So I had my first panic attack about 3 months ago, and since then I've been put on 25mg of fluoxetine, 25mg of amitriptylin to sleep, and 1/2-1 mg of lorazepam as needed. I've also been going to a psychologist on a weekly basis, which has really helped a lot. Compared to where I was 3 months ago, it's like I'm almost my old self...the pre-panic attack me.....and I have been doing everything I use to do without many problems.
Except lately I have been having thoughts of harming myself, or harming those around me. I get scared about becoming schizophrenic, or that I'm bipolar, especially since both of those things affect some members of my extended family. I would never, EVER hurt anyone, I'm not like that, but the thoughts make me so scared because they come out of nowhere. It's like 2 parts of my brain are fighting with each other, the part that is thinking about hurting others or myself, and the part that is telling that part to shut up! It's worse in the early morning when I'm first waking up, but I have had the thoughts randomly throughout the day as well.
Is this a symptom of anxiety, or maybe something like OCD? It's really, really scaring me and I don't know how to make it stop. All of this anxiety has made me not trust myself or my thoughts anymore and it's really depressing.
So am I, I had my first panic attack 3 months ago too. But my intrusive thoughts are based on my masturbation addiction, which I completely stopped since I had my first panic attack. I think what you're having is anxiety, if you smoke or drink coffee that might be the reason why you're having this problem. I had to quit smoking and masturbating to reduce my anxiety. I'm still recovering. I think a lot has to do with obsession, maybe there's something you're obsessed about.
I suppose maybe I'm obsessed with the thought of going crazy. I don't smoke or drink anything with caffeine anymore, I haven't since the panic attack. I'm just constantly fearful that this anxiety is just a pre-cursor to a more serious mental illness, and maybe I'm obsessing about that thought so much that it's causing me to have these thoughts? I have no idea, this is all so confusing. Thanks for your reply, it's good to hear that I'm not the only one who has intrusive thoughts.
Well, today I up and decided to think differently. I mean, I chose something positive to think about and replaced it for that obsession. Then I got really strong and said to myself that I'm in control and I am responsable for my thoughts because If I don't do it now this is never going to end. Take control and find place in yourself that you feel strong and secure and take charge over your thought. I know it can be a bit stressing but work that muscle until you feel confident. Remember to replace it with happy strong memories.
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