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OCD HIV Testing/Checking Problem
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OCD HIV Testing/Checking Problem

I have OCD and it usually manifests itself in health related ways. Recently I have been concerned about HIV. I am seeing someone who is more experienced than I am. He told me he always used protection during his encounters but has never been tested and promised me he would soon. We have only kissed so far--making out, pretty deeply. I am terrified that I may catch HIV. Just from kissing which I know is basically impossible but hey, this is OCD you know how it is. I want to get tested but am scared that this is ridiculous and will only further my anxiety by making me want to test over and over again. Any advice from those of you who have dealt with this before.
22 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
See a shrink to learn ways to stop those train of thought.I know what you are going through its not fun
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Hi there.  How long ago were you diagnosed with OCD?  Also, are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist for the disorder?  Did you learn CBT?  You mentioned a checking problem and yes, as an OCD sufferer, I know quite well how we can go from one thing to the next in the blink of an eye.  From what you have said you seem to have a handle on the whole "it's not real" part but at the same time you seem a bit out of control because you now want to go and get tested.  I'm just trying to find out how far along the treatment path you have gone if at all.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I did CBT for a year and took medication. I made progress and my therapist said I didnt need to continue with either. I have an appointment to see her again. At this time I'm going through a lot of stress and that usually makes my OCD flair up. I'm on here now to seek reassurance about m situation.
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Avatar_m_tn
Whats the situation
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1699033_tn?1405352675
From what you have described you are in a "no risk" situation.  Kissing is not a means of transmitting HIV.  So the fact is that you don't even need to worry about testing because you have never had a risk situation.  

As far as the therapist goes, we make progress yes, but OCD doesn't just vanish because we have learned a few techniques and took medication.  It is always going to be there lurking and yes when you have a stressful life event, it may come back as it did in your case.  I cannot tell you to stay on meds or to go off of them in the future but for myself, I did the same as you and I had a number of good years that were not OCD free but manageable.  However, now I'm on meds again and this time I'm not going off of them.  

Take care knowing that you are in no danger of contracting HIV.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I was mostly scared because I had a kanker sore when this happened. There was no blood from either of us (that I remember) and it is unlikely that my partner has it.
That said, its just scary the way things pop into our heads and we cant get them out and having to be 100% sure about everything. 99.9% doesnt even make me feel better.
I plan on going back on the meds. This year has been mostly good with only little OCD thoughts here or there but the past month has been unbearable. Going back on meds ASAP
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Avatar_f_tn
I am nervous about kissing someone while i had a kanker sore and getting HIV.
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Avatar_m_tn
This helped me with that fear,there are over a dozen proteins and what not in saliva that prevent hiv infection in the mouth.
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Avatar_m_tn
I had this sexual anxiety after I contracted an STI (got rid of it) and had a fear of HIV. It affected my sexual performance and for a time I did not want to have sex with someone new. I was scared of getting HIV and had a fear that everyone had STDs. With time this will pass, but I spoke to a counselor to deal with it.

The best thing you can do is talk to your partner and both get mutual tests before you start having sex. That way you can go together and you can be sure he is HIV free and so are you. If you are and you are both faithful and use protection, you will not contract the virus.

