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is it hocd
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is it hocd

hey  I'm29 married man it started when i felt some pain in my testy but thought nothing of it. then i tried to have sex with my with my wife and i could not get it up. I went  to the net to find out what the problem was they had all kind of things but i knew i didnt fit it said undetected homosexuality it blew my mind. I went to work and i saw a new guy at work that was handsome guy, I dont have a problem with making that statement. He had the look I wish i had. I got aneixty and got out of there. After that i start thinking i was gay then all kind of gay sexual acts that gave me aneixty and i hated thinking it but i could not get it out my head. i couldnt even look at new guys are dudes that are handsome are just new faces in fear of thinking gay things or just random thoughts of gay stuff going from nowhere. I dont have a problem with gays but is not for me. Now i hear music that i like or actors that i like and then find out their gay and it make me feel like if they can be gay then im in trouble. I went to the doctor about the testy and come to findout i  had infection not a std. but the thought never went away. justed started therpy.

what do you gays think
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Avatar_f_tn
Don't listen to this voice telling you that you are something you KNOW in your heart you're not. When we are saying something about ourselves, we know that our first instinct is usually right. Obviously questioning whether you are gay or not is your second instinct, since you are second guessing yourself. Get help with this before it ruins your marriage! Don't let this.. whether it be OCD or what.. take control of YOU, take control of IT.
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Avatar_m_tn
thanks didnt mean to say thanks gays ment to stay guys , but you think it hocd though
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Avatar_n_tn
I hear you!  Sam thing is goin on with me.  I'm a happily married 32 yr old guy!  Normal life but then had a very stressful year this year.  Wife hasn't been able to get pregnant then whah bam this thing hits me.  I always thought I had some slight OCD tendencies but when I got this I was wondering what the hell is goin on!  There is nothing wrong with gay people, I work with a few and they are nice people!  Am I a slight homophobe, yes!  Am I against gay marriage, yes! Am I repulsed by two dudes making out, yes!  But sure enough this thing hits me. It has been torture and at times I have hit rock bottom where I couldn't stand myself or being around anyone!  Not sure how I get thru some days other than from strength from up above and my wife.  I'm goin to see a doctor in a week and I pray he can help. I wish this on no one!  It feels good going to the gym or out with my wife and still seeing beautiful women and bein attracted to them but all it takes is one slight thought o image in a part of my mind and it all goes downhill!  The worst part is even when you are having a good day, you are still nervous and obsessing over when your next occurence will happen!  Saying to yourself, hey man you know your not gay is not always enough!  I pray for help and if anyone has some great advice it would be very much appreciated!  Good luck man and it's good to know that there are other men and women out there like us!  I hope I can get thru an enjoyable night of watching some hockey and baseball!
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Avatar_m_tn
My wife told me i was a slight  homophobe too. we just got to be strong to be real with you i have always been a pure-o ,but its always helped me be better at what i do  in college and at work always checking for the wrost thing that can happen so i could be ready now a back fire. and i also went to doctor and he said that stress bring it on and if it was not hocd it would have been another ocd, I also have s-ocd due to family history man keep in touch we will help eachother  
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey man, appreciate the follow up to my post!  What has your doctor said about this stuff?  It has me really freaked out!  Last two months have been mental torture.  I feel good when I see a good looking girl and am still in ah but with everything on tv and in the news being over saturated with gay stuff there is always somethin there tryin to trigger it.  I mean for 20 plus years I have played sports and been around dudes forever and ain't never been into them I've always loved women!  Now at 31 this, what the hell.  Ive always been obsessed over stuff and this year has been very stressful on me but I'm usually the strong mental one, not much usually affects me!  There are some mental issues in my family as well but that family member did drugs.  I never did any drugs and hardly drink!  Then I hear stuff on tv about dudes who were married end up being gay. It's all messed up and I truly pray it ends sooner than later and I can get back to enjoying my life with my wife and friends again!    
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Avatar_m_tn
You sound just like me. its like you notice gay stuff everywhere now. Find something to do that is stress free. He told me to write down power statementds like im not gay because I like fine ladies . basically make list of why your not gay and look at them it is going to take some time to get over it but we will. I let you know what he tells me next time  
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1282678_tn?1275189861
I am a 30 yr old female. I remember my obsessive behavior thinking i was a lesbian when i wasnt attracted, then i thought i had hiv, etc. For the past 2 yrs I have thought i was dying of some disease they cannot detect. So i had it under control for 28 yrs and out of nowhere it started with shortness of breath and weakness...went on the net reading(big mistake) I thought I had everything i read. I actually get symptoms just reading about it.Still not convinced i am okay, cause I just want to feel like i used to. I dont mind the the minor obsessive things like having things in order, but obessive behavior has truly ruined my life.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks man I appreciate it!  I asked a question to the dr forum and he says that this is classic OCD.  Is your Dr sayin the same?  It's amazing I have some really good days but I hate how your always on edge because your nervous about the next spike.  I'm hoping for two steps forward and one back rather then one step forward and two steps back.  Is your Dr. optimistic that us folks with this can conquer it?    
