Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
OCD and Fear of HIV
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This community is an un-mediated, community for questions and support regarding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issues such as: causes, check locks, check stoves, clean things, count items, dirt, doubt, drugs and medications, family and relationship issues, fear of forgetting, fear that a mistake will harm a loved one, financial issues, germs, horrific images, OCD research , order things, perform rituals, repugnant images, repugnant religious thoughts, repugnant sexual thoughts, , shower, symmetry, symptoms, touch things, treatment, violent images, wash hands

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272 Comments Post a Comment
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Obviously "ending it" over something you don't even have is not the solution and pretty drastic actually.  Since apparently you have been on other forums asking questions, let me ask you if you have seen a psychologist and/or psychiatrist?  What are you doing to help yourself, if anything, with these HIV irrational thoughts?  
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Avatar_f_tn
Since you´ve been tested negative it doesn´t make any sense that you´d be having those fears.  You need to look for help. I suggest that you talk to a psychologist.
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480448_tn?1403547723
hehapu....It's obviously not as easy as just saying, "you tested negative, so you shouldn't have those fears".  We see ALL the time people who cannot convince themselves, despite not having an actual risk, or despite numerous negative tests...that they do not have HIV.  

A LOT of people have an irrational fear of HIV.  Some people have phobias about it, some anxiety related to HIV, and still others have OCD, with fears focused around HIV.  There are different levels of anxiety surrounding HIV.  A good bit of the people on that list could really benefit from seeking professional help.

imgoingcrazy...you're going to end your life because people on an online forum didn't get to your post yet?  Now come on, that's just absurd.  This is a user to user forum, people aren't here 24/7.  Questions get answered as quickly as possible.  PLUS, you posted on an older thread, which do not always get as much attention.

You don't need anymore HIV tests..you know in your rational mind that they prove you don't have HIV.  You need a professional to help you convince your irrational mind of the same.  When anxiety gets to a point where your daily life is affected, or you are talking suicide, it becomes a necessity, and urgent that you get help.  No one can do that FOR you, you have to do it for yourself.

Just browse around, you'll see just how common HIV related anxiety is.  You're not alone.  

Keep this in mind...FEAR IS NOT FACT.  A professional will help you learn how to sort through fear and fact.  FACT is, you have SCIENTIFIC proof you don't have HIV.  

Now, make that call...get yourself some help.  Your doctor is a good starting place.  He can give you a referral to a psychiatrist, or psychologist.  The first is a medical doctor who has the ability to prescribe meds.  The second would be more of a "therapist".  You definitely need the second...and you may also need the first.

Best of luck.


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Avatar_f_tn
Obviously it´s not as easy as saying there´s no reason to worry. I know it better than anyone coz I´m fighting everyday against my irrational fears of hiv. But I need to be told (many times) that my fears don´t make any sense. The advice I received on this website was to get psychological help and definitely without it it would be way too difficult to handle these fears on my own.
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3379622_tn?1369728311
can anyone tell me whether I have HIV risk or not, please answer it sincerely

I have made love with my girlfriend, whom I'm totally sure that she is ok. But when I come to take a bath, actually I just wash my penis with water, then I come out, use the towel that lay on the bed, which is prepared by the hotel service. Afterward, I start to think whether the towel has semen on it or not, and then will the semen come to my body through the tip of penis, the urethra even though I'm quite sure that the towel was quite tidy as it was prepared for the new room.

Please someone give me some advice, I'm totally freaking out when thinking chances of getting hiv, especially my ocassion.

Do I have a chance of getting hiv? Do I need to get test? What should I do to get rid of the thinking of hiv which I never had before.

I want to get back to a life which I don't need to think about chances, risk of getting hiv.

Thanks in advance, and good luck to everyone.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Are you having obsessive thoughts about HIV?  Have you worried in the past about it?  If so, let's discuss what you've done about it.

