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3159640 tn?1430907300

Obsessing! needle worries

This is a follow up to my Beach posting.  Two days later and I can't stop thinking about this beach episode.  I worry so much because I did not check my toe to see if it was bleeding.  I may have taken a cursory look, but in all the OCD agitation, I can't even remember.

Basically I am worried that because if my toe was bleeding perhaps I was at greater risk for contracting hiv from a discarded needle.  

I am so worked up by this.  Wondering if I got HIV from the sharp stab to my toe.  I did not see a syringe, but then who knows if I looked enough for evidence of the "syringe".

How do I let this go?  I can't stand not having 100 percent certainty.
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Avatar universal
The worst thing for OCD is asking for reassurance, the OCD will manage to come up with more and more what ifs.  The Internet is one of the worst things for OCD and in your case it is your compulsion. The key to tackling OCD is to resist the compulsion. Hard I know.  

If it was HIV it would be something else, the HIV fear is how your OCD manifests itself at the moment.

You have been told repeatedly that even IF you did stand on a needle on the beach you would not be at risk.  HIV transfer needs to be immediate and direct into your bloodstream not a scratch.  Even blood in a needle is not viable for very long, it only survives a short while, not hours or days minutes.

Have you discussed your meds with your prescribing doctor? If zoloftnis not working there are others and sometimes combinations of medications can be used.

OCD can be beaten but you have to put the work in and ignoring what you are being told about HIV transmission is not helping you.

HIV is very very difficult to get and not something you need to worry about unless you are having unprotected sex or shooting up street drugs IMMEDIATELY after somebody else.  Nothing else matters.
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3159640 tn?1430907300
I also think that reassurance seeking via internet is a mistake.  It may help you, but then you become dependent on it or it makes things worse.
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3159640 tn?1430907300
Are there other medications that work better for OCD?  I have tried celexa, Paxil and one other I can't think of the name.  None of those worked.  I would love to find something that knocked the volume of the OCD worries down.
Helpful - 0
2083175 tn?1336082312
JG is absoultely right in what she is saying.

The "what if's" are not going to do anything for you, because we can "what if" the most impossible situations into our reality.

If the reassurance seeking is not helping then you have to take a step back. I myself am an Internet searcher and I usually find that it helps, but I do know that it is a very slippery slope. You are not going to find any information on the internet and we cannot give you any information to make you feel better, because it is your OCD that is causing this not the actual fear of the needle.

Yes the fear is there, but it is driven by your OCD. You have to calm that down before you are able to let go of the thoughts in your head. Like JG said, try breathing. If you are stressed and high strung in panic mode you are not going to accomplish much from this. Breath.

I agree that you should try looking into new medication. From what I understand Zoloft is more targeted towards depression rather than OCD. I do not believe that medication helps OCD, I believe the medication helps the anxiety that we are caused because of OCD and when we are not anxious and scared we are able to think things through logically, and without the anxiety looming we are able to just let go.
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3159640 tn?1430907300
Thank you all.  Most helpful and kind.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Listen to JG, she knows her stuff.  Instead of going online and searching about HIV or needle sticks, put that energy and time torwards searching about OCD resources, CBT tips, etc.  The best choice would be to walk away from your computer for a while all togther.

Even you said it yourself...the reassurance you may get from us on the HIV forum only lasts a moment, then you're right back to "what iffing".  You'll ALWAYS find a way, even if it's crazy, that you could have been exposed...that's the OCD.

Fear is not FACT.  JG always says..and it's SO useful...write down the FACTS, not your fears or the what if's, then when you get anxious...pull out that list and remind yourself of the facts.

To keep entering into conversations about HIV is not helping you.  It's just like the checking for a needle...it's reinforcing that irrational worry.

PLEASE heed what JG is telling you.  She has lived through this herself and knows what she is talking about.  You don't need more discussions about HIV...you need more discussions about OCD.

Good luck to you.
Helpful - 0
3159640 tn?1430907300
Also, another thing in seeking reassurance from folks on this site is that no matter how many times they say no risk, except maybe if it is plunged into a vein, I will convince myself that it did indeed plunge into a vein and now I have HIV.  So reassurance seeking usually backfires.  And if it does bring down the anxiety, it is only temporary, and a crutch, because it never teaches me how to live with uncertainty.
Helpful - 0
3159640 tn?1430907300
I think part of my problem is that I have spent the last two days googling needlestick on beach until I am driving myself crazy.  There is no reassurance there because there is always one more "what if" question.    I have been told repeadetly by my former therapist that the internet is a big NO NO for seeking reassurance.  Of course I am sure that it could be possible to get hiv in this manner, but is it likely?  I think it is my OCD that has blown this way out of proportion.

I do have klonopin and did take a pill a few hours ago.  I have a call into my psychiatrist
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there....I didn't jump in on the other post because what Lola wrote was very good.  Let's not think of a needle stick but look more at your irrational thought process.  First of all, there are so many things on the beach that could have "stuck" you.  Sit down and make a list and don't include a needle.  Think shells, a sand crab...not a needle.  Now how many people walk on the beach everyday and how many people have you heard of that got HIV from a needle stick on a beach?  Absolutely no one and you are not going to be the first one.  Your mind is playing tricks on you...but you already know that.

You mentioned learning CBT and that you take zoloft.  So I'm guessing that during your CBT sessions you learned how to do controlled breathing?  Doing this will bring your heart rate back down and when that happens you will be able to think more rationally.  Also, I'm guessing you learned that in situations like this you cannot give into the impulse to "go back" and check something out.  You need to self-coach yourself through that one.  You need to say ENOUGH or STOP.  I don't care if you scream it out loud or scream it in your head....anything to shake you out of the irrational thought process and the urge to go and check on something that isn't even real.  

Now the zoloft...if you are having so much trouble right now, I'm thinking this medication isn't working for you either at all or at the current dose so that is something you need to investigate with your prescribing doctor.  It may be time for a dosage increase or time to try something else.  Also, I'm sure they can prescribe you something to take the edge off right now such as Xanax or Klonopin.  So maybe you want to talk to them about that also.  

I fall back on my CBT so often and I learned it years ago.  I think the trick is to get yourself to as calm a state as you can so that the techniques will work.  Maybe try a meditation video on Youtube.  There are some really good ones out there.  Read a book...take a walk...anything to distract your mind.  

Don't go back to the beach because then you are giving into the irrational thought and that just breeds more irrational thoughts and anxiety.  Get mad and say "ENOUGH ALREADY!"  
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Avatar universal
It doesn't matter because a syringe can't inject itself into you on it's own.IV drug users share syringes and inject directly into the vein.There's a difference.You're safe.
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3159640 tn?1430907300
The thing I am stuck on is that it did not feel like just a "*****", it felt more like when you get a needle stick like when you get a vaccine.
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Avatar universal
It makes no difference even if you were stuck by a needle because the blood on the tip of the needle is not infectious.HIV becomes inactive and therefore unable to infect you once exposed to air.
Helpful - 0
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