My OCD and anxiety is literally driving me crazy. I have anxiety constant throughout the day and find it harder and harder each day to cope. I have a severe fear of contracting herpes. It's been over a year or so since i've had sex and i've been working with a therapist since then. I recently had a new partner and thought i was ready, but apparently i'm not.
My partner and I fooled around the other night. No oral, vaginal or anal sex though. He fingered me and I gave him a handjob. At one point we were naked and i'm so scared that his penis may of touched my vagina or private parts. I checked him for any sores or bumps, but do not recall seeing any.
All these "what if" questions keep popping into my head and I have literally convinced myself i have an STD after all of this. The harder I think about what happened, the further from the truth i come. At first, i was positive his penis never touched my vagina and now i can't remember. Someone please help me and offer some advice :(
Doctor's say that he can only pass it if he was vigoursly grinding his penis on genitals, but my mind keeps playing games with me. Like when he was fingering me, i'm afraid he took his penis out and grinded it against me. I asked him if his penis every touched my vagina and he said "no", but i just feel like he was lying.
Any advice would be appreciated.