Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
OCD? New here!
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OCD? New here!

Hi everyone, I wanted to share my story and hopefully get some insight as I've never actually been diagnosed with OCD but am pretty certain I have it.  I would love to know more about the treatments and how you cope!

So, lately I have been obsessing over the idea of having herpes (it's a long story), but I posted in the herpes forum and started browsing and it brought me here! So many of the posts reminded me of myself.

For most of my life that I can remember I was obsessed with even numbers when I was younger and would count everything I did to ensure there was nothing in odd.  Everything from touching things to eating things, you name it.  I also had the obsessive fear of something happening to my family members even at that age.  I would be hysterical if my parents were home 1 minute later than expected.

In my adult life so far (I'm in my early 20s) my main obsessive thoughts still come from this fear of something bad happening to my family or boyfriend. And health issues for myself. I cannot rationalize these thoughts no matter how hard I try. It is hard to watch the news or certain TV shows because I am either afraid the tragedy I hear about will happen to my family or I will hear of someone dying from a rare illness and think I have it. This also moves into the existential nature of things. I start wondering why it happened to that person and not me? What did they do? How can there be someone looking over us when that is happening? What is stopping it from happening to me? The thought process goes on, and on, and on. I am already scared to have kids because I don't know if I will be able to mentally cope.

Now reading about HOCD I relate to that as well as those thoughts have crossed my mind many times. This comes in short bouts for me of a month or so at a time though, where as the other fears are much more constant. It is interesting because right now I'm not in a period of time where I'm fearing that, and I can see how ridiculous it is, but there are times when I'm thrown into those panic states and it seems so much more rational at the time. I believe the focus of my OCD shifts based on what is going on around me - if there is no pressing health issue (definitely my main obsession), I'll go to worrying about harm coming to my family, then I'll start worrying about sexuality, body image, and so forth, but there always has to be something in my mind that I am obsessively worrying about. Is this typical of OCD sufferers?

Thanks so much!
3 Comments Post a Comment
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Well I'm pretty sure you have OCD as well.  What you describe is very common for the OCD sufferer.  We go from one thing to the next.  What you have probably done over time is develop some of your own coping strategies.  You may not recognize them as such but they are there.  

What you have described to me is not really living.  You are in your early 20s and this isn't something that you should have to deal with on a daily basis.  OCD is treatable with the right help.  You have only to look at me to see this.  I started haveing problems around 17 and I'm 50 now (almost).  I have a college degree, I am married, I have two children, and I am successful in my career (which doesn't have anything to do with psychology).  I volunteer here.  

You need to see a psychologist.  You need to get diagnosed and then the two of you will come up with a treatment plan.  The first and foremost thing you want to look for is a psychologist that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD.  It is an invaluable tool.  It helps you retrain your brain with self-coaching.  It helps you learn techniques that you employ to control your breathing when you panic.  I can't say enough about it and it is something that every person with OCD should know.  These are the coping strategies you need to have.  

Here is an article that I think you should read.  

http://www.wsps.info/index.php?catid=0:&id=82:ten-things-you-need-to-know-to-overcome-ocd&option=com_content&view=article

Let me know how you are doing.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks so much for your response! That's so nice that you volunteer your time to help other sufferers. I am realizing that this is no way to live, but it's always been the way so I have never really thought too much of it! It took me realizing my constant obsession with my health is actually making me feel as though I have symptoms when really I don't. That is what is happening to me now hence my post on the other forum. My doctor agreed yesterday my symptoms are in my head. She mentioned medication but I would rather try the therapy first, though a quick fix does sound highly appealing.

I am also obsessed with everything being perfect and when it's not I am very hard on myself. Thankfully I have a boyfriend who is so calm and really is a rock for me when I need to be brought back down to reality. However I do silently suffer most of the time as whenever I bring up my thoughts my family thinks I am crazy.

I have benefits that include a psychologist so I will take advantage of that - it's just a matter of finding one now. I really appreciate you listening to me. Keep you posted!
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1699033_tn?1405352675
You have forgotten what it feels like to not think about this stuff on a daily basis which is why it became your new "normal."  I'm glad you are going to seek help.  So many people just sit around and do nothing and there really are effective treatments out there.  Definitely try the therapy first and if you need to go the medication route, don't beat yourself up about it.  I have taken meds off and on and I am "on" now and probably will never go "off" again.  :)  
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