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To soulful78
Hello Maria,

I started another thread cause the prev. one was getting long.  LOL!

I guess almost everyone have fear of "death" at least time to time.  I guess, after losing my mom, I was pretty much left alone.  I was a teenager yet didn't have any counseling or mental help for losing someone in such a traumatic way.  

Soon after, I lost my grandmother (she was like mother to me) who was traumatized with loss of her beloved daughter... yeah, I went through some tough time.

A few years has past dealing with losses, I finally found my soul mate who I love more than myself and still to this date we are happily together.  I'm happiest point in my life right now (well, except my current OCD).  You see, I think if I see anything that seem "threatening" to me & my partner... I GET overly paranoid and that leads me to the biggest fear of all DEATH, HIV, cancer, murder, etc... When I see other tragedy happening to people, I take it personally and get depressed.  

Like when things are going good in your life,  you wonder 'something bad might happen' .  You know what I mean.  There are better days yet I still struggle time to time.  BUT, I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT... so I ask myself.  Why am I doing this, thinking this & that?

Sorry for rambling on.  But it's so comforting just have someone listen to my problems.  It's good to let it out sometimes.  

Maria, thanks for listening.  post here anytime if you want to talk.  Big Hugs & lots of LUV!
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