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I'd like some help, please.
by tehpwnz0r, Jul 27, 2009 08:55PM
First off, there are cliffs at the bottom for those who don't want to read a wall of text.
I'm an 18 year old guy that lives with his family, and I've had mysophobia--with OCD as the root cause, I believe--for about ten years now. It doesn't prevent me from living my life, such as distracting me from completing homework and attending school and such, but it does hamper the quality of my life.
It comes and goes in cycles, and at some points in the last ten years I felt completely normal. For the past eight months, however, my problem has been at its worst. Eight months ago, I was cleaning my bathroom--a bathroom that normally only I use, to my knowledge--because some extended family was coming to my house. I am a fairly clean person because of my problem and thus there wasn't much to clean, except for a series of stains that were on the toilet bowl beneath the seat. I just dismissed them as **** or whatever that I'd probably made when going without the lights on. So, I wiped them up and went about my business.
However, a few minutes later I started wondering if someone had sneaked into my bathroom and ejaculated all over my toilet. It's a very silly thought, I know, and a pretty big assumption, but I couldn't help the thought. I found out that some workers had been over earlier in the week doing some maintenance work on the water system, and I began wondering if one of them had had the urge to desecrate my bathroom.
Logically, the odds of this occurring are about zero. First, my bathroom is on the second floor, and the workers were in the basement. The only reason I think someone would use my bathroom is because I'm cynical and generally believe the worst in others.
Second, even if they did use my bathroom, it's highly unlikely that they would use it to masturbate.
Third, the workers came several days before I discovered the stains, and thus I wonder why I didn't notice them until later.
Fourth, even if someone did **** all over my toilet, it would be highly improbable for it to be infectious or detrimental to my health, despite being exceedingly disgusting.
When I look at these reasons, I can see how irrational my fear is, but for some reason I can't stop it. I always think, "What if? Improbability doesn't mean impossibility." Now, I've been avoiding my bathroom, thinking it to be contaminated. I also avoid a lot of objects in my home, thinking they are also contaminated, from my shorts touching the stains and then touching things in the house, and so on. I therefore wash my hands and such an unhealthy number of times, as whenever I touch basically anything, I obsess about the possibility of semen or something being on my hands and then feel the compulsion to wash them.
So, I'm at an impasse. No matter how objectively I look at the situation, I can't dissuade my fear. I'd feel a little too embarrassed bringing this up with family, so I'm asking here. Advice?
Cliffs:
-18 year old guy suffering from OCD and phobia
-Think someone jizzed on my toilet
-Knows that it's highly unlikely
-Can't get rid of fear
-Asking for advice here
I'm an 18 year old guy that lives with his family, and I've had mysophobia--with OCD as the root cause, I believe--for about ten years now. It doesn't prevent me from living my life, such as distracting me from completing homework and attending school and such, but it does hamper the quality of my life.
It comes and goes in cycles, and at some points in the last ten years I felt completely normal. For the past eight months, however, my problem has been at its worst. Eight months ago, I was cleaning my bathroom--a bathroom that normally only I use, to my knowledge--because some extended family was coming to my house. I am a fairly clean person because of my problem and thus there wasn't much to clean, except for a series of stains that were on the toilet bowl beneath the seat. I just dismissed them as **** or whatever that I'd probably made when going without the lights on. So, I wiped them up and went about my business.
However, a few minutes later I started wondering if someone had sneaked into my bathroom and ejaculated all over my toilet. It's a very silly thought, I know, and a pretty big assumption, but I couldn't help the thought. I found out that some workers had been over earlier in the week doing some maintenance work on the water system, and I began wondering if one of them had had the urge to desecrate my bathroom.
Logically, the odds of this occurring are about zero. First, my bathroom is on the second floor, and the workers were in the basement. The only reason I think someone would use my bathroom is because I'm cynical and generally believe the worst in others.
Second, even if they did use my bathroom, it's highly unlikely that they would use it to masturbate.
Third, the workers came several days before I discovered the stains, and thus I wonder why I didn't notice them until later.
Fourth, even if someone did **** all over my toilet, it would be highly improbable for it to be infectious or detrimental to my health, despite being exceedingly disgusting.
When I look at these reasons, I can see how irrational my fear is, but for some reason I can't stop it. I always think, "What if? Improbability doesn't mean impossibility." Now, I've been avoiding my bathroom, thinking it to be contaminated. I also avoid a lot of objects in my home, thinking they are also contaminated, from my shorts touching the stains and then touching things in the house, and so on. I therefore wash my hands and such an unhealthy number of times, as whenever I touch basically anything, I obsess about the possibility of semen or something being on my hands and then feel the compulsion to wash them.
So, I'm at an impasse. No matter how objectively I look at the situation, I can't dissuade my fear. I'd feel a little too embarrassed bringing this up with family, so I'm asking here. Advice?
Cliffs:
-18 year old guy suffering from OCD and phobia
-Think someone jizzed on my toilet
-Knows that it's highly unlikely
-Can't get rid of fear
-Asking for advice here
Member Comments (1)
by tehpwnz0r, Jul 27, 2009 09:17PM
I don't know if you can edit these posts, so I'd just like to state that the two censored words stand for urine and ejaculate, respectively.
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