Question about what a new psychologist said to me...

[ocdhurts]

Hello,

I am 37 years old and have been diagnosed with clinical depression and OCD. I have had 2 serious depression episodes in my life and have had OCD symptoms here and there throughtout my life too. I am currently taking Cymbalta (have been for 8 months) and Wellbutrin XL for 2 years. Before the Cymbalta, I was taking Prozac for 11 years. I feel that the Prozac helped me better, but I feel it lost its effectiveness after all those years taking it. When I was first put on Prozac, I was in a deep depression. I could barely function. I was not sleeping or eating and had to take time off from college and work. After about a week and a half, I felt so much better. I wanted to go back to college and I did. But like I said, after being on it for so many years, I felt it pooped out to a point. My psychiatrist changed to Cymbalta. I have read on the Internet that Cymbalta really isn't used for OCD, but it is used for depression. I am hoping to get it changed and maybe go on a medication that helps more with OCD. Currently, I am working full time but I don't like my job. I am looking for new one. I have various issues that I need help with at the moment. I have never had much therapy in my life and feel that therapy may help me. I did make an appointment with a psychologist and did go to her once. I am not sure I am going to go to her again because there was something she said to me that really made me upset. I have used OCD forums before and left a post on this particular forum and there is a psychologist that frequently posts answers to people that post questions. Anyways, I left a post about how I was feeling about this particular therapist I went to and this psychologist on the forum left me a reply. I was wondering if you would kindly read what I have posted and what the psychologists' answer was and give me advice on what you think about it. Here it is...sorry it is so long.

Here is my question on the other forum site I posted:

Well I went to a new therapist today and I am not sure if I like her or not. Not sure if I am going to go back. It basically lasted an hour and a half and I did alot of talking. Of course about why I felt the need to come there. I told her about my past depression and what I have gone through and a little bit about how I am feeling now. She does have training in OCD, which I liked. I didn't think I was going to tell her much about these awful thoughts I have been having but as she was asking all the questions that a psychologist does on the first meeting, the topic came up. She asked me if I felt like harming myself and I said no. Then she asked if I thought of harming others and while she was saying that, I started to cry. It was really hard for me to open up about that because I have always thought that my thoughts make me as a person and I should have control over these thoughts. While I was telling her about the thoughts, I also told her I would NEVER do anything to hurt anyone. I even said I wish I would have the thoughts of hurting myself and never of hurting others. Or I wish it was some other bad thought that didn't have to do with physically hurting others.  I have always been a kind and compassionate person. Anyways...it was getting to the end of our time and before she ended she said this (and this is what really ticked me off and why I don't think I will be returning to her)...It was like she wanted reassurance that I wasn't going to go out and hurt anyone. She was like "now you aren't going to act on that or you don't feel like you would ever act on that, right?" I just don't understand why she would ask me that question because when I had originally started talking about the thoughts I was having, I told her point blank that I would NEVER hurt anyone. It just made me feel worse when she said that. So what are your thoughts? I know this was my first time seeing her and maybe I should give her a chance, but I don't know. Oh, and she said she would like me to take the MMPI 2 test which lasts an hour and a half. She said that that test would give her an idea if the meds I am on are working right (in my opinion I don't know how a paper test could show a person if meds are working) and it would also give her an idea of my strengths and style? Any thoughts?

And here is the answer I got from the psychologist that regularly posts on the forum:

I'm so sorry you had that experience. I'm not sure what to say about whether to give her a second chance - if you liked her except for that one comment, I think I'd probably try. In my own searches for therapists throughout my life, there have been times when I've ruled someone out just from talking to them on the phone. Others, I've ruled out after a first session. Others, I've hung in there and worked through any differences with them and those have been the really good therapists. Sometimes you can try working through something with a therapist and learn a heck of a lot. If they really listen to you - really try to understand how what they said felt to you - that's an important hallmark of a good therapist. So if you liked this woman, yeah, I'd go back, tell her how that comment felt and see how she responds.

