Is it ROCD?

[Cgh8]

I've talked to my boyfriend about this and he's very supportive. We've been dating for almost a year now and a few months back the question "what if I don't love him?" popped into my head. This started happening a few months after I started taking birth control pills. I've gotten many obsessions about it, even stuff about finding him attractive or other guys. Only 2 weeks ago I felt so much love for him and the last few days (also have exams) I haven't been feeling anything. I'm scared this means I've stopped loving him but I really don't want that. I really want to love him forever and these thoughts hurt me a lot and cause me to break down.. But still, even though it's hard, I still want to be with him cause I feel that I really do love him. I think I'm going to a thearapist next week so I'm hoping that helps and I've also went of my birth control so I'm hoping to see a change.

[JGF25]

Hi there....since you already have an anxiety disorder and have ruminated about other things in the past, I'm sure this is just another thought that popped into your head.  We try to come up with thoughts that we can't easily disprove and how are you going to disprove this one right?  We torture ourselves.  Also, watch out for stress levels.  When stress increases, thoughts increase...at least they do for me.  Also your statement "what if I don't love him" is a classic "What-if" statement.  Please see your therapist.  

[Cgh8]

Just an updated on how I was feeling this morning. I felt a nice bit of love and I was hugging him a lot but as soon as I went to get ready (have an exam in an hour) I started getting anxious over my thoughts again.

[Cgh8]

One more thing, the last few weeks I've been obsessing over his scent. Also, whenever I don't get anxious over my thoughts, I start getting anxious over that and think I don't love him. It scares me so much and I hate it

[Cgh8]

Also, another thing to add. I have an anxiety disorder. Over the past few years, I've also had health related thoughts, fears of have incest relationships, fears of being bisexual and fear of committing suicide.