I'm 23 years old, and late in Feb. I've been kind of stressing about the intrusive thoughts I'd get into my head, it was nothing sexual or emotional, it was just more of admiring people for their good looks. I have always wanted to be ripped and muscular, so when I ever I saw someone with a ripped chest or a good six pack I'd stare at their muscles but not in a sexual way, that's been going on since I was a little younger back in my highschool football days. I've never thought anything of it, infact I've always been attracted to women, sexually, but I could never understand why I was attracted to muscular bodies, I've always felt masculine, never had any feminine moments I can think of, never desired to be with a man let alone sleep with one, I've just always had close relationships with my boys. But as of recently I've been scared ******** because I was thinking damn, I'm turning gay, I have a lot of female freinds so that means I'm gay because that's typical in gay men, so I lost a little sexual desire in my gf due to anxities which scared me even more, and I was even more anxies because I even stared at guys bodies. The more I became afraid of my fears, the more my pain grew, and I started thinking damn it this is why my relationships never last over a year, but in reality I was a player and at times got tired of my sexual partner so I always end up letting them go, so that played a role in my fear because I started to think OH NO IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE HER ANYMORE, I JUST THINK I'M GAY, so that put even more pain in my life. Then while I was battling these intrusive thoughts, one day I was with my business partner and I caught my self with an intrusive thought telling me to kiss him on the lips, which I was very disgusted by it because I'm not into men, I just wanted to bang my head on the wall for thinking that but hey we can't control what we think sometimes, I knew I wasn't into men but sometimes your mind tells you to do stuff that are very unlike you. So as I was going through my journey, instead of going to therapist I began doing my own research and reading stories of others that are going through this just like me, and I followed up after psychologist from the web, I came to find out about my disorder, and everything that I've been going through is described, and I read other individuals stories who were much worse then mine and who weren't gay, in reality it happened to be fears of unrealistic events that wouldn't happen that scare us into isolation and loneliness, the problem with our society these days,therapist tell people to accept themselves for who they are as far as sexuality and more then half of the time that's not who they are, they are just looking for answers, and I think we don't address this properly, and that's why I thought that admiring another man for his looks is gay at the begining, I think that's where a lot of it starts, when a man admires a man or a woman admire another woman, we tend to say it is of lesbian and homosexual thougths or being a homosexual and that's why we thought of it, but in reality, admiring looks is just like admiring a good looking car, a home, an animal, our society is just too scared to man up to it. I have been doing some self therapy, I didn't want to rely on medicine, I'm relying on therapy and my girlfreind is totaly supporting me because she knows me deep down inside. What's your take on this folks?