This is the OCD forum, not the HIV forum, so it is really not the place for risk assessments.  That being said, since I'm a regular contributor in the HIV forum, I will tell you you didn't have a risk.  You can not get HIV from towels, or other environmental objects.
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3379622_tn?1369728311
Well have some mistaken here, it's my bad. I have no worry like this in the past but i can not stop thinking about it even though the frequency is lessen.So that's why I want to get rid of it as soon as possible, is there any advice?Anyway, Thanks a lots for your comment and sorry for this inconvenient
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480448_tn?1403547723
Well, if you feel you need to test in order to move on, then by all means, do so.  However, if you find yourself still worrying about HIV after your test, then I would recommend professional help.
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3379622_tn?1369728311
MY country as I know that have offered a combo test which I'm not quite sure it's really combo test or not, but everyone in my country said so. So if I have to release my mind, I have to wait to next week in order to obtain 28 days to perform the test. BUt i'm still not quite sure whether this can be conclusive or not.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Well, as you had no risk, any test would be conclusive.
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Avatar_f_tn
My name is mike,it all started in yr 2000,i developed a very strong phobia of getting infected with hiv from casual contacts,i developed irrational disorder,believing everything out there is a means of infection eg,i get scared to death when i step on use condoms or tissues,i get scared to death when i see things like red stains,i get scared when i touch a liquid cos at that point i'll be fighting in my heart to know it it's just water or body fluid,i don't go out with my phone or laptop cos of fear that they maybe infected,i wash anything i come home with as a result i don't buy anything myself,i clean everythin i have contact with or feel i have contact with when i get home n avoid touching the ones i cn't clean,sometimes my mind mks me believe i stepped or touch body fluids or blood,pls i need HELP  
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Avatar_m_tn
I am going crazy, all I think all day is hiv, I been think I gave it to my kids( of course I don't have sex with them) I even clean the bathroom after me with Clorox, this is insane! , I got tested and they said I am fine, I am going crazy this obsession is destroying me. Help!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello everybody, I am a OCD sufferer. I Am know 34, but I have it since my 22. At the moment (again) I am going through a hard time. I (again) convinced myself that I caught HIV throug a unprotected *******. Why unprotected? Because I asked the lady about here HIV test history and recent risks. She said she was tested and did not put herselve at risk. But I should have known better. She had a risk. But because it was with a friend,
she did not see it as a risk. This I found out later. It also did not help that after the ******* I saw a discoularing on my foreskin and that 6 days later I caught a cold. Although Dr Hook told me not to worry and that I do not need to test, I am scared and depressed. I thought I did everyhing right, but it does not help me. I am going to see a Psychiatrist with a sexualologie degree, I hope it helps.
I know I have a inflated fear of hiv. It even goes so far that everytime I hear a number of Queen, or see a HIV spot on tv that it is directed at me. Strange thing is that I am not superstitious....
Just wanted to tell my story, your input is welcome..
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2091399_tn?1354908671
This *****. I can't even think anymore. All I want to do is cry because I don't know what else to do. No one wants to help or answer questions. If I ask questions I just get banned or warned so whats the use. What happened to being friendly to one another. This HIV OCD thing is really messing up my life :'(
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Avatar_m_tn
What are you worried about?
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Avatar_f_tn
I constantly obsess over having HIV...which according to the multiple tests I have had I am HIV negative. However, I have OCD and anxiety, so if my lymph nodes start acting up or I just don't feel right...I automatically have HIV. Keep in mind I AM HSV2 positive. So I get night sweats at times and feel awful. But I no where your all coming from. Glad to know there are others out there like me. Xoxox
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Avatar_m_tn
Even since my "exposure" on 08/02/12, I've been going through the toughest time of my life. I had protected sex with a prostitute and ever since that event, I feel like I might contracted HIV, not only that, I constantly worried about passing on the virus to my pregnant wife and one and half year old daughter. I got tested at 5 weeks and 12.5 weeks after the encounter and both were negative, but still worried. I want to live my life normal and not think about it anymore but it's so hard.
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Avatar_m_tn
I never discussed it with my wife and family about my incident, I just want to love them for the rest of my life...I am really sorry for my action and I want to stay around so I can protect them and provide for them. I love my family.
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2091399_tn?1354908671
K, I went to get another test (maniacal laugh) and everything was fine, until I left the place.  I shook the guys hand that gave me the test before I left.  Now I'm worried that I didn't check his hands for cuts or my hand, and now I think I could've got it that way because the guy is around people who may or may not have HIV, all day.  Also, I'm worried that even though I may not have had a cut on my hand that because I didn't wash my hand before going to the bathroom I may have got blood from his hand on my penis.  Also the place I went to to get tested was not a county run establishment but a place that concentrates on service for the community and I'm worried that they would hire only people with HIV or something like that.  OMG, help me, this is too much.  Is there anything you guys can say to reassure me?
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Avatar_m_tn
Ok, i know this post is like almost a year old but i'm in a similar situation although i haven't tested and i'm afraid of doing so. a week after my intercourse ( i was the insertive partner with a female) and wore a condom which slipped twice and re-used it each time although i may have put it upside down when re-used it with the partner's fluids inside the condom, trapped. anyway, a week after my potential risk, a developed flu-like symptoms including fever which didn't held a week or two as teak says though it was a pretty high fever ( 38.3 in celsius), and it held for one night and then the following weeks, i've had hot flashes and my body temperature was pretty high like 37.5. i've had a slight diarrhea, sore throat, almost every symptom including canker sores, etc. ok, i've had a CBC which isn't something like a total confirmation and they turned out good and i know symptoms don't diagnose hiv because i've heard of people including our friend teak who never experienced any symptoms and he has the disease for like 30 years if i'm correct. but, as you already know, i almost let of it go for many months and almost forgot about it until i hear about new cases of hiv which kind of triggers something inside me and makes me feel uncomfortable. i've had several posts which and the experts here told me that i didn't have a risk and don't need testing. it makes me feel very good on the moment but then i think about my symptoms and feel the panic again. i even began building images in my mind that the condom may have slipped inside my partner's vagina, leaving my penis uncovered although every time i took my penis out, the condom was on ( ok, except those 2 situations). the second time the condom slipped, it had something white inside and yes, it was a lubricated condom but again i'm not sure if it was lubricant or vaginal fluid. i need some more reassurance. thank you anyway for making this website for the support of people like me and many others. thanks.
