Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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confused

am scared
13 Comments Post a Comment
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Remind me what is bothering you.
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Avatar_f_tn
well why are you scared? and what can be done to over come that fear?
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Avatar_m_tn
YEAH.. am a nigerian though.. thank u so mch for commenting... i dont wana be gay.. i lost my virginity when i was 12 to a girl.. when i as little i sexed a GUY but i was like 6 i didnt know what i was doing... for years i just saw gay people as being funny and stuff... i didnt understand them... i had 10-12 g.fs i loved them sexed most of them.. i didnt have any worries about me being gay cus i never ever thought i would evr be gay.. last month i was watching a programee and there was a gay guy there.. ever since then have been having the thoughts i dont like them but ma mind says a lieng .. i cant see my self with a man... to me oits just wrong.. have not had an erection fow weeks am scared us when i start getting hard for a girl the gay thoughts come.... now its so bad that i see ma self sexing a guy and am enjoying it IN MY MIND BUT TO ME ITS SICK AND SUNFAIR CUS THE THOUGHTS ARE FORCING MEEEE NOT A CHOICE... am i GAY OR ITS HOCD
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1699033_tn?1405352675
You know what I think....I think whether people are gay or not is genetic.  In my mind, we are born gay or we are not.  And if you are gay, and if you talk to people that are gay, they will tell you that they knew very early on in life and they accept it. It is not big deal really...like I said it is our genetics.  But you on the other hand are not accepting of the thoughts and are fighting them tooth and nail.  Based on that alone I would say that it is HOCD.  What you don't want to do is start analyzing everything in your life and doing a bunch of internet crap like watching gay porn to see if you get an erection.  That will only make matters worse especially the porn because you will be reacting to the content and not the players but think it is the other way around.  So since it is affecting your sex life, if you can see a psychologist where you are, that would be good.  They can help you turn these thoughts around.  
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Avatar_m_tn
am tired of fighting it.. am know am not gay and i dont wana be.. it was so bad that i almost lost my mind one day.. but the most recent thing happened yesterday i had this image of me sxing a man.. but ma **** wasnt erected.. and i WAS LIKE OMDS AM GAY then i thought for a while and said i cant be... today the same images poped up but this time no panic attack i dont care any more the images are just their mu mind is saying i lik it.. but no erection and now a girl just SAID THE WORDS I LOVE U AND AN ERECTION.. AM I GAY  
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3149845_tn?1415046551
If you were gay you would not question it.
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Avatar_m_tn
THATS true but my mind is killing me.. now i aint arguing with it no more
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Avatar_m_tn
i see my self sucking dicks like ATM.. BUT  am just dont give a **** no more.. the thoughts are fuckd up..
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3149845_tn?1415046551
Thank you, now you got the point, you control what you think!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
so sre u saying the thoughts are mine or i can control them... i really wana know if am GAY or not.. cus  i just cant be and i dont wana.. what can i do o contol tgem or stop them
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3149845_tn?1415046551
When you are home and thinking about the resturant to go to, you think about what you want to eat. You think about italian, french, chineese. In this process you visually see your self eating and tasting each foods and then you make a choise.
Its the same thing with thinking about being straight or  gay. Think about giving a man oral sex and tasting his sperm and french kissing him with the hair stubble scratching your face. Then think about anal sex with all the smells of fecal material. Then after sex laying back and telling him you love him, then bringing him home to meet your parents and telling mom and pop you are going to marry him while the 2 of you are standing there holding hands.
Then think about the same being with a woman. The choice is as easy as chosing a resturant. It depends on what you want.
Maybe go find a man and try it, who knows?
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Avatar_m_tn
okay.. but i gt this images but i dont care about them again cus i dont like them.. but now am scared of thinking about girls cus whenever i do the funny images come ans it starts again....
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3149845_tn?1415046551
Your mind (which includes your thoughts and images) are controlled by you. There is not a part of your brain that is acting indepentantly pushing these images to your consciouse, it is being done by you and nothing else. If  you took all this thinking and started thinking about creating a product that the public would buy, you would be rich by now.
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