I'm 13, for about two months i have had thoughts about being gay. They wont stop, i keep going on an HOCD website to make myself feel better. I have looked at gay porn and did not get an erection. When i look at gay porn , my thoughts tell me I like it. I have never been to a therapist, I do supercissus things all the time, they make me feel better about these thoughts. I have talked to my parents, they say its a part of growing up. When I think of these thoughts i get a wired gut feeling and become anxious. My stomach starts to feel hollow. The thoughts are like a switch. When I think about these thoughts, i start to find men attractive, if im not thinking about them. there not. I have talked to a gay man online before about my thoughts. He said he felt the same way which makes me very scared. Some nights i cry in bed for almost an hour because im scared of what will happen to me. If i masturbate about a man, i can get to the "climax". which makes it even worse. Some times its like a train going on a hilly moutain, the thoughts will be very bad one week, and then go back down, and then go back up. I have had thoughts of suicide but got rid of them by praying to god. I keep looking for answers about these thoughts but i can not tell if this is what gay people go though or not. Two more things i should add, i can not get rid of the thoughts unless i am doing something to distract myself, like playing a game or talking to someone. And i asked my parents to take me to a therapist , they said these thoughts are a stage , and will go away. They told me that two weeks ago.
IMHO there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with being gay. You are young and probably "experimenting" with your sexuality. There are a lot of myths about gays. Being gay does not mean you are not a real man. Do a google and look for the studies which found that gay men are less likely to be pedophiles or child molesters. I've never heard of gays engaging in "straight bashing" but I have heard of "gay bashing". The myth that gays introduced AIDS into North America is another myth.
I doubt many will agree with me but I don't see anything wrong with being gay. If my sons were gay, it wouldn't bother me. Better gay than a drug taker/drug dealer.
My Father is homosexual and he is the best guy ever! I recently took a course on homosexuality and found that there are many many animals that engage in homosexual behavior/sex. It is a natural thing. Although as for you have you had these thoughts since you can remember or have you had them just recently because I know that when somebody is gay they have gay thoughts as early as the age of 4. Most gays know they are gay as soon as they can when they are very very young they just don't have a name for what they are.Gay. If these thoughts have just recently come up it could just be a phase. I was in that phase at your age. I find women attrative, im a women, and I find men emotionally attractive.
Although you may think that it is wrong to have these thoughts it isn't at all.
God is a just god and he made all of us and he loves us no matter what, who we have a sexual relationships with is probably the last thing on his mind. Going to a professional may help you feel better or even going to a GLBT meeting may do you some good. (Gays, Lesbians,Bisexual, and transsexuals) Google it. Being gay is a natural thing. Enjoy it and embrace it.
You may be, like me, a man who has sex with men. I like girls as a relationship and 8 times out of 10, I feel pretty good about breasts and the female gentalia (I don't know how censored this site is). But I also have a good time making love to other guys. It's not that I -love- guys in a gay way, I just enjoy the action. It's about what feels right. America, and most countries on Earth, have prejudice towards them so it seems "wrong" to like male bodies if you're male also. It feels good even if you are straight. Think about who you LOVE. not with whom you want to have sex. Think about it as kind of a part-time bisexual. only the gay part is physical and not emotional. As you can tell, it's hard to explain but sex is just another action. It doesn't define you.
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