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4618178_tn?1359360885
WOW!!! I've been thinking that I'm the only person on this planet who's over-concerned about possible HIV infection until this day! Thank God, I came across this forum! It feels a lot better to know that I'm not alone on this subject!
I'm pretty sure I have CDO (it's like OCD, but in the alphabetical order). But after I had a stupid unprotected sex with a prostitute I began to think about THIS all the time! I did the testing but it showed negative. But it didn't ease my worry. I'm still worried that I could have the HIV infection.
My little advice for anyone who is reading this and who is overwhelmed about their possible infection with HIV: getting tested is the key! Just get tested, and I'm sure I'll feel better than ever after your results turn out to be negative.
Dear brothers and sisters, don't waste your valuable minutes worrying about something that 0.0001% chance getting in our lives. You live only once. So live your life without worry. Get tested, and after your negative results forget all about it! WE ARE BORN TO BE ALIVE!
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Avatar_m_tn
I have been tested for hiv 1 Elisa 2 combi test 2rapid test for on week 2 week 4 week 8 on my last massage activity . I have been to massage many many times with handjob French kissing body rubbing anus fingering sucking nipple . doc told me no need to test anymore and he just recommend to test every 6 month for health check purpose . but I cant move on . I still paranoid when I got molluscum in my genital . I feel myself got a lot of bacteria and virus . every time I want to move on will have new thing pop out . recently I afraid I caught syphilis  from the exposure . I go and tested and negatives . then I thought my antibiotic for fungal cause false negatives . now I dunno what to do . my gf now got few pimples near her public area . did I infect her anything ? we nvr sex for 6 months . she just handjob me . I have ask the doc whether the swab test detected I got gonorrhea or chlamydia he say no . but until today I still can't forgot it . I m on depression medicine but it's seem not working . I only sleep 4 hours for 2 months already . anyone can advise ? many things happen recently . I no desire to sex anymore . I just want my normal back life again. I really really regret what i have been done for so long... i feel like want to cry
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Avatar_m_tn
i am so glad i found this forum, i had a situation where i was out in june of last year and someone i had not seen in a while put there tongue in my mouth whilst i and they was drunk, my fear at first was can i get hiv through kissing, i quickly got over that, then i thought what if he had had anal sex with me, as i can't remember bits of the night being so drunk, i have had 5 tests since, the last one at 6 months and they all come back negative, now from googling hiv on the net, i had been reading about late seroconversion, which will now not let me move on, i am just starting to see a cbt therapist who i am hoping will be able to help me move on
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Avatar_m_tn
I  completely and utterly do the same thing and i'm even a therapist who treats OCD.
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Avatar_m_tn
It's interesting you say that b/c OCD DOES MANIFEST when you are heightened with stress. Think about it. Your stress has to come out some way so it chooses OCD. I do the same thing. My school doesn't suffer and I'm doing a phd in psych with a 4.0 and my work doesn't suffer but my personal mind and life suffer.
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2091399_tn?1354908671
Possibly the worst thing you can possibly be OCD about.  Its debilitating.  People who don't have this have no idea how serious this and detrimental this it is.  I can't even be myself or talk to people anymore.
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Avatar_f_tn
my ocd is ooc coz  i got last year glands pain, groin pain, tonsilitas ,fever, headache i dont know where it came from then i started thinkig hiv now iam marry women and i luv my husband tuesday i will go hospital to chech if i have hiv or nt
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Avatar_f_tn
my ocd is ooc coz  i got last year glands pain, groin pain, tonsilitas ,fever, headache i dont know where it came from then i started thinkig hiv now iam marry women and i luv my husband tuesday i will go hospital to chech if i have hiv or nt
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Avatar_f_tn
Omg I feel so much better....I get tested every year some how I still believe that I have HIV ...I can't enjoy my life :-(
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Avatar_m_tn
It's a bit refreshing to see that I'm not the only person going through this. It started over a year ago when I had protected sex with one of my friends. He says hes been tested and he doesn't have it. But he's the type of guy that, you don't even know what to believe what he says because he is very shady. He has had unportected sex with other people so that's why I am so paranoid about it. Also, I was under the influence and drunk when it happened - and he in a way - took advantage of me. I have no been tested because I have a fear that it will be positive but I have almost convinced myself that he has it or that I do. I know without actually getting results back - I do not have the disease. But every time I see the words HIV/AIDS i feel very numb inside and feel like I'm dirty and filthy. I have not had intercourse with anyone new since him and have I guess just been celibate. I have another fear of passing it off to someone if I do have it. It's really aggrovating because I'm currently in school in a prepatory course to get into nursing and I will have to be tested to actually start my nursing program but I am just so afraid. I know once I get my result back I'll be fine but I'm just so scared inside that I don't even know what to do. It makes it even worse than a month ago I was with the same guy hanging out wiht some other and we all bunched up in a taxi and one of my other friends was sitting on him and he made a AIDS reffered joke. My heart seriously stopped working for a couple seconds because I didn't know what to do or say. He claims and say he goes to the doctors often to check for stds and that he never got a positive result which I for sure know that is complete ********.
I also became veyr paranoid when I got a few pimples on my back, my thyroids under my jaw were swollen, I've had nasal issues for years -but it just got really weird and I became really paranoid with that as well. Nothing has changed with my vagina in terms of discharge but It almost feels as if it's falling out. I have no idea if this is because of the lack of sex because I have never been this long without sex since i've lost my virginity, and I did have tonsilitis, .. You know just listing all these things does make me feel a bit crazy. Because those aren't really anything that normal people don't coincidentally have. BUT, I am just really paranoid about it.
I think my whole mentality has changed since I broke up with my ex boyfriend 3 years ago, I just completely am not the same person mentally. I;m so over emotional and paranoid. (SORRY i got a bit off topic at the end. )
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Avatar_m_tn
How to get rid of anxiety while in the window period. I have tested at 6 and 9 weeks ab elisa and they were negative but 3 months is conclusive. How to stay sane in this period?
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2091399_tn?1354908671
I'm pretty sure I'm completely bat-**** insane crazy because of this and will never be "normal" again.  I'm completely out of my mind.  It's crazy the mind can make you think all of this stuff and make it real.  I'm out of my mind completely.  Frick off OCD and HIV!!!!
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Start a new post with details please.  Thanks.  JGF
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Avatar_m_tn
i have felt the same, i dont know how it works but something that helps me out is trying to think of happy things in the future, all of your anxiety is coming from imagining some bad scenario in the future, thats how it works, try to always keep your mind on some positive future sccenario :)
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello Everyone,

