Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
Hocd
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This community is an un-mediated, community for questions and support regarding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issues such as: causes, check locks, check stoves, clean things, count items, dirt, doubt, drugs and medications, family and relationship issues, fear of forgetting, fear that a mistake will harm a loved one, financial issues, germs, horrific images, OCD research , order things, perform rituals, repugnant images, repugnant religious thoughts, repugnant sexual thoughts, , shower, symmetry, symptoms, touch things, treatment, violent images, wash hands

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Hocd

So ok im a teenager 16 y/o girl  i had some child experiments which made me have guilt I developed girl crushes on celibrities and my ex bff I didnt even once stare ather body I just loved to hug her because it seemed like my crush' hehe i never fanasized about kissing her nor anything more ...
People started teasing me and i brushed it off that time i didnt know what bi means but when i knew at this summer i felt anxious PS i had official counting pedophilia harming counting killing religous stuff ocd and never went to a therapist then i didnt know that its an ocd i began searching and testing myself I never thought about being bi nor lesbo before but now it seams so real and with time i began feeling less anxious and now im feeling the real anxiety becasue i didnt get anxious i tested myself with my crush looking at him gives me buterflies now pits of anxiety when my friend found about my self harm problem infreaked oit and thought about that it may butterflies i never thought about kissing nor having sex with them but now the ocd is takin over me and i dont know how infeel anymore having the thoughts is just tiring me i dont feel comfortable wearing my clothes anymore im not comforttable with my friends anymore i attempt to suicide for many reasons hocd is the biggest when i found out about groinal response and some articles amd that there is no gay denial i felt soo relieved but still i have those intrusive thoughts about every pretty girl please help me give me your opinions about my friend in the top thank you very much !!!!!
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Even in past before having my period my friend said how about we get into a chatting website and trick girls by disguising as guys i did it and at first it was funny then it got worse i chose to have a boy account ... I didnt know anything about sex like i thought kisses were sex .... So once a girl talked dirty to me i was curious about those stuff i admit before puberty i did sex talk even after getting my first period i learnt about sex from girls their bc i didnt know anything about it bc every one wont br my friend because im very innocent i ******* regretting it now ;actually i got turned on by the thought that another boy talking dirty not me ; it didnt affect my life nor made me doubt my sexuality once i didnt imagines myself having sex with a girl i hated lesbo bi gays before to be honest PLEAS someone help me and tell me what was all of this ps i dont wanna do that actually i didnt do it with a boy becauss before i did it with a guy and mom confrontd me pleeeaaaassseee help im paranoid



Is this experimnt or teenage life beginning it ???????????
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Hi there.  Sorry...I am really the only one answering questions and cannot get on here as much as I would like some days.  

So the first thing I see is that you wrote "i had official counting pedophilia harming counting killing religous stuff ocd and never went to a therapist then i didnt know that its an ocd."  So I have to ask, have you been to a therapist since or a counselor or have internet searches led you to believe you have OCD?  

I obviously cannot diagnose you but just seeing that statement made me think you could indeed have OCD which in turn leads me to believe that this thought about possibly being atracted to the same sex is just another irrational thought.  People believe different things but my take on whether we are gay or not is based in our genetics.  We are born gay, bi or straight.  I'm not saying that gay people haven't ever dated the opposite sex because they do sometimes but that doesn't mean they don't know they are gay.  Maybe they don't want to be but deep down inside they know that the opposite sex just does not fulfill their needs.  

So ask yourself this.  If you said right now out loud "I'm gay and I like girls" would you then want to run out and find a girlfriend and do all the things associated with having a girlfriend?  If the answer is no, then how could you possibly be gay.  

Obviously you are struggling and the best thing for you to do is ask your parents to make an appointment with a psychologist for you.  If that is not an immediate option, then perhaps a school counselor could help you as well.  OCD does not go away.  What we do is we develop coping strategies as we go along which is what you must have done before if the self harm, etc have stopped.  As we get older, there is more and more stress placed on us and stress brings out irrational thinking for a person suffering from OCD.  This is the time to get the help you need because soon you will be off to university and more stress and it is best to learn to deal with these things now rather than later.  Trust me...I went through university with a whole heaping plate of irrational thoughts.  

In short, based on what you have written, I do not think you are gay or bi but rather someone suffering from irrational thinking. And just so you know, I don't care if somebody is gay or bi.  It makes no difference to me how people live their lives because it is their life to live so I am not saying you are not based on some sort of homophobic issue.  Let me know how it is going for you.

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Thank you so much but testing myself whether i want or not is blurry even though at the beggining of the ocd I'd always answer it as NO can you read my comment under i wanna know what is it like ive been through another anxiety attack 2 hours before Itd be helping me so much
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Read my post "Anatomy of a Horrific Thought in Pure O" and you will see why testing just makes things worse.  I will bump it up to the top of the forum.  You need to adopt the "whatever" attitude.  This helps you to take the fear out of the thought.  

When you have an anxiety attack do this breathing technique.  Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for five seconds and count this out in your head, then let it all out through your mouth.  It is good to practice laying down with your hands on your stomach but you can actually do this controlled breathing in any situation and nobody will even know you are doing it.  It helps get rid of the panic because more than likely you are hyperventilating when you panic (you can hyperventilate without realizing it).  
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