I don't have typical compulsions- can I still fix my OCD?
Looking for any advice I can get- I have very bad OCD and I used to have awful compulsions, usually the typical stuff like hand washing. After CBT that stopped, and I am no longer afraid of public toilet seats and whatnot. However I am now obsessed with hepatitis C and while I no longer obsessively hand-wash or count to certain numbers like I used to, I just think about hep c ALL DAY and think about all the times in my life when I might have gotten it from a mani-pedi or dentist. I would get tested, but due to the common nature of false positives, and my old therapist telling me it's unwise at the moment, I'm going to lay off for the mean time. If I get tested for this I will probably start obsessing over a different disease.
My main fear is that my boyfriend will leave me if I have hep c, even though he has said he wouldn't numerous times. My question is, what can I actually do to self-therapize, if I don't really have compulsions other than asking and googling? Should I just stop vocalizing my anxiety, and instead keep it to myself while distracting myself? It was easier to self-treat when I had a hand washing problem. Has anyone overcome this type of anxiety before? Thanks!
I have never really had compulsions so I can't relate well to that aspect of OCD. I have the irrational thinking problem. I don't know if one is harder to get a handle on than the other but I will say that CBT does help me with the irrational thinking so I think you just need to learn the tools to help with this part of OCD. For instance replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, replacing irrational thinking with positive statements of fact and getting rid of the fiction in our lives. I agree that if you start testing you will be opening up a can of worms because then you are giving into the irrational thinking when what you really should be doing is saying "whatever" and moving on. That is the key in my opinion. And you are right, if it isn't Hep C it will be something else and that is why you have to learn to be able to say "whatever" when these stupid thoughts pop into your head. Trust me, I have thought up some really dumb stuff over the years and really, right now on meds and using my CBT, I'm doing very well. If you can beat one aspect, you can definitely beat the other. Take care of you!
Thanks! Meds for me are a last resort but if all else fails I will have to go back on them. For now I'm trying those "4 steps" and I've had 2 good days with that *knock wood* but I still notice bad anxiety in the mornings. Not so much at night, luckily.
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