I have the same problem as everyone on here. It actually really helps to read these posts. I was on the Prevention forum and i just couldn't stop reading.

Anyway mine started back in 2011 when I had protected sex with this girl. I found later she has been around. She slept with heaps of people and then i got obsessed because the condom slipped out. I got tested twice once at 3 months and then at 6 months. Both were negative.

My obsession continued then i seeked further help with a psychologist and even more strange my gf at the time was one, but never told her. I got better after 8 months of sessions.

Now as of a week ago I had protected oral sex (receiver). Now I'm stressing, got a sore throat, my stomach is killing me. I have read countless of post NO RISK, LOW RISK. I started to remember my sessions to make me feel better. It's helped, but not cured YET.

It seems each time I have a sexual encounter i started thing about this disease (you noticed i have mentioned that 3 letter word yet)? It's because i can't say it, i don't even read it. Anyways sorry if this is long, but i just wanted to share my experiences.

Cheers
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Avatar_f_tn
One of the things we gotta do as OCD sufferers is to trust the advice the experts give us, and as soon as we start trusting the experts we can get on with our lives. The more we do our checking behaviours or 'rituals' the more we convince our subconcious that this stuff is a real threat, meaning we don't trust the Dr's advice. We need to decide what are 'OCD thoughts' and tolerate some level of 'uncertainty' or we will never get better. I read a book called 'Break Free From OCD' which has helped a lot and also recommend anyone to see a counsellor/psychologist as you need the support. Also tell someone in your family/friends who will help get you through it. I had a phobia about 'imagining' needles in the street but found anytime I told my Dad about these 'visions' he told me that it was my OCD talking and where we live the chances are its never ever going to be a needle. After a few weeks I stopped imagining the needles and feel much less stress in every day life. Its the same for any scenario which causes our OCD to activate.
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Avatar_f_tn
You can get your life back! The OCD is bullying you, there is a great book called Break Free From OCD, it has done wonders for me. Also get some support from a therapist and family/friends. It really helps to rationalise this stuff by talking to someone who hasn't got OCD and see how the world really works without OCD.
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3379622_tn?1369728311
I talked to a sex worker and now I have obsessed with having HIV by talking. How can I eradicate this out of my mind because I am tired of thinking about it, thinking about getting hiv through talking.My gf and parents tell me that I'm ok, nothing to worry, but you know, it's not simple like that. Any advice?
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Avatar_f_tn
Sex with prostitute a year ago, then after 3 months HIV negative then after 16 months HIV negative. Am I free from HIV as do jot have any history of fever in hthe period.I m willing to know the next step.
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1699033_tn?1405352675
First let's look at the facts.  Do you know the HIV status of this prostitute?  if not, then you cannot automatically assume she was HIV positive.  BUT you did the right thing in getting tested if you had unprotected sex with her.  A negative HIV test after 3 months means you are not infected....a negative at 16 months...you DO NOT have HIV.  There are no next steps as far as HIV goes because you cannot possibly have it.   Your next step is to see your doctor and look for other possible sources of the fever.  Take care.  
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3379622_tn?1369728311
why do you say that ".a negative at 16 months...you DO NOT have HIV" while 3 months test can lead to a conclusion that you do not have HIV
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Basically what I am saying is that that a 16 months test is overkill.  When you text negative a 3 months you are negative and don't need to test anymore.  
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Avatar_f_tn
i live in a place where you have to do the test and it is public not cnfidentiality. I need to do it in the next 10 days. I have never ever had anal sex or even vaginal sex in the time since the last test. but lots of oral sex with mostly protected and deep kissing. Little fingering. Going gently crazy like folks are talking and I am not listening. if any of you can do anything to soften this thanks. Surprisingly anything you say will help.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey

If you read advice on the HIV Prevention forum the Doctors say it has to be sexual intercourse (anal or vaginal). You could go on the forum and do a search for kissing/oral sex to see what comes up....but most things I read they say not to be worried.
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Avatar_f_tn
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Lilly is right...there is no need to test but you say you "have to do the test."  What does that mean?  Where do you live that you are being made to do a test?  
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Avatar_f_tn
freind, you don't want to know you have to do it annually and everyone has to do it and the result is sort of announced...it's the law tell me do you think I am safe...never had anal or vaignal sex since the last test but oral yes, largely protected no ***. Since you shwoed concern
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1699033_tn?1405352675
You do not fall under the guidelines for being at risk for HIV infection.  So no, I do not think from what you have written that you have anything to worry about.  Take care.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks mate, here is hoping...I suppose will keep gnawing at it but your kind words helped and lily,too. Good job.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi there! I'm so happy i found this site. In my country there are no sites like this. Nobody talks as open about OCDs as here.
I can relate to eveyone of you and wish for every each of you all the best in fighting this horrible OCD.

