My fiance is OCD and has insecurity and trust issues...

So what I need help with is how to deal with his issues. I have recently been put on Zoloft for anxiety because the spells my fiance has with his fears of me cheating due to past relationships, his insecurities and him being OCD and obsessing over all these thoughts that enter his head have really torn me down from a happy woman to having to walk on eggshells for him. I have had to stop wearing clothes that I like to wear(granted some were not appropriate for a respectful woman in a relationship, stop talking to long time friends because they are friends I dated or "did anything with" in the past. Though to me these people are just friends, nothing more, I still had to give them up becasue he was not okay with me being in contact with them because of the high chance of things like that being able to happen again. Anyways, he is finally taking steps to try to help himself as well other than trying to control his thoughts on his own, which has not worked hardly at all. He constantly questions me, tells me that he is sure I am lying to him about whether or not I am talking to other guys at work, on the phone, online or in person. He swears to me that because after him and I got together I was getting phone calls all the time from guys and when I asked them to stop calling they actually did, but all the calls seemed to stop at once. So he assumed/assumes I talk to them while I am at work where he cant check on it. The thing is, I dont. In teh first couple months of our relationship I did lie to him about a couple guys that we ran into while we were out. I told him I had never done anything with them but actually had. I only lied to him to avoid further conflict at the time, but that back fired when I finally told him the truth. Well he got over it and let it go. Well, a couple weeks later my high school sweetheart sent me a message on my space. I showed my fiance so he didnt think I was trying to hide anything from him cause the other incidence had just happened that couple weeks before. So I wrote back to my high school flame and told him that I was in a relationship now and could no longer talk to him as it was not healthy for my relationship. I did it very bluntly and felt I needed to give him a better explanation, so I tried to get ahold of his phone number to call him. WEll, my fiance found out that I was trying to reach him and took it as I was trying to keep him in my life in case somethign happened between my fiance and I. That wasnt the case at all. But that is still to this day what my fiance thinks. So anyways, aside the help he is trying to get what else can I do to cope with and help him through these spells that attack him and cause most of our agruments?

[Mommy3Girls]

Has anyone experienced this one one side or the other? Even if you have OCD and deal with these type of things, maybe you can enlighten me on what may help me help my fiance'!!!

[fighter777]

unfortuantly I relate to you EXACTLY and have expierenced every single thing you have said to a detail. for a minute I thought you were talking about MY fiance LOL.  The habitual paper stacking is not too bad but the rest is un-livable and am still trying to decide if I should follow thru  with the marriage.

I  do love him but am worried my strong personaltiy and his ocd is a disater waiting to happen. came to forum for adivice and help.. Id like to know if its even possible for a odcer to acknowledge that what they are doing is wrong.  or is living on eggshells or ending it the only way.

HELPPPPP

[jdtm]

Your description of your finance reminds me of our neighbour.  She was diagnosed with OCD, depression and eating disorders.  But, the real problem was her personality issues - similar to your posting.  Have you considered that your finance might suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (your words "walking on eggshells" are a huge red flag).  An excellent website is BPDfamily.com with an excellent message forum - perhaps you should consider this possibility.