Here's some info that MAY help. Therapists are mandated by law to report cases where a patient says they're planning to harm another individual. Technically, we're supposed to report it even if we know in our gut that the person would never do it. In other words, it's not supposed to be a judgment call on our part. If the words come out of a client's mouth, we're supposed to report it to authorities. In actuality, probably most therapists still rely on a certain amount of their own judgment. For example, it's really pretty common for people in a fit of anger to say, "I really want to kill him!" when they wouldn't in a million years actually kill anyone - they're just angry. Most therapists will just let that slide. But it could be that the woman you saw was trying to find a balance between the way the law reads (e.g., report all) and her own intuitiveness about it. So her asking you pointblank might have been her way to find that balance - to make sure she was staying within the law while at the same time, allowing you to talk about the things you needed to talk about. Make sense? I don't know that that's what happened, but it's a strong possibility.

*** The main worry I have with all of this is what she said about the therapist maybe having to contact the authorities because of me talking about these harming thoughts I have. When I originally told her (the therapist I just saw for the 1st time) I had these thoughts, I told her I would NEVER act on them. I was even crying about it. Then before our session was over, she asked "your not going to act on those thoughts, are you?" I thought these people are supposed to help? She made me feel more anxious. Now do I have to worry that she is going to call the cops and have them come to my work or my home???***

Thanks for your replies and advice,
Greta

[toejam_muncher]

well i think the answer the psychologist gave you in the forum was dead on...exactly what i would have said. it is their obligation to report any threat to yourself or others...however the vast majority of psychologists would only ever report something like that if they believe you would really endanger yourself or others. you have to consider you've only had 1 session with her...she doesn't know you any better than you know her...so she wanted to make sure you weren't intending to act on your thoughts (and those are thoughts that i'm sure many of us with ocd have had). i wouldn't rule her out because just like you don't know her, she doesn't know you. it would be as though you said you've had a lot of suicidal thoughts but would never act on them. if it were your first session, any psychologist would want to be absolutely SURE you weren't going to act on those thoughts. you have to give her a chance to get to know your character before you decide she's being unfair. now if you didn't like her in general, then i would say by all means...find a new doc. otherwise, i'd give it a second chance and not worry about whether she'll report it or not. they won't arrest you...if anything they'd put you in a hospital...but i highly highly doubt that would happen unless you truely were a danger to yourself or others.

[nenin]

Greta,

While I was reading your post I was wondering if it was one of mine since we have so much in common; age and all. I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago, I knew about my depression since I tried (acted) to kill myself and thought about it many many times. But without any therapy everything got worst and the years passed. I actually thought that treatment for depression was a joke since in '89 I was prescribed Prozac and it just made me aware of everything around me, so I stopped.
I did self harm and had (still have) many, many thoughts about harming other people. Just like you  it is an embarrasing thing to expose to anyone especially because you as myself will not even think about acting on it. What the therapyst said in response to your question is very very true; they do have to report if they think you will act on it. I'm assuming since it was your first session she just needed reassurance of what you just told her. I will give her a try and comment on how you felt after she asked you.
I do have issues with my therapist but I do like her and do tell her what I think. I just love when she ask if I'm still not sleeping since she prescribed sleeping pills and I just don't take them.
Anyway now I'm taking a combination of make me happy drugs as i call them, Wellbutrin XL 300mg + Zoloft 150mg + Klonopin .5mg and believe me I need something extra because my life at work is pure hell and while I find another job I need something that will not make me explote and do something stupid.
As I said before I was recently (3 yrs ago) diagnosed with OCD and all made sense then of the way I am. I find the meds help but therapy was that really helped me. For the first time in my life I felt I could talk to someone and it was no judging on their part, he actually understood me (my counselor). I could talk about anything, my sexual desires , self harming, suicide thoughts and why I acted on them; it was a releive on my part. I'll say if your first impression was good just give your therapyst a try, my Psychiatrist asks me if i will act on my thoughts every time I express them to her and of course I say no. To me it just feels so right to tell someone how you really feel.