I've been with my guy for 3 years now. We have wonderful time together. i had episods with my OCD that I could be capable of cheating, although I never cheated anyone in my life and would certainly never cheat on him cause I love him dearly. Well after this went by after year or so, another obsession took me over. I was obsessed with his ex (who is 45 years old and I'm 28), he is 50 for reference. It started with simple gift he bought me abroad and then I thought I saw his ex walking by with similar like gift given to me (bag) in her hands. The chances I've met his ex are 1:1000, cause I've never seen her in reality and when I drove by it could be anyone not only her. Well and then I was nagging him all the time about this bag and questioning him about it. He was very patient with me and then he had it enough; we had several fights about it after already 50x questioning him the same question- "did you give that bag to her?" and there were scenarios in my head...and I became suspicious of everything that has to do with her. I am in shame to admit, but I logged to fake facebook account and got in contact with her...I represented myself as a guy and she was interested in speaking. I also asked her about her ex boys and she said she would never have anything with them, cause she was hurt and doesn't want to drag history to present time and so she stated she has no contacts with exes whatsoever. Then I asked if she loves fashion and bags. And so she wrote she got one bag from her female friend, but she didn't like it. And this friend, she says, often buys her things, they're great friends and the bag was gift to her for new year holidays. I WAS RELIEVED TO HEAR THIS FROM HER AND I THOUGHT MY OCD WAS OVER! I was so wrong. It got even worse with my boyfriend, I demanded he photographs bag to me (he said it gave it to his sister) and he sent me photographs, and I WAS RELIEVED FOR A SHORT TIME AGAIN. In reality, I know he wouldn't go to his ex just to make photographs-she would think he is nuts. I know all that but this is keep tearing me apart. We've came so far he stated directly, he won't be able to take it no more cause I am doing him harm, he wanted to make me happy with gift given to me and now I'm doing all this mess cause I might have seen it at someone else. He is very sad when I bring this subject up and he says he doesn't want relationship like this. He is depressed because I don't trust him and he doesn't see a reason why should he bring bag to her ex he didn't have contact for 10 years already??? stupid, I know. As I can see I have so much of strong evidence (his ex saying she has no contact with ex, she says she has been hurt and would never go again to someone from history) and another evidence his photographs of this bag (he holds it in hands, so it's not forwarded or taken by anyone else) and also his statement for 100x THAT HE HAS GIVEN BAG TO HIS SISTER (I guess he would admit by now after nagging him for 1 year if he would give bag to his ex)?... Well, what do you say? I feel so crazy, but this really creeps my mind and I can't find way out. I trust him, but this ex bothers me...for no reason really, if I look objectively. We hear ourselves every 2 hours a day and we are everyday together almost...I don't want him to be hurt anymore, cause this is causing hell to both of us. PLEASE, HOW CAN I STOP? Any recommendations very appreciated.
I think it is time to see a psychologist. Honestly, a year of this is quite enough. I know you cannot help what you are doing because this is a disorder that leaves us looking for some sort of closure and we just keep going on when we can't get that closure or when we get it and then start to doubt it. I can tell you love this man and therefore you need to get some psychological help. It doesn't mean you are crazy. It could very well be that you have OCD but I'm not qualified to diagnose you on the forum. So ask him to help you find a good psychologist so you can talk this out, get a diagnosis, and then learn techniques to let these things go. It can be done and it can only help your relationship at this point. Take care.
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