OCD with poor insight...confused

[ocme]

I am currently dealing with purely obsessional OCD focused on obsessing over the fact that I can't stop obsessing which will lead to endless ruminations. I know this sounds confusing but it is thoroughly anxiety provoking to me as I am fearing that I may lose control over my mind and end up a dysfunctional person in a mental hospital. This is how the fear plays out in my head.

My question relates to OCD with poor insight (overvalued ideation). How do I know if I have OCD with poor insight? The endless rumination that I do is obviously abnormal behavior but in context of having OCD it is not. Therefore is it reasonable for me to feel that given a diagnoses of OCD this excessive rumination and worry is actually a reasonable behavior for me? If so would this mean that my OCD is of the poor insight type?

I am scared of this poor insight type of OCD in that it is said to be treatment resistant that it why I am now obsessing about it. The possibility that I could have a treatment resistant type of OCD makes my therapy useless and scares me to death!

[JGF25]

Honestly, I have never heard of "poor insight".  OCD is fear based and control based.  We are great catastrophizers and you fearing that you will never be able to stop is you catastrophizing your diagnosis of OCD.  

This is what I think and mind you I am no professional but rather a fellow sufferer like you.  We start with one thought and it gets blown up and out of proportion and we are stuck on it and we over and forward think it until we catastrophize it.  And that fear stays with us unless we can get some closure on the thought.  Sometimes we flip through thoughts like a spinning top with no end in sight.  "Well if this bad thing happened then what about this and this and this and OMG I feel like a looney tunes."  So obsessing about everything is actually a rational behavior for someone in your condition kind of does fit.  It is irrational thinking but par for the course for a person with OCD.  

Therapy is not useless and obviously you should continue it.  But what you have done is given yourself an uncurable type of OCD in your mind and therefore therapy is going to be harder because you have to find a way to overcome this thinking.  And what is the worst case scenario for a person with OCD....you got it...the mental hospital.  What if I have to be institutionalized?   How would I work?  How would I support my family?  Would I lose my job?  on and on and on and on...UGH.  Oh trust me, I have been there, and I too thought the same thing as you.  Who wants that stigma attached to them.  But you know what, I bet people feel a whole hell of a lot better when they get there because they feel safe.  

When I was at my worst I thought my God I am going to have to do this controlled breathing for the rest of my life, deal with these thoughts of wanting to hurt people I love, etc forever.  But that is just the crisis situation talking.  When you finally do get some much needed rest from your own mind either through CBT or medication, you are able to look at new thoughts with a different perspective. You find a way to not let them take on a life of their own.  You stop them in their tracks.  

For instance....I have been that spinning top and then I got better.  Therefore, in my mind, I will always be able to get better.  Yes a stressor might come my way that throws me for a loop but I will only be looney tunes for a while and then I will get it under control (last time by a medication increase) and be myself again.  I KNOW I WILL GET BETTER.  Just like I know if I have a panic attack I'm not going to die.  I'm not going to crash my car.  Yeah, I may feel uncomfortable for a while but it will go away so why should I fear it to begin with.  When this type of thinking starts I nip it with a "bring it on" statement.  If I have one I have one and I will come out the other side fine.  So usually I don't have them anymore.  

You don't have a treatment resistant type of OCD.  YOu just haven't learned how to help yourself yet.  

[ocme]

PLEASE DISREGARD MY PREVIOUS POST AS I WORDED IT INCORRECTLY.

I am currently dealing with purely obsessional OCD focused on obsessing over the fact that I can't stop obsessing which will lead to endless ruminations. I know this sounds confusing but it is thoroughly anxiety provoking to me as I am fearing that I may lose control over my mind and end up a dysfunctional person in a mental hospital. This is how the fear plays out in my head.

My question relates to OCD with "poor insight" (overvalued ideation). How do I know if I have OCD with poor insight? The fear that I will never be able to stop obsessing over things is obviously abnormal behavior to someone without OCD but in context of having OCD it is not. Therefore is it reasonable for me to feel that given a diagnoses of OCD this obsessing about everything is actually a rational behavior for someone in my condition? If so would this mean that my OCD is of the poor insight type?

I am scared of this poor insight type of OCD in that it is said to be treatment resistant that is why I am now obsessing about it. The possibility that I could have a treatment resistant type of OCD makes my therapy useless and scares me to death!