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Involuntarily staring at private parts! Help?!
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Involuntarily staring at private parts! Help?!

Hi, I'm 15 years, male, and have self diagnosed myself with OCD, based on the recurring symptoms, such as repugnant thoughts (I've overcome) and the urge to complete something more than once, until satisfaction. However, what is particularly annoying is the involuntary urge to stare at peoples privates parts, whether it be their crotch, breast, or bum. It's not like my sexual drive is forcing me to do this, but I just can't control my sight of vision, I just have to look at it, and It's soo annoying and almost out of control. This effects me the most during my maths tutoring  lesson, as I have a female tutor who sits next to me & I just can't help but to peek to the left of me every so often. I can't control it, and I've even been caught once. Extremely embarrassing. I haven't really told anyone about this particular symptom, as I feel embarrassed..however I will eventually notify my parents, once I feel the confidence to do so.

In the meantime, is there anything that could perhaps alleviate the constant and involuntary urge to stare at peoples private parts? lol
8 Comments Post a Comment
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480448_tn?1426952138
Hello and welcome!

I'm sure you know you can't "self diagnose" yourself.  Yes, you are exhibiting some signs of OCD, and very well may have it, but you need to let the professionals make that diagnosis.

There ARE some things you can do, but first and foremost, you need to seek professional help.  A good number of cases of OCD require professional intervention to get them to a manageable level.  I know it's an uncomfortable subject to approach your parents with, but you really do need to reach out for help.  You certainly do not have to share the intimate details, all you need to say is you're struggling with a lot of anxiety, and compulsive behavior.  Make that your priority..get that ball rolling.  Treatment takes time, so the sooner you start, the better.

In the meantime, you need to start ignoring the compulsions.  It WILL be hard, and you won't always be able to do it, because, in OCD, the compulsions are what decreases feelings of anxiety.  The more you are able to turn your back on the compulsions, the more power you take away from the obsessive thoughts.  Every time you give into the compulsions, you are actually reinforcing that message to your brain that you need to do that.

So, when you get the urge to look at someone's private parts, do something, walk away if you have to, avert your eyes to look on a piece of paper, anywhere but at the body parts.  Also, you can say in your mind, "STOP!!", or "ENOUGHG!!"  If you do that over and over, it will get easier to ignore the urge to look at these body parts.

Also think of it this way.  While obviously, you have no ill intentions, if people catch on to what you're doing, you may get a reputation as being "creepy" or "perverted"...and you may even find yourself in some trouble at school.  If you do that enough...it could be considered sexual harassment.  You don't want that.

So...start NOW by asking for help, and then while you're waiting for your appt, start working on ignoring the compulsions.  Very best of luck to you...please stop back.  The community leader of this forum, JGF25 is on vacation this week.  I'm kind of filling in for her.  She is awesome and knows OCD in and out...plus she is a sufferer herself.  Until she comes back fvrom vacation, browse through the forum and read some of her posts.  You will find a lot of helpful info in them.  

Take care!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi. I read your response with interest and agree with you re professional help. However, I always try to inform myself before going to the professionals. I also have an affliction of involuntary staring.... at women's breasts. However, I am totally not conscious of doing it whilst it is occurring. I know as a female friend of mine pointed it out to me over lunch... she just tapped me on my hand and it appeared to snap me out of daydream like state. She said that I was staring at her breasts, but all the time i was carrying conversing with her quite normally. This happens to me daily, but I only realise after the event, when I reflect on it. Is this a known condition? Where can I get info regarding this? Thx.
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Avatar_m_tn
hi! i have signed up just to reply to your post. i'm 18 year old male, having ocd and have experienced your problems. i just cant avoid looking at private areas of women, including older women and women of my age group. i have also been caught one and it was painfully embarassing to me. besides i also cannot look people in the eye while having conversations. if i do i stare at them. that makes it more awkward.  it *****. thanks for letting me know that im not the only one.
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Avatar_m_tn
excuse me--the below comment is very unhelpful--as someone who suffers from this problem--its not something we can simply control and of course we're aware people might think that--which is part of the problem of the dreaded cycle of staring. if you are working on this site or covering someone else who runs this group, perhaps seek medical advice before you post something like the below comment.
sorry to sound angry but...


'Also think of it this way.  While obviously, you have no ill intentions, if people catch on to what you're doing, you may get a reputation as being "creepy" or "perverted"...and you may even find yourself in some trouble at school.  If you do that enough...it could be considered sexual harassment.  You don't want that.'
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1140115_tn?1348499315
ame33, as someone who's having the same experiences as the OP, can you share any strategies that have worked for you?
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480448_tn?1426952138
I'm sorry you found my comment unhelpful.  

And actually, I disagree to a point that people with OCD are unable to control their compulsions.  I acknowledged of course that it's not easy, but with the right professional help (which is vital and should be a first step for someone), and lots of repetition in practicing dismissal of the compulsion urge, it can be done.  

My comment that you quoted was just an observation, and quite frankly reality.  The last thing I would want someone to have to deal with is someone thinking that the OP is some kind of perverted creep, when indeed it's not the case.  In that kind of situation, I believe there is a heightened level of urgency in seeking help, as things may end up turning out poorly with other people involved.  

" if you are working on this site or covering someone else who runs this group, perhaps seek medical advice before you post something like the below comment. "

I'm not sure what to make of your comment above, seek medical advice?  For whom?  Myself?  The poster?

While I'm certainly no "expert", I've had my own fair share of experience with these kinds of things.  I have panic disorder, with which I've suffered from intrusive thoughts, and other issues shared by OCD sufferers.  I'm also a registered nurse and have had lots of patients with OCD through the years.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but my OWN opinion is that rather than critiquing someone else's advice or posts, it's more helpful for the poster if one shares something that has worked for THEM, like the moderator mentioned above.

Again, I'm sorry my comments upset you or angered you.  I think you reacted to the words themselves, versus my whole message.  Take care!
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Avatar_f_tn
Me and my Mom have this OCD, it is not sexually motivated itt is very involuntary and annoying more to us than to the person we are staring at.   I've had it his in my life for as far back as I could remember.  And it seems to get worse as I get older, I'm in my late 40's and I feel like I'm living only half of my life because now I avoid peoe so much now.  I'm looking for a support group of some kind and if not I'm willing to start one.
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Avatar_f_tn
Sorry for the errors in my statement I will spellcheck next time.  Please if there is anyone out there with any compassion we could really use your help.  
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