Hello everybody, I know that this is long, but I really need some help here.
12 almost 13, in a highly gifted program at school, he is in 7th grade, he has 2 moms, he was a sperm donation baby.
Ok, time for the long part. First off, he doesn't understand rejection. This kid hooks on to you, pretends to be good friends, and then screws you over, and somehow manages to convince you that HE is the victim. He is highly manipulative. Also, I have seen many exhibits of ADHD in him. In class when he is sitting, he is constantly moving his feet, back and forth, back and forth. When he is standing, he rocks side to side. Constantly. Now to cut to the chase. I have known this child for more than four years, and I still have not been able to figure out his behavior. So, I will give you examples of strange, sometimes malicious things he does. I will provide you with dialogue, I cannot describe it any other way. To protect his identity, I will call him Joe, myself Jack, and other people Smith.
Him: Did you know that Never Gonna Give You Up was one of the the top songs in the 80's?
Him: Well, what song do you think I'm going to play for my project?
Me: (because I know what he is trying to do now that I see through his manipulation, I say no and ask him to tell me what song he is using.)
Him: Eye of The Tiger.
Me: Joe, I know what you were trying to do. You wanted me to say Never Gonna Give You Up so that you could say I was wrong.
Him: No. That's not what I was trying to do. (he says this completely calmly, like it is absurd and I am some kind of idiot.)
Grading our own tests which we just finished:
Him: Mrs. Smith, but yesterday you said boat was a preposition, not a noun!
Mrs. Smith: (starts yelling at him for making that up, I have warned school staff about his extremely manipulative and malicious behavior.)
Him: Jack, Jack, Jack!
Him: Look, look!
I look, and he is leaning back in his chair, balancing. I obviously don't care, so I turn back. I hear his chair hit the ground as he leans forward again, and he does his stupid laugh. I really shouldn't call it a stupid laugh, but honestly. He is very disconnected from society. He really has no friends. He hooks on to people like me, they see the stupid **** he pulls, and they don't want to talk to him again. What amazes me is his emotional immaturity. The way being in f-ing seventh grade, he is fascinated with leaning back in his chair balancing, and even enthusiastically tells other people to look like he is doing something really cool and interesting. Also, his nonexistent sense of rejection comes in here. Of course, people look and then turn away and sigh and shake their heads at him, yet he still talks to them and everything. Last year, my friend who wanted Joe to leave him alone called him a "Complete f*c*ing do*c*e bag" right to his face. Next day, Joe was talking to him like they were best friends, and nothing had happened. Joe told me he has OCD and sleeping problems, but there must be more to this as well as a technical explanation for his behavior.
Wow, from the length of your post, I can tell that you are not only worried, but you must care for this kid a bit. Not sure you would have taken the time otherwise.
I am the community leader over on the ADHD forum and was asked by another member to check out your post - and I can see why.
If some of the stuff I say makes sense you may want to continue the discussion at http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175 - or here as I will watch this list.
I have dealt with ADHD kids in a school setting for a long time (check my profile) and some of them have been highly intelligent so I do have a few ideas that may be helpful.
But let me add before I go on that "sleep problems in schoolchildren with ADHD are extremely common and strongly associated with poorer quality of life, daily functioning and school attendance. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080407160751.htm and if these sleep problems can be treated, it will make a difference!
Man, there is so much to cover. All most all of what you have described, I have seen in kids with ADHD. It doesn't mean he has it, but it really makes me suspicious. Typically hyper boys get noticed early in elementary school, but if you are intelligent - its easy to get overlooked.
Lets start with ADHD symptoms. Here is a very straight forward list of symptoms - http://www.azcourts.gov/casa/Training/TrainingCourses/ADHDpg3.aspx
Now here is a more involved list that looks specifically at teenagers. I think that some of the behavioral and friendship parts will seem familiar.
This site deals specifically with gifted kids with ADHD and talks about the difficulties that being gifted creates. http://www.ncpamd.com/Gifted_ADD.htm
The final site is from an Adult ADD site. It deals with high IQ and ADHD. Scroll down to the post by Wilsonstark and read that - although the whole thing is interesting. Besides the similarities in behavior (I think) - this post also shows what the future could be like. It is something that you might want to wind up showing to his parents. The link is: http://totallyadd.com/adhdandhighiq/
Of course, non of this proves he has ADHD. But if he does, it not only would explain his actions - but it would also mean he can be helped.
I've got a feeling that we will be continuing this discussion. Read the links if they seem to fit (or if they don't) - then we need to talk about what comes next. And with the end of the school year approaching - not a lot of time left.
Best wishes - and thanks for caring enough to post!
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