The same thought over and over

Does anybody on this forum have PURE O. I have PURE O, and what that means is the OCD is only mental, it's not attached by compulsions. I do actually have complusions, but they do not bother me like purely mental compulsions, so I don't reference that as being a distress in my life. Does anyone have a phrase or thought, the same thought, day in and day out for months and months that won't leave their mind? I actually have a phrase not a thought. It is "kill yourself". I do not want to kill myself, so I dont know why the thought is there. It's been there since July 2008. It's in my mind every day. It is very automatic. I'm not even thinking about it, I could be laughing watching a movie, and  there it is that phrase just pops in my head. Some people have given me advice to become less stressed by the phrase, but it's not the phrase that bothers me, its the frequencey of it. If for example and I know this is going to sound silly, but I will give an example. If for example the phrase was meatloaf or september or whatever, and that popped in my head several times a day, it would still bother me. So its really not the phrase. I just want to make that clear because other OCD websites I belong to misunderstand what I'm really stressed about. I am stressed by the frequency. This same thought tormented me for almost 3 years staright but that was 15 years ago, now all of a sudden this thought came back to haunt me in my life again. If anyone has anything similar to this, or can give some advice, please feel free to write back to me. I would be more than happy to hear any input. Purrsyngurl      

[infoseeker74]

I wouldn't tell a psychiatrist you have the phrase Kill yourself playing over and over again as that will surely get you held in a psych ER. Most docs would be concerned about that. Have you explored the repetitive thoughts with a doctor though? I'm thinking they would most likely want to put you on an SSRI, especially if it is distressing to you and they aren't stopping.

[Juscuri]

Looks very similar to my problem. Couldn't find much about this issue. Recently there wasa discussion regarding this in some other place. It looks as though negative vibrations are making our mind react like this. It's difficult to explain it here. It's better if u read the full story here
http://www.*********.org/index.php?showtopic=28861&st=80&start=80

I think post nos 89, 87 and 84 will help

[webfootlover]

I read your repsonse to my message, but don't you think that a regular doctor wouldn't be able to help me as much as a psychiatrist. You have me paranoid I can't go to a mental therapist, only a normal doctor. What about a psychologist, or would that be the same as a psychiatrist? I dont want to kill myself, what would they want to commit me? I feel disturbed you told me this. I have read other people's posts that are worse in nature than mine, and they are seeing pyschiatrists that haven't committed them, they just try to help them and put them on medication. I feel scared now to get help from a pyschologist because of what you wrote. People get committed if they are a threat to themselves or others, and I am neither of these things.-webfootlover      

[webfootlover]

Hi Juscuri, I could not go to that website because you had alot of ****** and the computer didn't recognize it. Also, may I ask what is post nos 98, 87, and 84. Let me know I would be interested in finding out about it.-webfootlover

[aardvarkadmirer]

Hey there, I consider myself to be Pure O.

I'm constantly plagued by the thought that I have HIV. I've never had any risks, but my mind keeps conjuring up scenarios that I may have contracted it in. It makes it very difficult to pursue relationships when you're convinced you have a STD.

My psych is trying to put me on meds, but the thought of taking SSRI's makes me nervous.

[chelle_1]

Hi,  not to worry,I had many years of the same thought, and wish I knew you then.   I had mental rituals about having them stay in my mind the same amount of time as the previous intrusive thought. or doubling that amount of time.  When I read your post from 2008 , I related.  I had a thought for 4 years, and that was to replace confessing it.  The ritual didnt work, I I went to a doc and hopital to "tell " anyway.  I  didnt know that mental thoughts were compulsions,  i thought I had one big  .obsession.  I also developed an obsession that now the 4 years was ruined.  You are not alone.  I did n't have any diagnosis or treatment for ocd back then.  I spend years worrying that noone else had that kind of compulsion,   It gets very imeshed, write back if you would like more explanation.  i can only talk about this for short periods ,or my head explodes.      Are you male or female?    Chell_e  

[Mav1977]

you are not the only one. i started having these thoughts when i took zoloft few months ago. i took it only for 3 days but for somehow it made me fear for my life with any sharp object. this phrase use to resonate my mind the moment i will get up in the morning and there will be a thought in my mind, "time to kill myself". every now and then if there is intense pressure, the same thought comes to my mind. Besides these thoughts have inflicted so much fear in me that i dont go close to knives, tall buildings, water (lakes) etc etc.. anything which might be related to dying i avoid it.
  I tell you something which helps me, the best way is to ridicule the thoughts when u get it. if you have any negative thought make fun of it, take it to next level in a humorous way, i become more of a cartoon character in the thought and laugh it over to avoid immense anxiety. See if it works for you.
Somehow zoloft triggered some craziness in my brain, i am not sure whethere my brain will get back to normal. i am planning my life to live with it forvever hoping and praying for my creators mercy on me.

[GEORGIE1]

ive been getting these really weird thoughts and images of random things. i start gettin all these questioning thoughts all the time like why do people act the way they do? or for eample if im watching tv i start thinkin why did he say that? and what does that mean?? i was wonderin if anybody has had these type of thoughts and if they are intrusive thouhgts?? please respond

[hmf099]

You are NOT going to be commited for being honest about an obsessive thought. I don't know why anyone would post such a thing.any psych or therapist would understand. don't let one silly comment keep you from getting the help you need.