My OCD started about 2-3 years ago when i had protected sex with a guy. I was pretty young, growing up in kind of a bubble. Newer been proparly informed about STD's. After we had sex he told me he might be HIV infected. That was the worst night of my life. My bubble and nice uncaring life just kinda "poof" exploded.
Since then i'm having irrational thoughts about getting infected. I developed several "rituals" to prevent getting infected such as washing my hands as soon as i touch something thats suspect to me. (I know that i can't be infected just from touching something. infact i know everything about HIV, but there is always the what if?)
This whole fear drives me AND others around me crazy. I try to control everything around me. I have no social life anymore although i live in a serious relationship. One of my biggest fears is to hurt him.
It feels uncredibly good just to write this down, since this is the first time i feel like i'm not alone with this problem.
I would be really greatful if someone could give me some tips how to start to fight this or ease the irrational thoughts.
I wish you all the best. (and sorry for my english)
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi I  a gay male and only been the bottom partner twice in my life and top a couple of times to all with condoms but never have I uses protection for oral sex and I have not been tested for over 2 years cause I worry I could be the one in 10000 to get Infected through oral all I do is sit and look through the prevention site for the last couple of years it's nice to see I'm not alone
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Oral sex is not a method of transmission for HIV.  The saliva is not a condusive environment for the virus to live.  
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Avatar_f_tn
As much as I read that on hear and understand it I still think what of I made a mistake somewhere or the condom Didn work properly or when havin sex some time get ejaculate on me I worry it got in a cut or uretha or something I no it sounds stupid but after having every symptom going its hard to stop the worry but nice knowing I'm not alone
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Avatar_m_tn
I can now relate to this, when it is something that would not have occurred to me a few months ago.

Depending on who you ask or exactly what happened, I had either negligible or substantial risk from (gay) sexual contact (including definitely acquiring a penile STD in the process).

A few weeks' later, I developed suspicious symptoms (some of which I still have after more than 3 months).

I tested negative at 11, 42, 51 and most recently 86 days post event, all with 4th generation tests (which are those routinely used in the UK's NHS).

All doctors / nurses / experts have said "the book is closed" - I am 100% HIV negative.

Do I believe them?  Rationally: yes.

Can my head let this go?  No.

I had diagnosed myself having contracted the STD and then the suspicious symptoms.

How to let this go???
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Avatar_m_tn
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i couldn't find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, i always spend a lot to buy a HIV drugs from

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across a great post of !Michelle! who truly said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed that very week through

the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime i really wonder why people called him Papa Zuma zuk, i

never knew it was all because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so i quickly

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from him, so i did all things only to see that at the very day which he said i will be healed, all the strength that has

left me before rush back and i becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so i

will to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said i am HIV negative, i am very amazed and happy

about the healing Dr Zuma zuk gave to me from the ancient part of Africa, you can email him now for your own healing too

at: ***@**** or call him on +2348078139254

thank you sir for healing me from HIV, i am Matilda Morgan
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Avatar_f_tn
I had unprotected sex while on  my period about 5 months ago, in april, but got a test done in February before have sex, and I am married, didn't mean to do it, but I did and I am guilty, he is clean, and so was I, is there a chance that I still can get it?  I am going for testing again this monday, I am so paranoid, because i got head cold in which is lightly but have lots of pressure on my head and ears and its freaking me out thing of that 3 letter word.  My husband is fine, he has not shown any ill signs of any kind, knock on wood.  I love him and will never hurt him again.  Any advice please!!!
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1699033_tn?1405352675
You only have a chance of getting it if your partner is HIV positive.  Do you know the HIV status of the guy you had sex with?  If he is negative, then no of course you cannot get it.  Do you know his status as far as STDs go in general?  Because you may want to consider getting teseting for other STDs just in case.  

You are obviously stressed and stress can weaken the immune system and make you more susceptible to things like a head cold.  
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Hello all,

I am so glad I found this site as I thought I was the only person who had extreme OCD about HIV.

Unlike many of the people who post on this site, I am someone who was afraid of having HIV because I actually had unprotected sex. I do not have fear of getting it from door knobs or tissues, but actual fear based on the facts that one can get HIV from unprotected sex.

I got tested at 15 weeks post my "scare" and it came back negative. However, this didn't mean anything to me as I continued to fear that I would still contract HIV or that the test was wrong. I realized that I was falling into a pattern of believing my own fears over scientific fact that I did not have HIV. Going on the CDC website and reading that you can be positive you do not have HIV after 12 weeks gave me relief for only a few hours before I started doubting an extremely reliable source. The main reason why this anxiety and OCD behavior started is because soon after that "scare" I met an incredible man that I love very much and I feared that I was going to give it to him and ruin his life forever. The reason behind my OCD was not necessarily that I had HIV but because I feared the guilt of knowing that I could have given it to someone else had I contracted it. (I included where I got my information from the CDC website below.)

I urge all of you to seek help or educate yourself on the facts. I know how hard it is having this debilitating problem of constant urges to have your blood drawn for yet another test or reading all the symptoms of HIV and being so worked up about it that you actually cause yourself to become sick and display certain symptoms.

