I have suffered from Anxiety for most of my life. Occasionally I get these obsessions in my head that I can't get rid of no matter how hard I try. My newest one is a fear that my husband is going to cheat on me. I'm afraid because they say to trust your gut when it comes to that stuff.. But my gut has been wrong before. I'm a hairstylist so if anyone tells me a story about cheating I can actually feel my blood pressure rise. I have made a fool of myself checking his wallet, his phone, phone records etc. I've never found anything .. I just can't stop and unless I get help now I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my marriage. He's told me time and time again I'm crazy and off the reservation that he would never do anything to hurt me and my kids. Has anyone ever felt this way? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Oh good grief.....you would be hard pressed to find someone on here that didn't think this way. Anything we hear can be fuel for the fire that is OCD. Things that we see as well. That is why I usually never tell people the ridiculous thoughts I have had over the last 30 years. I laugh at them now.
You are looking for closure and that is the problem. There is no closure here. He isn't cheating and so you are never going to find anything. And then that leads to the next problem with OCD which is doubt. When we do see proof of something (or lack of proof in your case) we doubt.
You are not really crazy and off the reservation but what you do have is a chemical imbalance in neurotransmitters in your brain. That is why SSRIs are prescribed for OCD. They work on the neurotransmitter serotonin. But that really isn't the first place to start. Medication is where you go when other things are not working. The first place to start is with a psychologist that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Is that a possibility for you?
Also, if a person doesn't have OCD (my husband doesn't) then it is really hard for them to understand the desperation these thoughts make us feel and the lengths that we will go to to make them stop. My last crisis situation was about 2.5 years ago and I simply said to my husband "I will be crazy for a little while but I will get better so hold my hand." He did and I did get better with a medication change. We don't really need them to understand but we do need their support while we learn about our disorder and how to help ourselves get better.
JGF 25 thank you .. It was so nice to read. I feel completely crazy that he keeps telling me he isn't doing anything.. But I keep looking.. Looking at phone records, emails, his phone when he's not looking to not find anything. But the obsession isn't going away
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