoughts and anxiety are freaking me out.  So, do you think this is HOCD OR DENIAL????

[Redskinsfan4life]

Thanks I will check them out.

[57Carol]

Be sure to especially review the chart on the last article site.

[57Carol]

http://www.steveseay.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation/Your avoidance is a compulsion. It is an attempt to neutralize the obsession, and it only reinforces it and makes it worse. Since you sound like you are willing to learn, here are more articles on this topic. It is a very common obsession.
Reading all these should keep you busy this weekend. (smile)

http://ocdintensive.com/2011/10/17/fear-of-being-gaylesbian/

http://www.anxiety-ocd.info/2008/11/sexual-obsessions-am-i-gay/

http://www.neuroticplanet.com/hocd.php

http://www.steveseay.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation/

http://www.brainphysics.com/hocd.php

http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=65:how-do-i-know-im-not-gay-homosexuality-obsessions&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64

http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131:how-do-i-know-im-not-really-gay-part-2&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64

http://maniacfire.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/dealing-with-homosexual-anxiety-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-hocd/

[JGF25]

The therapist is your best bet.  If you don't feel like you are getting the help you need, then you need to find a specialist in OCD.  There is no point wasting your time seeing someone who is not helping you.  The bottom line is we wall want to be "normal" again.  I can't make you normal.  The article was a very good explanation from a gay guy about HOCD.  Wasn't it eye opening that it works all ways?  gay people are afraid they will turn straight and vice versa.  I have had gay people post on here about that very thing.  Reread the article.  Better yet, print it out.  Highlight the important parts and when the thought comes into your head, pull out the article and read those highlighted areas.  It will remind you how powerful our minds are and that this is all a trick your mind is playing on you.  And most important, find a therapist you like and that is going to help you.  

[Redskinsfan4life]

I have read the article. It has helped me realize the difference.  However, These thoughts still continue.  The more I have them, the more I feel I am turning Gay.  I don't want to be gay. I Like girls but my mind keeps telling me I am gay and to just "come out" and accept it.  Before this started, I never would have thought in a million years I would think these thoughts.  I was confident with my sexual orientation.  I didnt know hocd could make you doubt something i felt I had control over. I am sick of all this anxiety.  I cant even watch certain movies because I dont want to think gay thoughts about certain actors. Any suggestions on how to ease the suffering? I have recently begun seeing a counselor.  However, he is not a ocd specialist so I dont know if he is qualified to help me with this particular issue.  I just want to go back to my normal life.  Hocd ***** (hopefully it is hocd). any help will be appreciated. Thanks for your time.

[JGF25]

I just read the article and i thought it was great!  

[57Carol]

Google the article, I'm Gay and You're Not. It is the best I have read for this concern, and I have read plenty. :)