I wish all of you luck and pray that you all make a full recovery. Knowing that we all make mistakes and we are not alone in this is very helpful. God bless.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/testing.html
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Hi, I went to a strip club some 40 days ago and I went to a lap dance. While the dancer was dancing touching all my parts and while she was hitting my penis which is inside my pants with her butt, my *** came out in my pants and she was also wearing her underwear too. After I released my *** inside my pants, she sat in my lap with her underwear for some time. I did not have any kind of sex with her or any kind of ********. My sperm came out in my pants because of the touch and she was wearing her underwear too.

I developed a great fear that I will be infected with HIV and so went to a doctor and got my HIV tested after 7 days of this incident and got the result as Negative. But still that fear is there and got again tested after 30 days and got Negative.

Do I need to worry about this as I am suffering a lot internally as I have a sweet loving wife and daughter. Please help me......
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Please reply to my above concern...
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Sorry...this is a very old thread and I usually don't monitor them.  Anyway you have to have ACTUAL intercourse with a person who is HIV positive to have any chance at all of becoming HIV positive.  I want you to think about this statistic.  If you take a syringe with HIV tainted blood and poke yourself with it, you have a 0.03 percent chance of become HIV positive...that is how flipping hard it is to get.  You cannot possibly be HIV positive.  The testing is unnecessary.  We are not talking the flu virus here which is highly contagious.  HIV cannot even survive outside of a host (person).  It hits air and dies.  

No analysis of this night is needed unless of course this is stemming from guilt but that is a different matter.  You didn't have sex with this girl.  I'm sure a lot of guys would get aroused by having a lap dance.  
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thank u very much. iam happy now
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I do it via therapist & meds. 99% of the time it works. 1% not, like now because I'm waiting on blood work. I'm also getting re-regulated on my meds. When my incident happened, I was off my meds & that's why the whole situation keeps playing out in my head, over & over. It's also why I haven't slept w/the guy either - OCD is stopping me amongest other things.

1 month ago I fooled around with a potential new boyfriend (mutual masturbation - no risk I have learned through this site) I gave him a hand job & he came on my hand - that hand was ok. It was the OTHER hand I started flipping out about. I had a day old paper cut on it & the day after the handjob, I found a scrape of the topside thumb. Skin intact, jagged & red, no blood. But here's the kicker, the sperm never touched the hand directly, I touched the hankie that had hand lotion (with alcohol content) & his sperm. I had an anxiety attack, refused to talk to the guy, was ready to go get the PEP from the emergency room. My sister was able to calm me down & get the story out of me. She's not a medical professional & said she was pretty sure the virus dies when it hits the air. She found an HIV forum & specialist & emailed them my story & got a reply. NO RISK AT ALL. I then joined this website & started to read about HIV.
This past week I had a GYN appointment where I had blood testing & yes again, HIV ANXIETY. I panicked myself into believing the results would come back positive.From what??? I had NO oral, vaginal, or anal sex!!! Logically I know that IF, IF, IF, this guy had something he wasn't aware of, there was NO WAY I could have caught anything by touching that hankie. Two reasons: the virus hit the air & was weakened & no longer infectious AND it was mixed w/the hand lotion that had alcohol content. The alcohol content would have weakened if not killed the virus altogether.
I keep telling myself that no matter what HIV is NON INFECTIOUS when it hits the air & even if my hands were all cut up, it is not a way that HIV is transmitted. I repeat it over & over & over hoping it sticks
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I didn't even think I had OCD! But that's not what I'm worried about. Wow everyone on here seems to be sharing the same kinds of scares as I am although I think my case is a bit different. I have once had unprotected sex with this girl and a few weeks later (abroad) I had protected sex with a prostitute, I don't know what in the world I was thinking...I know that for a fact that I used a codom but I'm not sure if somehow some of her vag fluids remained on the inside tip of the codom (like an amateur I almost put it on the wrong side but the without washing my hands I touched the inside while trying to reverse the condom). So now a few months later I'm scared senseless and to read that some of you guys have dealt with these kinds of things for 5+ years, that is wayy discouraging, but also somewhat encouraging.
I haven't been tested yet, and I don't want to even though I'm experiencing symptoms of HIV, tho I also read that there's a thing known as a "psychological fear of hiv" that could be causing these symptoms. So I'm not really looking for any answers here I just wanted to let out all of what's been bothering me for over 4 months now and it's good to see that I'm not the only person going through something like this.
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Hi - there's also a HIV prevention forum on here http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV-Prevention/show/79

This is what I was told:
HIV is not transmitted by masturbation.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child
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Hey All!

I guess I am also quite paranoid about getting HIV even though I always protect myself during sex. But there is one thing which keeps annoying me. About 3 weeks ago I went to a mud-sex party i didnt have anal or oral sex with anyone but there was some anal fingerplay(me: passive) in the mud pool. Now i am thinking is it possible to get infected through mud? I dont think that someone *** in there but even if they did i know that hiv virus can not survive out of the body more then a minute. Is that true?

What do you think?

