Intrusive thoughts and fear they actually happened

I have known I had anxiety for a long time, but recently I started seeing a new counselor during a really bad episode and she believes I have OCD. I am very active in my own care and committed to not being owned by fear. So today I had my first acupuncture appointment. It was wonderful, I felt very calm afterward. Then while I was sitting there slowly getting up after the appointment I got this image of picking up one of the needles laying on the counter and poking myself in the finger. I got really scared. Then I got scared I had picked up a used one from the sharps container.

It didn't really happen (I think) and I should never have given it energy. But about half an hour later I felt a little pain in the finger I imagined poking and I went into a downward panic spiral thinking it really had happened. But I would never do something like that! But why was my finger hurting?

I did some relaxing exercises and feel better and the pain in my finger is going away. Could this really have happened? Does this happen to other people? I know lots of people have intrusive thoughts but does anyone else fear that they actually acted on them?

[toejam_muncher]

there's no limit to what someone with ocd can fear....literally no limit. instead of dwelling on a fear, you just have to let it happen and move on. i know it's easier said than done....but it's all you can really do. you know it's an irrational fear and irrational fears are normal for someone with ocd. because you know that this is an irrational fear, you have to just let it go. dwelling on it will make it much more intrusive than what it already is.

[Chance13]

Thanks for your reply. I feel like I'm going crazy here. What really scares me is when I start to think, "well, maybe I did poke myself with a needle." But I would never do that! I know the only way to deal with these thoughts is to not give them energy but it is so hard! Every time something comes up I think to myself, okay don't pay this thought any mind and it will pass but fear makes me examine the thought over and over until I am sick with worry and exhausted.

Have you been through anything like this?

[toejam_muncher]

yes i have. one thing that helps me is directing my thoughts toward something else that i can get carried away in. have you ever noticed at night before you go to bed how your thoughts just drift from one thing to another...you can start with something really mundane that happened in your day and then start thinking 'well...maybe i should have said this or that...' well part of what can help me is stoping a thought and concertrating on a new one and letting my mind wander like that through different thoughts. focus all your energy on something mundane untill your mind starts to wander off on a new track on it's own.

another suggestion is meditation. it's very useful if you learn how to do it....but it has to be done right in a relaxed setting with relaxing sounds....everything that you find relaxing should be used.

these are just ideas...the only way to get past these thoughts when they occure is to have a plan in place that works....and what works for one person may not work for another. some people excercise when they feel these types of thoughts. some people play music. it's all in what works for you. if you try meditation...there are plenty of books and websites dedicated to it.

[Chance13]

I have been doing yoga and tai-chi off and on for awhile now but recently have tried to practice more regularly. I do meditate. I purchased some wonderful chakra flute music, I burn a stick of lavender incense and concentrate on my breathing and on soothing words.

I am trying to get better at allowing my scary thoughts just to pass without giving them energy or an emotional response and, yes, it is very hard. But I know I am a strong person and I can beat this. I refuse to be owned by fear.  I am putting together a good plan to help me. In addition to the above, I also exercise frequently, have cut caffeine and limited alcohol, and take vitamins and herbal supplements.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me :)