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Avatar_m_tn
Yes, he said it also the thing that you have to do let them come and dont fight it the more you fight the more they will come  ocd feed on your fears . It feed on mine all the time
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey likeladies, just checkin in to see how things have been!  It's been an ok week here just waiting for my first dr's appointment.  Spikes are debilitating but th worst part is the constant worry of when the next round of thoughts might come.  It doesn't allow you to relax!  Anyways I found this post and thought it was a good example of what we go thru!  I sorda been tryin some of it and at times it works well, I just can't get rid of the worry/doubt that this thing seeds in you!  Hell I was a normal fun loving husband/friend/sports enthuisist a couple months ago now Im dealing with this!  Take care!
http://forums.psychcentral.com/archive/index.php/t-41733.html
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Avatar_m_tn
Man you still that same guy i know this id stressful hell i dont sleep well due to ocd . but everyday is a new battle. this week its been s-ocd for me it also killing me . but the bottum line that we have a problem staying f***k it man. they stay that having these douts mean we are just the opposite . I going to doc sat. i going to feel you in. I going to look at the site.  
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Avatar_m_tn
im 29yrs old and i ave and is being crippled with everything youve put there over the last 7months i find everything to be gay its like my brain is tryin to look for it even though its not there the word gay is said in my brain at least 50times a day if not more i often ask myself did i do something in a gay way, ive had this same horrible pain that is now called H-OCD about 10years ago and cant for the life of me remember how it went or how i got rid of it ????????? surely being gay cant just come and go in a persons life your either gay or not my threpist has told me to let what ever comes in to my come in and dont fight with it let the this voice say what it wants to say no matter what it is but thats easyer said than done i just want my life back to the way it was b4 oct 09 !!!!! freedom and peace of my own mind thinkin about the things i want to think about happy things like my girlfriend,my 2 kids,family,friends and all the sport that i like watchin
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Avatar_m_tn
Man mine have been like this for the same amount of time and its a B***t we will fight the good fight and when
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Avatar_n_tn
Amen, I hear you guys!  I just want my happy go lucky life back where I can enjoy cracking jokes with my wife and just enjoying life, family, friends, sports!  I had some major stresses earlier this year that I am assumin triggered this but why this?  I have always loved good looking women! Now I'm paranoid about thinking gay stuff, whether I sit gay, talk gay, if I notice gay people, I look at a guy of any kind and my minds like "see that you looked your gay....". I have no problem admitting a guy is good looking but that's the extent of it!  Now I'm afraid to change the tv channel cause I'm nervous a guy will be on there and my junk will shift or I'll get anxiety and the voices will start all over again.  Didn't sleep last night and had major anxiety and depression today.  Then you hear a story about folks who were married, had kids, got divorced, and then were gay.  What the frick is up with that?  Then your mind goes crazy again!  I can't wait to see a doctor and start therapy!  I know it's not going to be easy but I'll do whatever it takes!  Just have to stay strong I guess and keep battling!  Today was a hard one for me!
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Avatar_m_tn
I went to doctor and i going to start meds for the aniexty and he said it will help with the thoughts and the therapy will also help knock it out.
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Avatar_n_tn
This stuff is killing me slowly!  After 2-3 hrs of sleep every night, if that, I wake up with this voice telling and trying to convince me I'm gay!  Having the thoughts be there and not trying to address them is often times impossible!  I'm just straight up scared! I can be ok for one minute but on the verge of a breakdown the next few hrs! Why me, why now?  My life and stress was just starting to calm down and now this. I get nervous seeing pictures of males of all ages now, I woke up the other night with the thought of harming my wife!  I try to do some of the techniques I read about and I just worry they will make me more gay! Dr can't see me til Monday while here I struggle! Nothing like this for 30 plus yrs of my life and now here I am!        
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Avatar_m_tn
Man i know everything you are going through. I had to do this : Now make a list of why your not gay and why you like ladies. then male one of why your  gay and i know that your list for being gay will be the hardest thing to do i sure the only thing that will come out of the gay one is going be some dues are hansome but you know that already. when you think of being gay you just think of gay sex and that give you fear and what you will lose like wife kids and marriage and sex with ladies. See gay people think about love with a guy and sharing their feelings like you do with your wife and maybe your best amigo.some time it hit me out of no where like you said but when it happen think about the greatness of ladies and how  God made your wife just for you      
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Avatar_m_tn
It ***** I'm getting married today and I'm dealing with this I want to just doe these thoughts ate killing me I want my normal life back it all started with sexuall problems with my soon to be wife I was on some other meds and it could have been that then a guy in my wedding tells me he's gay and bammmm it hit me one thought was am I gay and all down hill I'm very irritated I always think guys are looking at me or I'm looking at them it makes me sick I'm so scared I don't wanna be gay I'd rather be dead I love my girl my son my fam never had this. Problem before  I always feared stuff when I was a kid I thought I had cancer I thought I had aids I freaked out I get so scared for everything I need help how could I feel like this on my wedding day I.wanna be happy I love women been.with them my whole life multiple I played college ball was in locker rooms never affected wtf is wrong with me
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