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Hocd in need of urgent help

Ive been suffering from hocd for over a year and half now, i hope this is ocd , my whole life i thought i was straight and i always had crushes on girls and thought of them sexually and romantically , my whole life was fine up until november 2014 when i was during a sport session at school and my voice cracked randomly and i had a thought in my head , " what if im turning gay" i had the biggest panic attack and from then on I've developed severe ocd, ive had so many different types of obsessions that have caused me so much anxiety and depression, none of this even means anything towards my hocd anymore, i feel so gay and i feel like my whole life was just a lie, ive been seeing a naturopath and a psychologist for a while now and they have helped me out alot, but i always end up doing circles and crashing back down again, my mind doesnt let me believe anything anyone tells me anymore i just doubt everything. Whats been bothering the most lately is ive always what i hope is admiration for goodlooking or cool guys when i was a kid and also in my early teens, this has been making me feel like i am gay and its driving me insane , my naturpath told me its normal to even like other boys as a child but i just dont believe or accept that , i dont want to like guys at all, someone please help me.
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Avatar universal
Thankyou so much !
Helpful - 0
9784446 tn?1421337046
In ocd basically the things which make you panic or anxious, you need to get more and more exposure of these things ,this is called exposure and response prevention therapy, so if all those thoughts  which embarrass you , you need to think of them again and again, all those things which remind of you those thoughts like his songs, videos you need to get exposure of all those things , at first your anxiety will shoot up but then with time it will come down and you will feel better then.
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Avatar universal
The only thing thats freaking me out right now (yes,this is embarrassing) when i was in about in year 5 i really liked justin beiber , not like a girl crazy thing, i used to watch his videos on youtube, i used to think of me and him as mates and we used to hang out and stuff in my imagination, when i used to watch his video clips i had this feelings i dont know what they were but i keep thinking i had a crush on him and its freaking me out
Helpful - 0
9784446 tn?1421337046
its good that u are going to see a psychiatrist and continue your therapy sessions, you will learn how to do therapy and in future you can do it on your own, because ocd is something which cannot be cured but can be maintained
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im not taking any ocd meds but i have taken anti depressants for anxiety but im not on them anymore, i have done cbt but only for like 2 sessions, im seeig a psychiatrist in a couple days
Helpful - 0
9784446 tn?1421337046
you are seeing a psychologist, are you receiving cognitive behavior therapy from him? if not ask for cognitive behavior therapy. Have you  taken medicines for ocd, i think you must consult a psychiatrist for medication,it will help you
Helpful - 0
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