Hiv ocd

[Hopeforlight]

My ocd about hiv started when i went to massage parlour and got happy ending massage...6 weeks after that incident i tested for hiv and the result was negative...i felt a bit relieved. Then 1 week after that incident i went for foot reflexiology for a relaxed massage coz previous body massage scared me of contracted hiv so i changed to foot reflexology that made me so calm and relaxed..after the massage i noticed i had small cut that was still bleeding and I started imagine if i would get hiv from the open wound...i was so scared and couldn't sleep for a week..the scared feeling really is something unspeakable and my body trembled so hard...and i began to search information through internet like crazy person just for reassurance..2 weeks after that i purchased a sex toy from online shop and i washed it before using it and after used it my mind started playing trick against me what if i didn't wash it cleanly...and i felt scare again...this kind of thought and anxiety really is hard for me....really hope for help here...sorry for my bad english coz it's not my daily language..

[Hopeforlight]

I go to happy ending massage again and this time i already chose to fight the fear...if i dont fight this mental illness than it might ruins my future....i have been suffering this ocd since i was kid...stomach problem and chronic fatigue is my misery everyday...fighting ocd with exposure to what you fear is the best medicine...i suffered many types of ocd...not curing this disease will sure ruin my future..i have read many stories about ocd ruins people marriage etc...so fighting it with exposure sure will cure it...im 100% sure about what i was doing

[specialmom]

Honestly, the happy endings are that necessary to your life? lol I have never heard of happy ending massages as part of therapy in fighting one's anxiety fear.  But to each their own. If this is a necessary part of your life, then go for it.  I don't think anyone here will be able to help you though if you continue to complain of HIV phobia.  You are kind of throwing yourself into the fire with that by participating in seedy behavior. And what WILL ruin a good relationship is by continuing along the path of needing the happy ending massage.

What cures ocd?  A psychiatrist and psychologist for medication and therapy.   good luck

[Hopeforlight]

Im trying to fight this ocd thought...but it's really hard...the fear is killing me...other people can go to have happy ending massage without fear...but for ocd sufferer is a hell..it looks like i can feel hiv everywhere..

[specialmom]

So, in all sincerity, if going for a happy ending massage is a trigger, don't do it.  It's REALLY that simple.  Get a girlfriend or guyfriend and enjoy a sex life in a monogamous relationship.  Having a happy ending massage that ends in your ocd HIV phobia fears . . .  um.  Really, cut out the trigger.  Wouldn't you tell someone who was punching themselves in the head and complaining it hurt to stop punching themselves in the head?  

[specialmom]

You know, this is a forum for obsessive compulsive disorder so I will stick to that.  You are posting here so must realize your fear is irrational.  What do you do to treat the ocd?  It's a disorder/illness like any other.  You'd treat the hiv if you had it, right?  So, take your ocd seriously and get help!  A psychiatrist would be important, psychologist and possibly medication. No reason to live this way with irrational fear.  Also, a good dose of education on HIV would help you.  You can't get HIV from anything you describe.  In my reading, HIV is passed from person to person when they have unprotected intercourse, either vaginal or anal or if they share drugs using IV needles.  Moms can pass it to their babies through breast milk (doesn't happen with adults).  All the other ways you propose are not even risks for HIV.  See a doctor for your ocd!

[Hussamjasimnn]

Do you have certain symptoms that you think are related to the virus?

[Hopeforlight]

No symptoms....but worsen asthma...i never care about symptoms, and only scared of infected...but i feel a lot better... exercise does help to reduce anxiety