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Sex and OCD
I am in a very loving relationship with a man who has OCD and everything is fine except for sex.  At first, as with any new relationship we made love all the time but now we only make love about 2-3 times a week if that.  I am turned on and ready to go in 1 minute but he seems to require alot longer, even when he is hard.  He seems to loose focus or is distracted by even the smallest things like a dog baking outside. He is 49 and we have both talked about Viagra, even though he does get an erection in the mornings.  Is it hard for people with OCD to focus on sex or is it something else?  His wife died of cancer 9 years ago and I am the first woman that he has loved since then.  Maybe he feels quilty?  Like he is being unfaithful to her?  I am afraid to ask him because he still refers to her as his "wife" and it hurts a little, but yet he tells me that he wants to marry me someday.  I have my own insecurities and am a little OCD myself.  Its only been about 5 months since we have been dating so maybe I am being impatient with him?  I think that I need to talk to a counselor about this.  If any of you men out there are OCD and have any advise for me I would be eternally grateful.  Thank you!
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1311328 tn?1273669292
I am not a male but I do think that he May need a little more time. Five Months is not a long time especially considering Your the first female he has been with since his wife has died. It does seem as though he is still experiencing the grief and loss surrounding her death. He could be feeling a lot of emotion and if You're the first woman he has been with in Nine Years since she passed on it would be normal for him to be experiencing this due to her death.
I hope that things work out for You!
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