i dunno whats happening to my life

since young i have been verbally abused by my father , i fought , joined gangs and went to national service , i had lots of friends when i was younger . now im 28 , i quit my very well paying job , been jobless for about 4 mths now .
my mind keeps telling me im useless and stuff like tat . since most of the people i know all seem to shun away from me  now . dont know what happening in my lilfe ,, i really need some help , i had gf's . im a good looking guy but i just dont know why  i dont have much friends left . isit that my character is too demanding or what .
im so sick of not having friends anymore . i feel like such an outcast in society , everytime i go out side i see people wth their friends  , or gfs  i feel so ashamed cos im always alone . my only friend is me . i sometimes feel like dying but i dont have the courage . i feel like crying now  . i have been let down by people dear to me all my life  , friends , colleages , gfs , i really dont know , i pray to GOD everyday and ask him to take me back every nite . i cant tell my family im having these problems , i listen to sad music and play the piano . and i just self pity too much . i hate myself . i dont know why , though i feel some people do like me , but i put up a front by acting i have alot of friends and stuff ....


i really need help ...

im sad , jobless and depressed

[upset914]

i forgot to mention that i always try my best to make everyone like me .... my fear is for people not to like me n shun away from me . i ddnt have this problem when i was young . but now i do

[tourtes]

I think you just have to be "you".  People will like you and want to be friends with you if you are just yourself and if they dont "it's their loss"!!!

[888mom]

I'd suggest going to a doctor and getting some antidepressant mediciations or counseling to help you through things... but without a job, I'm guessing you don't have health insurance, so that would be kind of unaffordable.  There might be a free clinic you could go to?   Some antidepressants help with obsessive thoughts, anxiety, and depression.  You'll find friends again.  Maybe your old friends are not good friends.  I found when I was younger that I had a lot of "fair weather friends".  It was sad to see them leave when life was not peachy keen and full of roses.  Real friends are people who will stick with you through anything.  Honestly, I don't know if I have but 2 of those, but even having just 1 friend like that is really all you need.  It takes time... just don't get discouraged right now not having a friend.  I know loneliness can feel horrible.  

[sgwan]

Hey man!  everything is going to be ok. I too have been lonely a lot in the past, and it hurts, I know it, I understand.  but get out their and get involved in somthing. maybe the local theatore and act in some plays, or do a sport of some kind.

and I too have wanted God to take me back in my past for other reasons, but still, its like telling somone to take back there gift to you. God put you here for a reason, and has us go throgh stuff for reasons.  I have been through hell and back with ocd, well Im not abck yet, but I am working on it. but I am thankfull almost that I went through it so I can help and understand other people who are afriad and have no idea what to do.


I know you can be un depressed again! there is so much life left to live! you see, I like, nono, I love jeeps, and soon I hopt to buy one, it helps to look forwards to things, but I also know that the happyness of a jeep wont last, so I need to look to GOD for joy. he will give it, after all he created you, not just said poof and here you are, but took the time to make you who you are.

just be your self, and when the time is right, the right girl will come along, and friends and all that good stuff.

also listen to insperational music! blast it man! get up and go running like there is no tommorrow! (exersize helps depressed people)

ok, well I hope somthing I said helps, just remember, God created you for a purpouse

[upset914]

i really thank u for yr comment , though i cant see u but yr words really mean alot to me during this time of loneliness .... i really hope i can fit back in to society ... i hve got some kinda problem fitting with people nowadays. i dont know why either ... in the past i trusted peopel easily but nowadays no more

[upset914]

i feel like such a loser , though deep down in side i know im not , im good looking , im intelligent and i learn fast for things which i like ... but i dont understand why , when i work ( something i dont like ) i dont do them well , and people think im dumb .... i really feel like juimping now ... i log in mostly online and talk to people ... seems like im becuming more and more away from the real world

[upset914]

its really horrid ,when i have problesm i cant tell anyone , when i feel tat tiny bit of joy , i got no one to share with either ...