Intrusive thoughts

[rdm8]

I recently been diagnosed with touretts (Coperalia ).  Thank god these tics only occur when I am aloan in my car or the shower.  Unfortuneatley I do have frequent tics when I am with my wife and kids. My children are very young and they  begun repeating some of the 4 letter words I blurt out.  This is what triggered me to get some help.  Needless to say, I was very surprise with the diagnosis.  So I did alot of research and found a OCD on intrusive thoughts. However my intrusisve thoughts are not typical of what I found during my research.  I seem to be at my worse after a social situation or dealing with a difficult situation at work.  Even when life is good, I will reflect on a memory from years ago (going back even 20 + years), and out comes the f-bomb.  Most of my verbal outburst are self degrading.  Especially after a social event.  I do have obbsessive thoughts that are consistent with the norm such as breaking my neck while jumping into a pool, Throwing my child over a balcony etc...

Is this Touretts and what can I do to help myself from these intusive thoughts?  

[cindysin]

Well, you are doing the best thing you can do, you are reaching out here. Also you talk to your wife, and a psychologist. All we can do is our best. I have alot of bad thoughts myself, usally someone getting hurt, its always my kids. It drives me up the wall.

[rdm8]

Yes, I told my psychologist & even my wife.  My Dr. said he even expierienced those same thoughts when he was raising his children.  I would never ever throw my child off a balcony.  My issues are not violence just crazy thoughts-  And when I have these thoughts I make a  head jerk or some other abrubt movement, much like touretts.  These violent thoughts are not that common with me- I can live with those because I know I would never hurt my children.  

The thoughts  that flood my mind everyday are ones of self doubt.  I analyse every conversation I had during a social event and I regret everything I say. As I am doing this thought process, I am talking out loud - dropping 4 letter words left and right.  These 4 letter words are usually directed at myself.  Its a weird thing. Or sometimes I will think of a time (could be as long as 20 plus years) that I did something stupid and out comes the F-bomb.  

I was told it was touretts, but I think its more along the lines of OCD>

[cindysin]

Have you told a doctor about ....thought of Throwing my child over a balcony ?

[susieq87]

It seems the circumstances have gained control of your life.  I don't know much about Tourettes but I do OCD as I have it also.  I have learned to do some Thought Stopping when they occur.  Such as your thought about breaking your neck or throwing someone over a balcony.  Stop the thought, what are you feeling?  Are you feeling resentment, fear, anger?  Do you know what it is directed at?  Can you trace it to the real reason those thoughts are happening?  The best thing I did was learn to detach myself from those thoughts, dealth with my feelings about them and letting them go.  Something isn't right in your life, possibly you can take a look at it.