Is this obbesion, anxiety or I amjust going crazy

[something]

Hi to all,

I am not   sure what is going on with me, but my head never stops thinking and getting paranoid about one thing or another.
I can not live peacefully, and still I have two jobs, I am studying in University, I can not live without thinking and creating a new illness or condition for myself.
It started when I was in my 20ties, now I am 24, and now since then is 4 years I am obsessing. I jumpo from one illness to another, read, read on internet and then I put myself in such pressure, that I start to create a new condition for myself, I develop symptoms etc.
Before 3 years , I got the anxiety that I have got an HIV, that I was almostly 100% sure I have got the last stage of AIDS, before I went testing, all came back negative, and health worker saw my anxiety, she was especially considered with my situation, as I was 100 % sure I have lymphnodes enlarged all over me...etc..
After that I started to think that I have cancer - lymphoma, I was reading about every single day, when I had free time ans was preparing myself for my final days. I was going to all the doctors, saying I have lymphnodes all over, they did not find them ever, and said I am ok, and this was even more driving me mad. I thought like I had cancerr for around 2 years! I also though that I have acute leaukemia for around 1 year. Checking my blood every single month...etc.
After all these things I found a new condition to myself, when I was in Turky on my holiday, travelling, I touched one stray cat, and after that I even called to NHS , health departement in UK, to get anti-rabies shots... And then I got rabies episode not long time ago about 2 month,when I was in E gypt, I though the cat got rabies and bite me, actually she did touch my skin with her mouth , but did not break the skin. I know now for sure that I do not have rabies, as it past 4 month after this even, but I was living all the months with a fear and symptoms of rabies, imagining my death and how I will go crazy. Well, then all these problems when away, I  developed now a new fear again of HIV. Now I am reading and reading about HIv, though I believe I have risk in beeing infected.

I do not know what to do with myself, but I have panic attacks ,and all the conditions I mentioned sometimes have such a strong symptoms that I start to believe it is real. On the other hand I know it is not.
I was on XANAX before...but it was probably 3 years ago...
All my family friends are worried that I am all the time so obbesed about the things.
Is it anxiety, obession? am I going crazy?
Who can help me?
Apart from this I am a normal person I travel, study and party.
Forget to mention, I had eating disorder when I was 16...ages ago.But still I am obbesed about my weight all the time...

[jimgreg]

all of us obsession...thats what  your doing...i have apnea real bad i been obsessing over this 2 yrs now..ive had low o2 levels so theres a concern..doc dont act real concern..and it is a bad thing..SO I BEEN DOING WHAT YOUR DOING  FOR YRS...THEN I LEARN MEDICAL..I WAS HOING TO GO TO MED SCHOOL  THEN GOT THIS AND BIPOLAR 1...SO NO MED SCHOOL..I HAVE 13 YRS UNDER ME OF MEDIAL  AND MEDS...IM A MEDICAL ADVOCATE....

[kateeeee]

Your not alone. Some of your sumptoms sound a lot like the ones i had. I had OCD extremely bad to the point where i did not know what to do with myself. I wouldn't leave my house or anything. I was always unhappy, depressed, and my life was gone. It was so bad i considered suicide because there was no point to living. I went back to counseling and was put on medication which only made it worse. About 3 months later i went tried a new medication, called Welbutrin. Ive been on that for almost 2 years and my life is completely different. My OCD is no longer interrupting my life, and it only bothers me slightly once in a while. My life has dramatically changed, i can't even explain it. I understand what your going through. When i went to counseling i didn't want to talk i just wanted it to stop now. And im telling you it will, get help.

[Pure760]

I can relate to alot of that, you're just extreamly paranoid. Even if you DID have a disease would you rather spend the rest of your life worrying about it, or enjoying the time that you have left?  Escuse me if this is rude but its kind of funny that you're worring about having diseases when the worry itself is the disease.  This book helped me alot, you can alter your mental state and have peace that even a 'normal' person could never even fathom. http://courseinmiracles.com/urtext/chapter_1/section_1.htm

[toejam_muncher]

well you should really see a psychiatrist if you think you have ocd. it's important to see one because meds alone usually won't get rid of it. it usually takes time and effort along with therapy. if you do see a psychiatrist, i recommend printing this post and showing it to them. these are thoughts are worries that haven't been filtered and sometimes they are the best thoughts to help achieve the right diagnosis.

i can tell you that you are not alone in your worries. plenty of us obsess over our health. i obsess over my health and death. i think about it all the time. usually i can push it to the back of my mind...but not always. i'm 24....to me that's getting old. i know to a lot of people thats 'young'....but 1/3 of my life is probably done. maybe even half if i only live as long as my dad. he died very suddenly at 48 and so that would make me middle aged. since my dad died...death seems to be all i think about. we all have reasons why we think the way we do. sometimes it's the way we are hard wired and sometimes it has to do with events in our lives. either way, therapy is the best way to work through them.