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I think I have hocd/ I think I'm gay/bi
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I think I have hocd/ I think I'm gay/bi

Hello I'm a 15 year old boy and I'm having a real tough time I'm not 100% sure I have OCD but I can remember that my stuff would have to be in a certain way in my room so since I was young boy I can remember I was always into girls I fantasised and felt emotionally and sexually attracted to them and there was no thought that crossed my mind I was gay I started masterbating (masturbating) at a young age (around 9) and it would be over like nude chat shows on tv and stuff like that once I found porn I couldn't stop masterbating (masturbating) over straight and lesbian porn once I entered secoundry school I had a massive crush on this girl and couldn't stop thinking about her I also remember being very jealous when she got a boyfriend it all started when I entered year 9 a girl had asked me out (I had liked her) and I did but I was extremely shy around her in school and so I felt so shy around her I broke up with her and then she tiled a lot of people the reason why dumped her was because I was gay this made my life hell I lost so many mates but got over it .then after a while I started to question If I really was gay ? I started to test myself by watching gay porn which didn't arouse me (even when I tried to masterbate) then I'd watch lesbian porn and be aroused this would stop me obsessing for a while but it came back so I started looking and asking on yahoo awnsers they all gave me awnsers like your probably gay/bi this made me doubt myself even more this is making me stressed and I hardly go out on the weekends incase I see a man and have sexual thoughts i try to have gay thoughts but they don't feel I'm also having grounal responses why is this happening ! I don't want to be with a man also I've been having gay dreams not about me but about other people I wake up feeling more depressed but not aroused is there a reason why I'm like this ? I play rugby and when I've made contact with males I don't feel aroused but my minds telling me I am I have also seen my friends penises before and not been aroused and just laughed what shall I do ?
Tags: hocd
3 Comments Post a Comment
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1699033_tn?1345482688
Hi there...sorry for the delay.  Don't pay attention to the yahoo forums because you are not talking to people that have OCD and it sounds like you have had other OCDish things going on in your life that would warrant this to be just an irrational thought.  And of course couple that with the fact that you have always liked girls and I'm not seeing how you could be gay at all.  

We don't wake up one day and become gay.  We are born gay or we are not in my opinion.  Here is a link to a good article by a guy his has OCD and is gay and I think it will help you tremendously.  

http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php

I found it to be very interesting.  Give it a read over and then let me know what you think.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Yeah I've read that before I also remember when I was young I would have irrational thoughts about dying  like how I would die and when it would happen also when my dad was younger if he was feeling a certain way he would walk on the white lines of a road so is this OCD ?
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Avatar_f_tn
you need therapy from a trained professional who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Can you tell your parents that you need this help, and then have them check on the international obsessive compulsive website to find someone who can help you in your area?
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