I think I have hocd but not sure

[Tom10223]

Hi, 23 and  I think I have hocd because I think about being gay non stop...but I have no feeling to being gay. When I was like 13 my friend kissed me and it made me feel sick. And then around a year later I started expirimenting with girls which I loved everything about. being around them how soft they are, the way they smell everything I loved! Then I started dating and lost my virginity to girl at 15 and ever since then I have been having sex with girls, dating girls etc..  But 18 months ago I was dating a girl who was a nympho and demanded sex all the time (like 5-6 times a night) I like sex as much as the next guy but not that much. And we ended up splitting up. Then I questioned then am I gay? And the thought was rediculous. So then I had a couple girls in like 6 months and then went very quiet on the sex scene. And this next part will sound stupid. I was watching a program about 1month ago and it was about people coming out. And I thought what of Im gay? And the thoughts have been there ever since. I have nothing wrong with being gay but I don't fancy men. It don't make me feel sick or anything I'm just not attracted to them. But now I worry about looking at guys incase I think theyre good looking.

Could someone please give me some advice I would really Appeiciate it
Thanks
Tom

[Tom10223]

Hi, well I've spoken to my mother about it(she works in medical field) and she's going to put me in contact with a counsellor/therapist. So we can stop it before it gets bad.

I really Appeiciate the help that you guys have gave me. I will keep you updated with my progress

[Tom10223]

Thanks again for the reply. I'm happy that i should be able to have a relationship. You saying that about overanalysing it, I think I done that in one serious relationship I had when I was 18-19. Obviously I didn't last.
But since posting on here yesterday I do feel alot better, and I have been using then couple techniques well so far. If it gets worse ill seek professional help.

Thanks again.

[JGF25]

LOL...yes I know what you meant.  Absolutely its possible to have a relationship with a girl.  What you cannot do is sit there overanalyzing everything about that relationship. The most important thing to remember is that if it is bothering you on a daily basis to the point where you cannot lead a normal life, then it is time to seek a psychologist's help.  Doesn't mean your crazy just means you have a tendency toward OCD and you need professional help to get past this one.  

[Tom10223]

Possible to have a reletionship with a girl if you have it is what I meant to say lol

[Tom10223]

Hi, thanks for your replies and I really appriciate the comments. I personally feel alot better since I posted I know it probably won't clear it up but it's step forward right?
I looked a some gay pictures and it didnt do anything for me. So I'm really confused. I will try your jgf. Is it possible to have a reletionship with a girl with hodc

[JGF25]

Here is the link and it is at the bottom by accountcreated

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-OCD-/Hocd-gay-in-denialhelp-please-/show/1508056

Also, do not torture yourself by watching gay porn.  That is the worst thing to do because you are giving in to the testing and it is just going to make things worse so I completely do not agree with Amber.  I appreciate her response and it is always good to get other people's opinions but in this case, I think it will make the situation worse.  Others have done this and it just perpetuates the irrational thought process.  

[JGF25]

I welcome you to the OCD forum and I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering from HOCD like so many others.  Like many OCD irrational thoughts there is usually some sort of trigger in our past and for you I'm sure it was your friend kissing you.  

I don't think for a second that you are gay, also not that there is anything wrong with being gay.  The problem with these irrational thoughts is that when you fight them, test yourself, etc. they just don't go away.  You end up in this cycle of testing yourself and it literally drive you nuts.  It then starts to encompass your entire day.  

Normally when we look at the same sex it is a kind of comparison.  So if I notice a pretty girl it is because I'm comparing myself to her.  But when you do that now, boom, thoughts about possibly being gay show up.  You have to learn to let them go.

There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that is very useful for irrational thoughts.  There are psychologists that specialize in teaching their patients CBT.  Basically you would replace negative thoughts with positive ones either in your mind or on paper.  So for instance, "That guy is good looking, damn  what if I'm gay?" would be replace with "I am not gay, I have always liked women and I always will."  You can visualize a red handle and mentally pull it toward you and say "STOP" outloud or in your head when these thoughts pop up.  It is all about stopping them before they take on a life of their own.  I know it sounds like a lot of work but you can get past this.  

In my own world of OCD I too had this irrational thought and I was married at the time.  I used my CBT that I had learned from my psychologist and I was able to move on to other stupid thoughts unfortunately.  

So the bottom line is you can try CBT by yourself (what I have mentioned are only two things in a plethora of techniques) or you can make an appointment with a psychologist, get officially diagnosed with HOCD, and learn the techniques that way.  Talk therapy goes a long way as well.  

There is a person who wrote on the OCD forum with the same problem and I loved what he had to say.  I'm going to send you that link as a new post.  

[AmberNikole101]

I think you should maybe experiment or give it some time. If you dont think that experimenting is the right thing for you to do,, Then this might sound a little silly... But watch some adult films with gay couples and see if that turns you on or could see yourself doing that, All in all you should figure it out with in time,
PS that how i found out if i could be a lesbian hahaa