hocd??

My entire life i was attracted to women. I remember my first crush, my first kiss, and the true feelings that came with each of them. I am now 21 years old and going through an extreme case of anxiety and depression. I cannot stop wondering if i am gay or not. I dated a girl from when i was 18 to 20, and had a totally normal relationship with lots of sex. Now the thought of having sex with a girl scares me, because i do not envision myself being able to perform. Furthermore, my fear of being gay has led me to successfully masturbate to images of men, but when im finished i just feel terrible about myself. I walk around all day with this lingering feeling in my head that im gay, and it is really having an effect on my social life as well as my mental health. This has to be HOCD, it just has to be. What can I do to calm myself down and end this misery that has lasted in me for the past year and a half?

[MrFoo]

I have the exact same problem as you knick33, I must admit I did always find a bit of gay porn a turn on, but not really enough to keep my attention.  I was always into girls my entire life, I never looked at a man and thought I could be with them, never.

Up until a few weeks ago my sex life with my gf was fine and dandy, then bang this hit me full on, now  I can't peform in bed and am scared I am going to lose her because I might be gay.  I love her and always have, but now I am questioning myself its ruining my life.

Sorry this is no answer to your post, I hope someone can answer this but I am seeking professional help in the hope that I can be calmed and learn to deal with this mess that has ruined me.

[VeryWorriedFather]

OCD works by giving you disturbing thoughts on the most precious things to you, for example a devoutly religious person will get disturbing thoughts about religion. A caring mother will get thoughts about harming her baby. The best way is not to respond to these thoughts. Don’t reassure yourself that you are not gay.. and these feelings and worries will gradually reduce and go away. The more you try to reassure yourself, the more intrusive thoughts you get. (Although I don’t think the masturbation is helping matters).

[Hardware444]

Same with me

Questions
So basically what you are all saying, what makes us not a homosexual is that we do not want to, even tho we have the attraction and disgusting gronial response
(was not there before the ocd)


One last thing regarding HOCD, since the attraction and disgusting gronial response are a symptom of the OCD, when the OCD gets better will it start to fade and the fear of being attracted to the same sex reduced. This all started when the OCD started (hopefully is OCD) so i assume it is a symptom of the OCD...

Any Thoughts would be welcome