Hi there...again. Okay, this too I have been through. Have you figured out yet that what we kill ourselves thinking about are those things that we are afraid of the most. The HOCD is in a bit of a different realm, but the realm of being afraid we are going to hurt somebody, become a *********, etc. all lead to ruined lives and jail and what is worse than that? Just like you are not going to wake up gay, you are not going to wake up and be a *********. Just like being gay, I think pedophilia is also genetic. What makes a person attracted to the opposite sex? Our chemical makeup. What would make a person attracted to the same sex? Our chemical makeup. What would make a person attracted to children? Our chemical make up. I promise you that this is just another disturbing thought that your brain has come up with because this is what those of us with full-blown out of control OCD do. We flip the switch off something and on to something else. It is so exhausting. Any little thing can set us off...you found out her age and boom..."What-if" started. I once thought I would go blind while I was driving...really, how stupid is that. I mean you name it, we can think it.
You are not a *********, you are never going to be a *********. But what I see is a person who does not have their OCD under control and needs to work on that ASAP.
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