Rediculous, time consuming rituals.

[christineyvette]

I was diagnosed with OCD at 8, im 22 now. I never had complusions until this past two  years but the past year they've been worse.
I have emotephobia BAD always have after a traumatic expierence as a kid.
My rituals are so embarrassing I didn't even go into detail with my phychiatrist. I don't want her to laugh at me.
They consist of this:
When I go to the bathroom (bowel movement) I HAVE to sit there for 30 minutes. EXACTLY 30 minutes. No more no less. I have to pray to got and say "Dear God, please don't let me have diahreea and I won't throw up anytime between now and the next 5 years." Then I go and then I sit there for 30 minutes. If I have another bowel movement in the same sittinng, I have to add 30 more minutes. It's SO tiring. If everything goes well and I go 30 minutes without going, then I can finally get off. Then I pray again. Same phrase. And I also have to do the "cross my heart" thing. Over and over again and if I don't do it right I have to KEEP doing it till it's right.
After, I wash my hands then I have to stand agaisnt the door and pray over and over and over with the same phrase until I feel it's right. I cant do anything between that time. If I look at myself in the mirror or brush my hair it ruins it and I think "Oh great im going to get sick." So I pray and cross my chest over and over even when I'm so tired and want to go to bed (ALL MY BOWEL MOVEMENTS HAPPEN IN THE LATE AM I WILL NOT GO DURING THE DAY) It is absolutley embarrassing and tiring. I can spend up to 2 hours in the bathroom. I so tired of doing it that I hold in my bowel movements and barely go. I go like once a week. I try not to eat foods that will make me go. It's terrible and I can never go in someone elses house or a public place. That is SCARY. I hate this so much. It's so tiring and its over something stupid.
It'd be great if someone could share some rituals that are equally embarrasing as this one.
Thank you.

[puppetofpbj]

What hurts me the most is when people STAY ON the toilet for more than 10 minutes for no reason other than to diddle-daddle on their phone for the next hour. If there is one thing that very much irritates me from this is the nature of people. Some people complain about not having enough time in the day to get anything done, and they make excuses from their inchoations and shortcomings, when they clearly have the time to finish their work or work on their viewed drawbacks. In other words, be lazy and hope something comes to them, when, in actuality, it will never come unless you work for it! If someone, like my father or sister, stays on the toilet for over 10 minutes, I get overtly anxious to the point of almost vomiting or having a panic attack. I tense up and i feel like I can't breathe. No normal person stays on the toilet for that long! I have to knock on the bathroom door and pressure my dad or sister why they are spending so much time with something they should have finished a decade ago! I have to track them every 5 minutes over 10 minutes. I do this in angst that I won't have a bathroom to go to and soil myself if every bathroom might be all occupied! Every bathroom HAS to be open. It doesn't feel right if one's been closed for more than 10 minutes.

[lily168]

Hey, I found this show with Paul Mc Kenna really helped me understand the rituals and how to stop them, have a watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JOZPbkD4zY

[hank279]

hey cristine, im 22 as well and i have similar rituals, you know something, only the rituals that im too embarrassed to openly share are the ones that seem to plague me, i have a ritual of excessively washing my hand if it comes in contact to any thing i deem "dirty" in my head such as if i scratch my privates and touch something without thinking that thing i touched is "dirty" and unless i wash my hands and that thing if i ever touch that thing again i feel the urge i need to wash my hands or im going to infect someone ... :/ pretty weird huh? it all seems to make sense im my head though, i would really like to chat with you and we can help eachother out, i dont tell my friends or family this kind of stuff because i find it embarrasing which just elevates the anxiety but talking to another with a similar problem seems to , idk, it makes me feel more open to talk, im sure us confiding and bringing this out into the open will help you feel soooooooo much better, me too :)

[stmargaretofcortonaprayforus]

You are not alone, I have bathroom rituals too. From how many multiple pieces of toilet paper to use, to brushing out my clothes with my hand before putting them back on, and also praying to God repeatedly and making the sign of the cross many times before leaving the bathroom (because I have a fear or some  anxiety from a spot on the wall in the hallway when exiting the bathroom. My sister physically attacked me and pushed me into the wall and it got a hole in the wall and my mom spackled it, so it is a white spot on a gray wall). Everytime before I exit my bedroom or the bathroom I have to pray and make the sign of the cross repeatedly, also for fear and anxiety of running into anyone in my house that will mistreat or bully me or running into people who have in the past. Its so bad now that I have to plug my ears when I am passing in a hallway and hear my dad or sister talking. I don't even like to be in the same room or floor of the house as them.

I hope that is reassurence for you. I am really struggling and suffering with OCD too.

[JGF25]

Don't try....do it.  There is nothing humilating about it.  If I told you all the irrational thoughts I had to tell my doctor....OMG it is a very long list.  I thought I would just go blind while I was driving my car.  Now come on, that is petty stupid and embarrassing but I told her anyway because that is what she was there for...to help me through my thought process which clearly I wasn't going to be able to do on my own.  Oh....and speaking of bathroom issues...I spent my entire college years going to the bathroom.  I would come out of one only to walk right back in for fear of peeing my pants...of course I didn't really have to go but tell my mind that!  That one I cured on my own.  I stopped going back in.  I had to say enough and not give in.  

As far as throwing up.  There are quite a few people with that phobia but what you have to know is that millions of people throw up every day and nothing happens to them.  It is not a process that we like but one that is sometimes necessary for the body to get rid of something toxic to us.  That is why dogs eat grass.  Their bellies are upset and so they eat grass in order to make themselves throw up to make themselves feel better.  

Please come back to this forum and tell us that you have told your doctor everything because then we will know that you are on your way to a better life!  

[christineyvette]

It's just so humiliating to tell her but im going to try at my next appointment. Yes I am on medication, im currently on 20mg of lexapro, currently being weened slowly off Valium, 5mg twice daily of propananol and 100mg of serequel at bedtime. I also suffer from depression, anxiety and agoraphobia.

[JGF25]

I don't have rituals but even I get a chuckle out of some of the irrational thoughts I have come up with.  But really, you are taking the time and paying the price for having a psychiatrist but you are not going into detail?  Listen, I promise you that you cannot tell them anything that will shock them.  They have heard it all and then some.  So please, they cannot help you fix what they don't know is broken so make a point to discussed EVERYTHING the next time you are there.  Also, are you on medication?