Pregnant and OCD really bad

[calmbreeze200]

Hello everyone, I am looking for some support as I am really struggling at the moment.
I have had OCD for the last few years, but it has been manageable and I have been able to live a happy and normal life. When I was pregnant with my first child I made an effort with exposure tasks and resisting all compulsions (with the help of some books), and I pretty much 'cured' myself of OCD for a while.

When my son was born, the responsibility and worry that something could go wrong led to a gradual return of my symptoms, but it was nothing major.
I am now 7 weeks pregnant with my second child and my OCD has spiralled completely out of control. 8 weeks ago I felt great. But soon after I found out I was pregnant, I became obsessed with the fact that I had caught HIV because I cleaned up a drop of blood several months ago. Even though I knew that it was pretty much impossible to get HIV this way, I became convinced that I had it and was going to infect my children. I went to the doctor's and got a test, which came back negative and I was overwhelmed with relief. I thought I would then be free to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

But not long after, I became obsessed with getting a virus from animal faeces and things being contaminated, I have thrown loads of things in the bin and spend all my time cleaning and disinfecting. At the moment, I am completely terrified of toxoplasmosis and causing damage to my unborn child. We used to have a cat (who did have worms) and even though we gave her away about a year and a half ago and now live in a different flat, I am terrified that there are worm eggs on some of my belongings. Do you think it is possible that there are worm eggs on my things? For example, my vacuum cleaner is really worrying me because it was used to hoover up a bit of cat litter and although I have cleaned the nozzle etc, there are some bits that can't really be cleaned and I am scared that there are worm eggs on them. Do you think it is possible? As I write this I realise it's all a bit far-fetched but I am so anxious that I just want to clean and disinfect everything that I think is contaminated.

I have really reached a crisis point as I'm not sleeping properly or functioning well so I am going to make an effort to resist EVERY compulsion from now on as I know that's the only way to beat this. Like I beat it before. But just now I want to throw all my belongings out because everything is contaminated!

If there were worm eggs on the vacuum cleaner could they still be active and infect me? I desperately want to throw the vacuum cleaner out but my partner would kill me if I threw something else out because I think it's contaminated :-(

Any advice appreciated x

[Raisin1694]

I'm glad to know I'm not alone, I was very bad during pregnancy with germs and all that.. But once my daughter was born it seemed like it got worse with wanting no one to even touch her, I've gotten into fights with my mother in law and she tells me to just fight it yet if only she could realize if it was that easy we all just would:p my daughter is 7 months old now and I started on cipralex just over 2 weeks ago and although the OCD is not all gone I can tell its gotten a lot better, it's like it shut something off in my brain so I can feel a little better , relax a little. I would speak with your doctor, therapy would be good I don't know about you but I wasn't willing to take anything while I was pregnant or breastfeeding, I hope this helps a little and you get some peace of mind:)

[Caprice17]

Hi I saw ur post and Thot that's me. I too suffer from ocd particularly with HIV tho mne stems from the fact that both parents have the disease so am scared to be around them I have been in crises all thru my pregnancy and it recently got worse when my mum came to stay with us just after my baby was born BIG MISTAKE as now am prisoner in my own home thinking the whole house is contaminated. Also all kinds on incidents took place making me feel I was at risk so now am scared and depressed. I have seen a therapist for a year now and it hasn't helped any tips let me know . I wrote to u also to just say I know and appreciate your battle it's real and scary kicking   it ain't easy you certainly are not alone.

[JGF25]

Hi there.  Pregnancy and OCD....well all I can say is you did a hell of a lot better than I did with it.  You are in what I term "crisis" mode and I think you need to make an appointment with the doctor and even perhaps a psychologist.  I don't think you have any viable worries but that doesn't make an OCD person feel any better.  It is like me saying "stop thinking about it" when I know if you could you would.  

I talk about a psychologist because you are not sleeping and not sleeping means that during the day you are tired and a tired person cannot fight OCD especially alone.  Actually that could, in my mind, make the difference as to whether you can get by or not.  Perhaps you can talk to your OB doctor about taking melatonin to help you get some sleep at night while you are figuring out the psychologist part of the equation.  
Remember, don't take anything that you don't talk to your doctor about first.  

Or even a nice bath and warm mile before bed might help you sleep.  

And don't give into the temptation to throw everything out.  When we give in, we lose.  When we say "WHATEVER" is when we win.