Okay this is gonna be long i hope someone reads and helps me out. I'll summarise everything so you can understand the background of whats happening. Ever since the beginning of this year i started having really bad anxiety and obsessive fears with different things, such a death, the world, god , my breathing and my personality. It sounds really confusing but once i get rid of one another obsession comes along. Right now its my sexuality.. I am a girl and throughout my entire life i've 100% straight, i've never imagined myself with a girl in any way. Ive had many crushes on guys and right now i'm dating a guy that i've crushed on for a long time. We've been together for 4 days now and I like him so much.. Anyway i'm not against gays or bi's, but i'd never expect myself to be one just because it doesn't connect with me, its not really for me and i cant imagine myself in that kind situation. Two days ago i had a dream about one of my girl friends and i felt sort of aroused in the dream as we hugged, after that i was my normal self again. After two hours of waking up i remembered that dream and it triggered some kind of fear, I started to question my sexuality and i've been avoiding my girl friends as much and possibly, also avoided going out so i don't find any girls i might like? For me when i think about myself with a girl in that way it makes me slightly uncomfortable and makes me feel as if thats truly not me and can never be. Yesterday I was really worried about starting to like girls, and no not because of what others think its more because of in my head i cant be that person and its just so wrong for me. I'm not against it, i just cant be like that, its definitely not who i am. I searched up about this to see if anyone was going through the same kind of fear as me and maybe going through the phase of questioning their sexuality. When i read about something called hocd i found relief because deep down i knew i couldn't be so suddenly because of a dream. But now whenever i look at girls i feel really weird. Just because i don't know how i fell towards them. I don't know if i'm creating these foreign feelings for myself because whenever i'm not thinking about it i seem to get along just fine and think about my boyfriend. At some points i feel so over whelmed because of how far the thinking has went, it drives me crazy and i feel like literally dying. Half of my brain says you're definitely not bi and the other half says (anixety side) "what if you are?" "you don't know" "you like girls but you don't wanna admit it" right when these thoughts start to kick in, i become super sad and feel as if i'm about to cry because i don't want them. I hope this end soon, i've always liked guys why am i questioning now? The dream didn't really do anything but make me wonder if i'm actually bi. I've thought about it so much that im starting to convince myself i might be, even though a part of me knows i'm not. It just scares and worries the hell out of me. I can never imagine myself with a girl like dating. Its unpleasant to think about, yesterday i said the same about kissing girls but now i feel like its not as unpleasant and right as i said that my heart started beating so fast. Whenever i see a girl with nice legs or a pretty girl i'm like wow she's hot, but right when i say that i get this really bad feeling of fear. It scares me so much i just wanna be the same as i was two days ago!