PM me if you need someone to talk to as I have gone through this before and I would be happy to help.
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Avatar_f_tn
hi everyone, i am from bulgaria and i have the same problem....my fears are driving me crazy.....i had sex with a really sweet guy  last year (i must say that it was just once  and it was my first time ...then i started to think that may be he has some kind of STD and i didn't call him anymore )and we used protection but not long ago i started to think that may be we didn't. So I went to a place where people get tested for Hiv for free and my result was negative ... i was so happy with my result. Two days later I decided that may be she used the lancet twice and i was soooo scared that after a month  I went again  and the woman told me that i have mental problems and i need to seek some help and i went to get tested in a clinic where I paid ( everybody was watching as I was a ***** when I said I want to get tested for hiv  ) and my result was again negative. But i just can't stop thinking about that lancet thing and that the window period is 3 months not just 1 . yesterday i was convinced that i am infected with hiv and hepatitis C beacause may be the person before me was an IV drug user...................I can't sleep , I can't study , I can't eat. My parents keep telling me that I am ok and nothing happened and when we have dinner I  cry all the time and can't stop . i don't know what i am going to do if i have it i am just 18 years old.... And i must say having HIV in Bulgaria is soooooooooooooo bad  it's like you are a second hand person :(  Now I have runny nose and sore throat and i am sure that this is the primary hiv infection . I am seeing a therapist but he doesn't help me , he said that this is OCD but I still can't believe him . I think about HIV all the time and can't concentrate on anything else . Do you think I need to get tested for hiv one more time?! ( sorry about my english i know it's not the best)
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Avatar_m_tn
saliva is not infectious even if it contains blood.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am one of OCd people.No matter experts say it's no risk ,you still want to test right? It's so terrible! Stop testing is the answer
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1699033_tn?1405352675
No, you don't need to get tested anymore.  The lancet was not reused.  There is a stigma attached to being HIV positive and that is why you are having such a hard time.  You are what-iffing this and then catastrophizing it and there isn't even anything wrong with you.  

Your therapist has diagnosed you with OCD..what's not to believe?  OCD is frought with irrational thinking and doubt so I'm sure he/she is correct in the diagnosis.  The real question is, what has he/she done to help you get over these thoughts?  Are you learning CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?  Talking about it isn't going to make it go away.  You have to learn the proper techniques to help yourself.

Also, if you can, try to get the book The OCD Workbook:  Your Guide to Breaking Free of Obessive Compulsive Behavior.  I think you will find it very useful.  

Take care.
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Oh...and I forgot to mention that this type of anxiety and worry can lead to general health problems.  It wears you down and wreaks havoc on your immune system so you are more prone to get something like a cold which is what your runny nose and sore throat are.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for your reply .I hope this is just my OCD.. My therapist prescribed me meds but they don't help at all. It's good to know that someone understands how I feel. Last year I suffered from anorexia I was really skinny lost 10% of my weight , it was a hard time . I don't know why i can't enjoy my life , everybody tells me that i am a really  pretty and smart girl but i have problems with self esteem. I want to get rid of this situation once and forever!!! And I'll do my best but it's just sooooo hard
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey
I was reading your comments and it made me feel a bit better. My problem is that I´m afraid that I got hiv through kissing. I took the test 2 months after the kissing and I wanted to get another test after 3 months but my doctor said that there was no need for more testing cause I couldn´t get hiv through kissing. In a way I understand it myself too but sometimes I get this anxiety attack. Now I don´t even want to get another test because I´m afraid that it would be positive allthough I should know that it would be negative. (Sorry, my English is not so good).
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Hi there.  Kissing is definitely not a mode of transmission.  If it were, we would all have HIV at this point.  So no, your doctor is right in that you don't need to test anymore nor did you even have to test to begin with.  Have you given some thought to see a psychologist to help you with this?  It doesn't sound as if you have a good handle on your irrational thoughts at this point and perhaps you need to learn some ways to stop the thoughts as well as deal with the anxiety attacks they are causing.  You didn't mention where you are from so I don't know how readily you can see a psychologist.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey
Thank you so much for you post. It makes me feel better. I know that I could´t get hiv like that but since my mind does these "tricks" it helps a lot to read some wise words :)
I live in Peru and I was thinking that I should see a psychologist. I hope that I´ll find a good one.
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Make it a point to find someone that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  It is really an invaluable tool against these types of thoughts and resulting anxiety.  Take care of you!  
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Avatar_f_tn
I went to a psychologist and she sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said that I suffer from anxiety disorder. Do you happen to know something about it? The doctor didn´t explain much, just gave me meds and told to me keep on seeing the psychologist.
At first I felt better but the hiv fear thoughts came back today, maybe because of my guilt :(
Any good advice how to relax?.
Tomorrow I´ll have an appointment with the psychologist.
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Avatar_f_tn
I just found good information about the general anxiety disorder here in medhelp, this is such a helpful website :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for your post to OCDone coz it helped me too :)
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