I just went over my Brother's for a bbq last week, and ever since that day, I have been obsessing over my Sister In Law. She always says things to put me down, or my mom or my sister. While some people were given the gift of being able to play music, or paint nice pictures, my sister in law was given the gift to have a quick wit and put people Down who she doesn't seem are at her level. She said something that of course pissed me off, and my sister even said that she said something rude to her. God forbid I say something rude to her, she would flip out, and I'd hurt her bad, and I wouldn't want her kids seeing that. But she's been constantly in my head. I guess this is a form of OCD. I've even screamed in the car, GET OUT OF MY HEAD, but still she stays. Because I know she'll come back, and I know that at every get together I gotta see her. Uggghhh, its mentally draining. I just had a baby boy too, whos almost 2 months old and I think about her more sometimes more than I think of him. Is the Lunacy or what?? Is this Insanity, Maybe.. I mean I see her maybe 3 times a year at most, and all I do is worry what she thinks. I worry about if I'm good enough. Am I good enough? Wow, I cant believe everything that I do now is set to her approval. I've been doing therapy on myself and maybe it's because for many years I've always needed her and my brother's approval. Maybe in my eyes, that's what Success is, and maybe that's what Im trying to reach. Maybe, it's because she has disrespected me so much that worrying about my ego is more important than anything else. Maybe thats It!!!! Maybe she's deflated my ego so much, maybe because shes disrespected my whole family. Damn, sometimes I wish my brother could just put her in Check. I dont know, but this is just getting out of hand. I just wish I could focus on the more important things in Life. Is my job not good enough? Am I not good enough? How do I get her out????