BTW sorry for my broken English but im German you know..
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6456238_tn?1384753680
HIV is not transmitted by masturbation.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child
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you all are not hiv infected.you all have common side effect of GAD.generalized anxiety syndrome.just stay focused.your anxiety shoots up in intervals but u go calm at the next minute.its pure brain chemical works.nothing to do with hiv.anxiety is a condition that can even generate physical illness or illusions.when u become so irritated or overwhelmed dont wait just go to an open area or a crowded place.just walk a lot.think YOUR BRAIN TRICKS YOU BUT NEVER SURRENDER.WHEN IT SAYS YES YOU ARE SAY BACK "NO THE HELL I AM NOT"
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i have this fear and i hate it because even through ii know its irrational I am still terrified. However i cant stop getting checked cause im so sure i have caught hiv i go to get tested every three months.
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Hi there fellow people with fears and nursegirl

My way has been awfull. Had an exposure and then the hell was ready and I mean HELL. First the way to first tests: a bit of relief from 8 weeks negative tests(duo and antibody) but a lot of surffing as you know.

It's crazy, you know the surffing is bad but the desperate need to know more and the need to know if you are safe is great. Even if you try to keep it on the experts sites and official forums. But you just want to close every possibilities. This is tricky since even official sites vary with the info and guides. Then there's researches as well. Nobody wants to be the rare case of late seroconverter etc.

My hell always became worse with surffing and symptoms. The more you surf the less you know because of the amount of crossing info. And your mind selects what you believe not always your rational sense. Fear is very sneaky when there's any door open in the form of info.

Symptom always triggered my fear. Often something that i felt is very unusual for me. And that is the truth as well. Night sweating. Don't remember having ever. White toungue. weird. Muscle twitching that is still present. Even those sore throre and stuff happened. There has been so much of it and so unusual things. And the panicing thing here is that many of those came after those tests. Lates being 13-14 weeks after exposure. Then you think, damn so tests couldn't pick the infection. Just when you thought you are in the clear.

What I have done is seeing psychiatric nurse. I've even needed to go few times to psychiatric emergency. Sometimes it helps sometimes makes me feel worse. I've seen different kind of doctors/specialists and they have done many tests but nothing has occured and this doesn't really help. It makes you circle back for hiv possibility. Late seroconverting or something.

And then you surf about the subject. This circle should be cut. Then some people provide info and cases yes this could happen and some say you have tested conclusive your symptoms are something else. Well not according doctors. And eventually even experts seem to back up with the comments saying well could happen rarely but im not interested.

Im really interested in talking about a creative way of building your route away from the hell of fears. I've really holding myself from living and that's bad.

Im sorry about the messy and long discussion start.
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Do you others find that it feels like the subject follows you a lot and is everywhere(magazines,news etc.)?

This is a very stressing thing for me.
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Do you others find that it feels like the subject follows you a lot and is everywhere(magazines,news etc.)?

This is a very stressing thing for me.
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I  am  suffering from this problem since 4 yrs. And still I can't sleep sometimes. All my 12 blood test comes negative but I can't trust . I still can't be sure that I m not infected because  everytime sample to cut off value increases . From searching web I came to know that it is nothing negative result is my main concern.  I think I have ocd. Can anyone help about my concern. Glad to know that there are many like me. I think we csn solve this by discussing as we know us better thsn anyone
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I  am  suffering from this problem since 4 yrs. And still I can't sleep sometimes. All my 12 blood test comes negative but I can't trust . I still can't be sure that I m not infected because  everytime sample to cut off value increases . From searching web I came to know that it is nothing negative result is my main concern.  I think I have ocd. Can anyone help about my concern. Glad to know that there are many like me. I think we csn solve this by discussing as we know us better thsn anyone
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4 years is a long time to be having this problem.  There is a fine line between HIV anxiety and OCD so I cannot say what you have.  Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist for this problem?  Youcan learn ways to counter your thinking, to counter the doubt that you have.  Every test you do is you giving into the thought and when you do that, the thought doesn't go away.  At some point you have to let it go and say "whatever" and move on and you need to learn the techniques to do that.  There is also medication available and you may want to discuss that as well.  
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Truthfully, i was tested HIV + positive last 3years. I keep on managing the drugs i usually purchase from the health care agency to keep me healthy and strenghtful, i tried all i can too make this disease leave me alone, but unfortunately, it keep on eating up my life, this is what i caused myself, for allowing my fiance make sex to me insecurely without protection, although i never knew he is HIV positive. So last few 4days i came in contact with a lively article on the internet on how this Powerful Herb Healer get her well and healed. So as a patient i knew this will took my life 1 day, and i need to live with other friends and relatives too. So i copied out the Dr Zuma zuk the traditional healer’s email id: ***@**** and I mailed him immediately, in a little while he mail me back that i was welcome to his temple home were by all what i seek for are granted. I was please at that time. And i continue with him, he took some few details from me and told me that he shall get back to me as soon as he is through with my work. I was very happy as heard that from him. So Yesterday, as i was just coming from my friends house, Dr Zuma zuk called me to go for checkup in the hospital and see his marvelous work that it is now HIV negative, i was very glad to hear that from him, so i quickly rush down to the nearest hospital to found out, only to hear from my hospital doctor called Browning Lewis that i am now HIV NEGATIVE. I jump up at him with the test note, he ask me how does it happen and i recede to him all i went through with Dr Zuma zuk I am now glad, so i am a gentle type of person that need to share this testimonies to everyone who seek for healing, because once you get calm and quiet, so the disease get to finish your life off. So i will advice you contact him today for your healing at the above details: Email ID:***@**** CONTACT HIM NOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE:***@****  AS HE IS SO POWERFUL AND HELPFUL TO ALL THAT HAVE THIS SICKNESS
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werwerwerw
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I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread as I feel I have something to add.
About 2 years ago I had counselling for OCD and general anxiety. I was being bombarded with repetitive thoughts and could not break the cycle. The counselling was a great help and although I'm not 100% "cured" I don't have my daily routine dominated by irrational thoughts.
About 2 months before I started counselling I discovered that a gay friend of mine has HIV. Within a few days I was scanning the internet regarding how easy or not it is to catch HIV. Although most commentators (those in the know) would say its not possible as long as you are not having unprotected sex with someone with HIV or somehow drawing their blood into your own, I was not able to accept this and I would almost look for comments which suggested otherwise. Basically this whole thing dominated my thoughts for months. The problem was not really the subject of HIV, but it was more my inability to stop worrying about things! This was just the latest thing to become paranoid about!
With the help of Sertraline (anti - anxiety drug) and changing the way I think about things (helped through counselling) I can honestly say I don't worry about things any where near the way I used to, and if I do I quickly resolve an issue running through my head.
NOW, HERES THE IMPORTANT BIT. I MUST HAVE HUNG OUT WITH MY GAY MATE ABOUT 20 TIMES WITHIN THE PAST YEAR. I'VE BEEN TO GAY BARS, USED THE TOILETS IN GAY BARS, ACCIDENTLY DRUNK MY HIV FRIENDS DRINK WHEN WE GOT THEM MIXED UP, SHAKEN HANDS, HAD A BIT OF SPIT HIT MY FACE (YUCK!) WHICH MAY EVEN HAVE ENTERED MY MOUTH, BORROWED HIS DEODRANT, HAD A FEW CURRIES WITH HIM AND HIS MATES (ABOUT 1/2 OF WHICH HAVE HIV), KISSED ON THE CHEEK............................. PRETTY MUCH DONE EVERYTHING NON SEXUAL WITH HIM (I'M NOT GAY, BY THE WAY) OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
LAST MONTH I HAD A CHECK UP AT THE CLINIC WHICH INCLUDED A HIV TEST.............................WAIT FOR IT...............................................................THE RESULTS..................................................................................................................H I V NEGATIVE!
SO, ALTHOUGH I UNDERSTAND IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE KNOW THAT IF GETTING HIV WAS RELATIVELY EASY THEN I SURELY WOULD BE HIV POSITIVE, AND I'M NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOPE THIS HELPS
With
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Oh my gosh Optimus303,

