My OCD is under some amount of control. I am sick of my OCD though. I have been taking medication and have seen both a psychiatist and psycologist. My OCD started with fear of acquiring HIV from blood left on inanimated objects like door knobs, door handles, elevator buttons etc and then accidently picking my nose or rubbing my eyes. I went for multiple HIV tests and all were negative.Now the fear is mostly about Hep C and not HIV. About 2 weeks ago as I was going down the subway station I opened the door to the subway and feel something wet on my thumb. I touch my thumb with the forefinger and noticed some clear liquid with two small red spots. I got anxious and immidetaly went to a cafe nearby and washed my hands thoroughly. However, the fact that I had gotten something liquidy with small red spots that looked like small amount of blood is that might be spread on my finger/thumb I felt very very uneasy.
I have since then tried to calm myself down and tell myself that I washed my hands, I don't know for sure if that was blood, If it was blood it should all have been red and I did not put the finger in my nose or rubbed my eyes. However, I did feel that if I had accidently touched my my other hand with the finger/thumb that had the liquid on it and then accidently picked my nose or rubbed my eyes I might be at risk. To this I feel that I didn't notice any such thing happening so its as good as saying that one might pick up a bit of blood from somewhere without noticing and picked nose or rubbed eyes and exposure doesn't happen like this.
I have tried to explain myself that their is no chance of HIV and HEP C too is not probable as there would have been cases reported if HEP C would be transmitted in such ways. I do realize that medical studies state that HEP C can remain active and infectious for up to 4 days but isn't it true that the study has been done only at room temperature. Its one thing to do a study but I am surprised that most health Care websites always list needles and blood transfusion as the primary transmission methods. I feel like there is a disconnect between what studies have said and what the transmission methods are listed. I'd appreciate it if someone could bridge the GAP.
One more thing....I know testing is just a ritual for me to pacify my OCD and so I really don't want to test as I want to get rid of OCD. Please help me logically get out of this nonsense.
Hi there. I'm not an expert on HepC routes of transmission but I'm thinking that if it were that easy to get, then we would all have it. In any event, are you still seeing your prescribing doctor? You are saying the medication is helping but it doesn't seem to be helping to the degree that you need it to. You just wrote two paragraphs trying to debunk your thought about the "blood" on the door and how you may or may not contract HepC So I have to ask, did you learn cognitive behavioral therapy when you were seeing the therapist? Did you learn how to say enough and then calm yourself down with controlled breathing? And yes, testing is part of the problem. You have to say no to testing. It only perpetuates the cycle of OCD thinking.
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