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I'm so miserable help plz

Heres my story it's a little long but bare with me plz and help me before i hurt myself

One of my best mates was leaving Australia for 2 years so we decided to go out for some clubs when the last call came ive had a couple of yagerbombs I had a thought to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and say goodbye but then I thought wow that's abit gay and I panicked I went to bed and when I woke up thinking why would I think that so I asked my mum what if I'm gay she said if u r that's fine your not tho do I asked my sister she do u watch porn and like it I said yes and she said there's your answer everywhere I would walk I'd get disturbing images and I'd start lookin at guys crotches to see if I get hard and then naked guy pics then I went to the coast and reassurance came I started askin people if they think I'm gay or bi then I went to the dr and told her stuff she said anxiety and gave me pills so I started takin em then I looked up random thoughts and found OCD and stuff do I went back and told her I think I got OCD I told her gay things give me anxiety a gay walked into my store and I avoided him like he had the plague she said sounds like OCD and she told my mum I know gays and he isn't gay so now I've been doing erp and cbt it went away for a week and now it's back I've only had 3 gay thoughts/urges in years gap in locker rooms I don't get erect gays kissin didn't get me horny I've had 3 gfs and lost my virginity to em but now it's come back it's saying I'm lying to myself and what if the 3 thoughts meant something I dont know what to think nemore
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Avatar universal
Hey -- bieng gay myself it was nothing I ever stressed over. It's a decision you come to very easily. Don't worry about it -- you're not gay. Best of luck.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Continue with your therapy and medication.  Most people that are gay realize it very early on in life.  
Helpful - 0
1981689 tn?1327516311
Now I read what you wrote and I personally think you might be gay. The only person who can honestly answer that is yourself. I know everyone goes through sexual confusion and different ages but all pretty much around 12-25yrs of age. How old are you?  What will happen in your mind if you are gay.  Do you have any gay friends you can confide in?
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
This has been going on for a while.  Talk to your doctor about possibly upping your medication.  It may not be working for you at the dose you are at.  
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