OCD Problem -> Need Help Please !!

Hello Friends,

I am a software professional. I am suffering from unwanted thoughts.

I used to watch porn a lot earlier but now reduced to almost zero The porn thoughts doesnot go from my mind and frequently come back and disturb me. This is not my actuall problem.


Now I actually imagine killing my daughter or myself by knife or something like that. I never wish to think anything like this.

Actually It started happening after I saw a gruesome video of a man's killing by cutting his head off (a video on a mobile). I regrated a lot afterward that why I saw that kind of video because it is causing me to think like I am killing somebody espacially my daughter and myself. I have also seen a lot of horror movies.

I live in a conservative family and feel a bit awkward to visit to a professional doctor. I am able to work throughout the day but these thoughts come in between. I feel stressed out before going to sleep and it takes me lot of time to actually sleep.

Anybody experienced with similar problem like me. Is it really OCD?

I really don't want to think any such thoughts but they come again and again and disturb me.

I am a nice person and want to live my life in peace.

Does these thoughts make you act out? What kind of risks are involved in it?

I will be really thankful to all of you for your help. Please advice me.

A frank opinion will be appreciated.

[patient12345]

Yes, that sounds very much like one of the many forms of OCD.  Some people having washing compulsions.  Some people have "checking" compulsions.  Others have intrusive, gruesome, unwanted thoughts, often about hurting those they love.  And there are many other forms.  

And don't worry about acting them out.  OCD suffers don't do so, and neither will you.  

There are many books on this subject and you'll probably be relieved to read stories much like your own.  You can even just Google "intrusive thoughts OCD" or something similar.  You'll see that you are definitely not alone.

Check out the book Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz.  Also, don't feel awkward about seeing a professional, whether a psychologist or psychiatrist.  They will confirm right away that what you're experiencing is OCD, which should help put your mind at ease, and be able to recommend ways to start living without the burdens you're currently struggling with.

[beentheredonethat2]

You definately are NOT alone! These unwanted thoughts are
common to sufferers of OCD.
Congratulations on your desire to avoid porn ...it can be addictive
even to someone without OCD...
You will NOT hurt your beloved daughter or anyone else...

Make an appointment to see your doctor tomorrow
And trust that the Creator of the human mind understands and
WILL help you endure ...Rest easy, Dear

[kramer10]

I didn't know that unwanted thoughts were part of OCD.  I had horrible weird thoughts when I had my daughter like what if I'm so sleep deprived that I put her in the microwave. I won't even get to the counting and checking behaviors at that time. Now I have thoughts about what to do if someone breaks into our house or there's a fire.  These are unlikely to happen but they cause me great stress.
OCD can, however, be a bit silly.  One thing I find myself doing is discovering and then counting catch phrases that people have.  Those that say " and I was like..." drive me insane.  I lose count on them.  But once I was on an interview committe and we were listening to a candidate and she said "and what not." in a very southern accent after almost everything she said.  After the interview, we discussed the candidate.  I couldn't remember a thing she said in the interview but I was able to share that she said "and what not" twenty times.  She didn't get the job and I'm glad because I would never be able to get any work done ...and what not.

[marriedkid78]

Thanks all for the help

[mwimb]

I understand what you are all going through, i feel horrible when I have thoughts like that too. I have had OCD for 15 years, I have never heard of anyone with horrible thoughts like I do.  I feel like a terrible person which really im not I cant even watch something scary on TV!

[JamesParty]

Well I'm not going to point fingers but from what I think, you don't have OCD. You just have an open mind that wonders and wonders. You make the unwanted thoughts and you think about them more and more. Therefore, keeping that unwanted thought in you mind. I mean I think of disturbing things in my mind also, but never acting out these thoughts. Its just the movies and things that you see that make you think of these thoughts. Don't let it get to you. Everyone or mostly everyone has these thoughts on somewhat lines. The mind is the most powerful thing, don't let it get to you.

[DumbHick]

From my experience these are OCD thoughts. It's basically your minds way of distracting you from what is really bothering you. A coping mechanism if you will. Certainly not a good one, but a learned behavior. The good news is that you're not going to act out on these thoughts no matter how unsettling they are.

[Rainrainrain777]

I had intrusive thoughts/urges after I had my baby. I had to take meds. also I hear taking omega 3 6 9 helps

[DizzyDolly]

I'm not completely certain, but this doesn't sound like OCD, because although there is an obsession, there doesn't seem to be a compulsion (an action to deal with the negative emotions created from the obsession). Although you may feel uncomfortable talking to your doctor, it would probably help you as they would know best how to guide you. Intrusive thoughts like these can acutally be more common place in society then you think and your doctor won't judge you but is there to help.

[akcp]

Intrusive, disturbing thoughts can be and is most likely OCD. The anxiety reducing "compulsion" part, may be carried out mentally. Just the thought of being appalled by the disturbing thought, can be the compulsion - compulsive reassurance - to the obsessive fear of doing harm or having harm come to those whom we love. Many adults who have lived with OCD, for their whole lives, have evoloved into doing their compulsions mentally, as they learned as a child that the physical acting out of compulsions got in the way (drew unwanted attention).

[everyminutelive]

Dood you have OCD. Period this is text book go to amenclinics.com it is cutting edge brain technology. It utilizes brains SPECT imaging, it will look at how your brain functions genetically, there is a brain that is overactive in OCD patients it is genetic just like the color of your eyes, if I were you don't identify with the thoughts your brain just got stuck on a shocking image and it is replaying, TRY 5-HTP it is an amino acid you can find at any health food store. Check out this site man it will change your perspective. amenclinics.com. Textbook OCD

[everyminutelive]

the 5-htp help your brain produce more seretonin which will help with your thoughts, plus it is possible you have a very active pre frontal cortex which is why you can't let go of the toughts, I didn't think of that, go to the web site, and forget about your family upbringing you are suffering needlessly.