I have been developing the exact same anxiety problems about HIV.  I'm obsessed with looking up possible routes of transmission.  Like today, I did laundry at the laundromat and I came back inside and washed my hands really well before washing my face which has acne.  I was then terrified that somehow hiv was on my hands when I washed my face and I contracted it.  I'm also terrified of public health clinics and once I got a test done, I was so afraid that the nurse had unclean gloves when she drew my blood.  Everyday I come up with some new irrational idea in my head that sticks with me for days to weeks.  Sometimes I decide to put all my worries aside and just live, but most times when I'm home alone all the negative worries come flooding back in my mind.  I do believe we have a disorder that requires help and determination to overcome.  It's a horrible way to live, but I think that talking to people who have similar irrational fears is helpful.  I'm a broke college student, so I can't afford real counseling.  

One thing that I find helpful is to ask yourself what the outcome of having the disease is.  Are you afraid of losing someone you love?  Are you afraid of not having children?  Are you afraid of being given a time limit of your life?  These are all things I am afraid of...especially losing the man I love.  I used to not really worry about it because my own life was my main concern, but when I fell in love the other person became more important to me than my own life.  The fear of HIV is actually not a fear of the disease at all, it's a multitude of fears that are built up in your mind and need an escape.  We all need people we can talk to about certain issues.  We cannot rely on one person to understand all of our ideas.  We need some kind of support group.  

Also, moving to a beautiful place where nature is greater than the city is a good idea.  Whenever we go camping, most of my worries fly away.  It's pretty hard to be a germaphobe when you're outside with nature.  Definitely don't get a job at a hospital or public health clinic.  It will make things crazy.  

Exercise also helps immensely because stress (cortisol levels in particular)  is the main cause of anxiety.  Exercise fights/gets rid of those built up hormones.  We let things build up in our minds and do not release them, so the negativity comes out in very weird ways.  

Best wishes to you and overcoming your anxiety.  It can be debilitating.  Seek ways to figure out the "real" causes of your worries and start from there.  Openly discuss the real worries with the people involved with the worries.  Like if you're afraid of losing someone, tell them how important they are to you and understand that you're probably just as important to them.  Have confidence in yourself enough to believe that others love you.  

You have to love yourself before you will ever believe that others love you.  


~Shoop
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Avatar_m_tn
i am dr zuma zuk the spiritual herbal healer and a experience man and i am specialize those problem below

1. cure HIV/AID or related illness
2. Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time
3. Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc.
4. Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.
5. Read all your problems before you even mention them to him
6. Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away
7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution
8. Eliminate in family fights
9. Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities
10. Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart
11. I destroy and can send back the Nikolos (water spirit, sleepless nite, up presses by wicked powers,) if requested
12. heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation
13. Get you marriage to the lover of your choice
14. Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you.
15. Bring supernatural luck into
16. Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
17.Get your scam money back
18. if any want Interested popular in music
19. if any want  Interested popular in football club

you can reach me here ***@**** or visit http://herbalisthome.webs.com
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